finding out the sex of an unborn baby

galvanizersbaby

andy.m wrote: »

No no, everyone is different and will take the tender moments they have in their own special ways.

The sadness for me I guess is that you have something so wonderful and magical forming inside you, you are truly blessed and lucky to have such a thing, in just 40 weeks you go from a woman to a mother and it is a miracle.

But you need to know the details now.

Involving science (needed to be able to ascertain the sex) dilutes the magic imo.

Listen, it is horses for courses and everyone has their own rights.

To the lady who says that my sadness means that my life is envyously free from worry has it all wrong, my life is full of worry but I placed not knowing the sex second only to my unborn child and my wife's health during the whole process....

As you say it is your opinion that ascertaining the sex before the birth dilutes the magic (i.e. it would for you)
Your statements are rather contradictory as you acknowledge that everyone is different but at the same time you imply that you are in some way superior/have more self control than someone else who may choose to find out the sex.

Your last statement could even be taken by some that if they chose/choose to know the sex of their unborn baby they are somehow putting this choice to know above their health/that of their unborn child.

It is very interesting to me that you mention you are of the Catholic religion - your views sound very much like that of somebody I used to know.

andy.m_2

You must have a complex if you think my comments suggested that I am superior to you.
I am far from suggesting that, in fact I am advocating choice.

Your (any anyone else's) choices can sadden me though, that is my own right to be saddened

I am Catholic, not self righteous or damning I just made a religious choice.

galvanizersbaby

andy.m wrote: »

You must have a complex if you think my comments suggested that I am superior to you.
I am far from suggesting that, in fact I am advocating choice.

Your (any anyone else's) choices can sadden me though, that is my own right to be saddened

I am Catholic, not self righteous or damning I just made a religious choice.

aaah, glad we cleared that up then

Glad to hear your not self righteous or damning also

Despite having been impatient I am looking forward to feeling great joy when my daughter is held up over the operating screen next month (although I am going through this for the 3rd time it is still just as exciting)

pelirocco

andy.m wrote: »

Everybody who finds out has a great justification why.

We have a beautiful Son, in the first 6 months or so he wore white, blue, yellow whatever.
At no point did the sex of him within my wife's womb have any bearing whatsoever on whether you would have to buy clothes.

The ONLY reason to want to know is impatience

Tbh , is a major achievement just to get dressed yourself in the first few weeks , without faffing around with 'gender appropriate'' clothes :rotfl:

make_me_wise

We have decided not to know the sex of our baby till the birth. We want the surprise. Have waited 2 years to fall pregnant so whats an extra few months before we find out if its a girl or a boy. However each to their own and for those that do want to know in advance I respect that. As someone mentioned earlier, in some cases there are medical reasons to know.

I wanted to ask actually, those of you that chose not to know, did your partners get to tell you the babies sex or did one of the medical staff blurt it out by mistake? Hubby really wants to be the one to tell me what we have had. Im also worried at the scans that we may see. Is it very obvious?

galvanizersbaby

make_me_wise wrote: »

We have decided not to know the sex of our baby till the birth. We want the surprise. Have waited 2 years to fall pregnant so whats an extra few months before we find out if its a girl or a boy. However each to their own and for those that do want to know in advance I respect that. As someone mentioned earlier, in some cases there are medical reasons to know.

I wanted to ask actually, those of you that chose not to know, did your partners get to tell you the babies sex or did one of the medical staff blurt it out by mistake? Hubby really wants to be the one to tell me what we have had. Im also worried at the scans that we may see. Is it very obvious?[/QUOTE]

I choose to find out the sex of all 3 of my babies so far but I would say that it was not that obvious at scans (unless you know what you are looking for of course and are looking in the right place;))
I have never been able to see.

Re partners getting to tell you the sex of the baby - this seems quite important to many people (I know on the pregnancy thread anyway)
My experience of child birth has been c sections so the baby is normally held up over the screen for both parents to see so unless you are closing your eyes you will both know at the same time.

My advice would be that if it's important to you for your OH to tell you the sex of the baby then make it really clear to the medical staff present beforehand

Good luck

Chakani

make_me_wise wrote: »

Im also worried at the scans that we may see. Is it very obvious?

At my scans, the sonographer asked before she started whether we wanted to know, and said that if we didn't, she'd avoid that area. TBH though, it would be difficult for someone untrained to tell in most cases, as it's hard to tell the difference between bits of baby and bits of cord. When she did the scan of my daughter (I did want to know), she showed me how she could tell it was a girl, and frankly, even with someone talking me through it, I couldn't really see.

Good luck with your pregnancy

plumpmouse

make_me_wise wrote: »

We have decided not to know the sex of our baby till the birth. We want the surprise. Have waited 2 years to fall pregnant so whats an extra few months before we find out if its a girl or a boy. However each to their own and for those that do want to know in advance I respect that. As someone mentioned earlier, in some cases there are medical reasons to know.

I wanted to ask actually, those of you that chose not to know, did your partners get to tell you the babies sex or did one of the medical staff blurt it out by mistake? Hubby really wants to be the one to tell me what we have had. Im also worried at the scans that we may see. Is it very obvious?

With my DS the staff must have told DH as they took him away so neither of us saw him initially. With DD she was lifted up so we both saw her (she was a planned section).

I had late scans with both. 1 with my DS at 34 weeks and weekly scans with my DD from about 32 weeks. I always told them I didn't want to know and couldn't see from the scans at all.

tiamai_d

andy.m wrote: »

I am glad you had a happy pregnancy and a little baby girl to show for it :beer:
I am a Catholic so the outcome for me would matter neither way, this will go against the pro-choice brigade however if you are chosing to have a family then the choice is made and the consequences are there to deal with.

Good luck with your family :j

You are also, I would presume, medically one in a million and therefore your case doesn't apply to the "just impatient" lot who all thanked you

Can I ask whether your placenta abruption was related to the fact you had boys or was just something that happened?

My consultant at the time was going by my medical history of two boys, both time I had Pre eclampsia. Carrying a boy increses the risk of pre eclampsia though they are unsure why that is. The abruption happened in the second pregnancy due to the pre eclampsia and it triggered eclampsia and HELLP which in turn caused tachicardia, liver and kidney failure and a whole lot of shizzle. So in his opinion if the third pregnancy was a boy it would have put me at a greater risk of complications.

[Deleted User]

blah blah blah miracle. It's going to be a boy or a girl. There's your big special mystery surprise. It's not going to be a donkey.

If people want to find out before the birth (as people have tried to for thousands of years), so what? It's just as surprising to find out from a sonograph or from when it's born.

We found out in both pregnancies (current one is 21 weeks under way) and it helped us plan the name and stuff that needs doing after the birth. We didn't care either way what the sex was, as long as it's healthy.