finding out the sex of an unborn baby

galvanizersbaby

OrkneyStar wrote: »

Am presuming the only 100% way is an amniocentesis- as that is a DNA based test ? Of course I am not sure an amnio just for sexing is justifiable, as there are risks.

I believe you are correct Orkney - I agree having an amnio purely for sexing purposes would not be justifiable for me personally but not sure about cases where there is a medical need (if such a thing exists) to determine sex of the baby before birth (genetic conditions affecting a particular sex etc...)

stejobeth

When I was pregnant (15 years ago) it wasn't hospital policy to tell the sex of the baby. I was desperate for a girl and only looked at girly stuff when out shopping. We had a girls name but not a boys. My mum even asked me what I would be like if I had a boy. After a very long and difficult labour and then a c section my baby was whisked away because it wasn't breathing. They shouted over to my husband that it was a little boy and I was over the moon that we finally had our baby. It was about 15 mins before they came over and told us that he was a she and she was fine .

Obviously I was on cloud nine to have a daughter but for that 15 mins I was just as happy to have a son .

moomoomama27

Why doesn't she just phone the hospitals that she's considering and ask what their policy is! Wouldn't that clear it up?

Personally I would always chose the hospital with the best reputation, and go by how other experiences have been. I'd rather have no clue f the sex and a good hospital, than know the sex (which is what it's always going to be), and risk having a bad outcome.

pigpen

I was offered an amnio yesterday due to previous downs baby I have been routinely offered it with every pregnancy since I was 19. I actually found myself seriously considering it this time solely to find out the sex.

DD3 I had an extra scan purly because they couldn't tell me the sex at 20wk scan and I had to know I was very ill after having her with PTSD and was very depressed and ill throughout the pregnancy. I was having my 2 youner boys through loads of diagnostic tests for various issues they were having and had she been a boy i was adamant I was not bringing the baby home.. I needed that 18 weeks to get my head sorted. I also asked the gender based on us moving house and I needed which sex to put in the bigger room as it was possible I thought why not.

It makes everything easier.. shopping (though white sleepsuits tend to only come in white ), decorating, choosin names.. had most of them turned out to be the opposite sex.. such as when Dylan Andrew popped out a girl... I was totally over the moon she had a name within a few hours and a whole pink wardrobe within a week.. but it was money I would rather have not had to spend! So I have experienced them getting it wrong and it wasn't the end of the world.

ViolaLass

pigpen wrote: »

It makes everything easier.. shopping (though white sleepsuits tend to only come in white ), decorating, choosin names.. had most of them turned out to be the opposite sex.. such as when Dylan Andrew popped out a girl... I was totally over the moon she had a name within a few hours and a whole pink wardrobe within a week.. but it was money I would rather have not had to spend!

And, of course, you could have chosen to just dress her in what you had already bought.

pigpen

ViolaLass wrote: »

And, of course, you could have chosen to just dress her in what you had already bought.

no, I didn't want other people assuming she was a boy. plus I hadn't bought anything much.. 1 sleepsuit with green bunnies on to be exact she was to wear DS1's stuff.. she stayed in white sleepsuits until she had something else to wear.

OrkneyStar

Apricot wrote: »

Yes it matters to me that people know what sex my baby is. It matters that my child's first outfit is one that I have lovingly chosen with her in mind. I wouldn't want my son having a pink bouncy chair, pink baby bath and a pink pushchair - Im not saying there is anything wrong with that but I don't want it

A baby boy may not be upset if you dressed him in pink day in day out but try and see how he feels when he looks back at baby photos of himself and sees everything around him is pink. He's going to think you wished for a girl.

As I said if I couldn't have found out the sex I would have paid for a private scan but I could find out so I did.

If the scan was wrong - well that'll be the biggest surprise of all!:D

Fair enough you found out, and that was your choice, but regarding all the purchases such as high chair, bouncy chair, cot sheets, towels etc. etc., to me it makes sense to buy these things in neutral (white, yellow, red, orange, purple, green etc.) colours, then they can be used for any future children (should you want any more of course!). Saves re-buying everything. Remember once bubs is born most people will get presents in the 'correct' colours (we certainly got far too much!).
We took neutral things to hospital but little blue and little bibs and socks, so even if dressed in a neutral baby-gro we could make it obvious what he/she was!
I suppose everyone has their own reasons, but I do think part of wanting to find out is simply impatience, in some cases.
Anyway all the best to all mummies to be, and good health to the pink, blue and lemon (or any other colour ) bumps!

ViolaLass

pigpen wrote: »

no, I didn't want other people assuming she was a boy.

This is the bit I don't really get, why would you care? And why do children have to be dressed in pink for people to think they're a girl?

twi1ight

Wow, this has sparked a debate hasn't it?

I found out the sex of my unborn baby a few weeks ago. I didn't need to know but I wanted to and the sonographer was able to tell me what they thought it was. I don't care if they are wrong. I'm glad not to be spending the next 4 months thinking "Is it this" or "is it that" and especially glad that I won't have to listen to people speculating about what sex it is by the way I look!

Maybe it's a bit like how I don't spend ages filling in the page at the front of my cheque book every time I make a transaction and then hope I have done it right and will have money left at the end of the month. I can check online whenever I like. I can, I want to so why not?

OrkneyStar

twi1ight wrote: »

Wow, this has sparked a debate hasn't it?

I found out the sex of my unborn baby a few weeks ago. I didn't need to know but I wanted to and the sonographer was able to tell me what they thought it was. I don't care if they are wrong. I'm glad not to be spending the next 4 months thinking "Is it this" or "is it that" and especially glad that I won't have to listen to people speculating about what sex it is by the way I look!

Sure has lol, all the best with your pregnancy, the thing is I found you suddenly become peoples property when you have a bump, and so they will find something or other to speculate about lol! At least you can wink and smile when they say this or that, or keep them guessing a bit but secretly knowing!

ViolaLass wrote: »

This is the bit I don't really get, why would you care? And why do children have to be dressed in pink for people to think they're a girl?

I must admit I get a bit fed up with all this 'she's a girl, everything HAS to be pink' thing lol! (mind I don't really like pink so maybe that is why!).

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

I believe you are correct Orkney - I agree having an amnio purely for sexing purposes would not be justifiable for me personally but not sure about cases where there is a medical need (if such a thing exists) to determine sex of the baby before birth (genetic conditions affecting a particular sex etc...)

Yes, I would clarify amniocentesis simply to find out sex for curiosity would not be justifiable to me (might be to others though!), of course if there was a gender-related condition then sexing in relation to that would be a whole different matter. Although what you would then do with the info after the amnio, I can imagine, must be a whole new topic and a minefield in itself.