Tips for newly cohabiting couple...

getmore4less

For the tax side look up HMRC renta room scheme,

All payments, rent and bill count towards the limit.

Most people just ignore the tax side of things.

xangeleyes

NEVER sleep on an argument! Otherwise you'll both wake up feeling horrid and resenting and still thinking about the argument.

Keep DATING! Always have your dates! You need to keep having time together for just the two of you!

Sort out a cleaning routine, most of your arguments will be about whose turn it is to wash up lol.

Good luck.

Living together for 11 years

G51shopaholic

Been with my partner for over 25yrs, been living together for over 22yrs.

You both need to sit down and be honest with what annoys you about the other person.

My partner used to come up to my mums and tidy my room, so he knew I was messy and I knew he was a neat freak!

Things you wont even have thought of like

1. Who get what side of the bed?
2. Decorating - my partner & I are both Scorpio's so picking wallpaper was an experience! We then split the rooms in the house so there was no
fighting over colours (except our bedrooms have ALWAYS been done in light green - we both HATE pink).
3. Housework - who does what & when (but if you can afford it buy a dishwasher).
3b - laundry - not having to pick up his smelly socks or worse 2nd day underwear!
4. Seperate nights out with friends.
5. Having friends over - not bring a group of people over when either of you is !!!!ed on a works night out.
6. TV - it help if you love football but have a portable. I LOVE football so we have Sky anyroom so he can go watch
his DIY programmes in another room.

If you get it right at the start you'll last as long as we have!

GOOD LUCK

burnoutbabe

HappyMJ wrote: »

Ahhhhh yes but my mortgage is fully offset I don't physically pay anything from my income. I do own the house outright but have a facility/mortgage at the bank where I can drawdown the full balance of the mortgage and invest the cash elsewhere which I have done as the interest earnt on savings accounts exceeds the interest payable on the mortgage.

if you have no mortgage costs, you shouldn't charge your other half any rent, else you are making money out of them.

They should save the rent they would have paid, towards a future purchase together or a deposit if they need to move out. Hopefully after a year or so or living together, a more formal arrangement will be done (ie buy somewhere bigger or they buy into your place)

CheeseCat

Caroline_a wrote: »

Just to say that I didn't mean a joint account for both wages to go into, I meant a joint account that both pay into and the bills come out of (if that makes sense...:)). You of course must both keep your own bank accounts where your wages go into, plus any savings accounts. So then there is no arguing 'I paid this, and you only paid that', each person puts the same amount in each month, and all bills will be split.

Oh yeah we didnt do that either but I don't recommend a joint account either way unless you've been together a long time. No money goes in or out of ours now and I still can't close the damn thing and stop our credit files being linked without his say so!

Person_one

CheeseCat wrote: »

Oh yeah we didnt do that either but I don't recommend a joint account either way unless you've been together a long time. No money goes in or out of ours now and I still can't close the damn thing and stop our credit files being linked without his say so!

I'm sure there must be a way to solve this, I've seen people on here talk about a 'note of disassociation' before, what's that? When I wanted to close my joint account with my ex they just took my name off it so he technically kept the account it just wasn't joint anymore. I think you need to kick up a fuss with your bank!

CheeseCat

I tried looking it up online but didn't find anything too useful about my bank and situation in particular. I did wonder what people do when their ex disappears or they are not on speaking terms.. it can't just be me?

I have been into Natwest twice and twice they have fobbed me off saying that I need his card and a letter signed by him to close it. Thanks for the tip though I will definitely be bothering them about a note of disassociation now - thankyou - There isn't even any money in there to dispute over.

(and sorry OP for the hijack)

iamana1ias

CheeseCat wrote: »

Oh yeah we didnt do that either but I don't recommend a joint account either way unless you've been together a long time.

My parents have been married 38 years and still don't have one! They really shouldn't be rushed into - I'm sure most of the time they aren't necessary.

leandygandy

Let me tell you all about when my husband and I moved in together.....it was four years ago and we were bf and gf back then.

It was awful!! We got a mortgage and although I stayed at his and he mine most nights, we hadn't actually lived together prior to this. Had we just rented, we both agree now that we would probably have broken up.

Why?

1. He was used to his mum coming round to pick up/drop off his shopping/washing once a week. She anticipated continuing this once we had moved in together, and it caused a lot of friction as I was not happy for this to happen (she'd take his clothes out of the wash basket and leave mine behind)

2. His family used to turn up unannounced, whereas I was used to having family that would call beforehand to check it was ok (nine times out of ten they were welcome, may I add, just courteous to check first!)

3. I was a lot tidier than him and had much higher standards of cleanliness (not sure if mine have declined over the years or if his have raised lol) - also the ratio of who did what was a little off.

4. The food shop - he was a brand addict whereas I was a supermarket own kind of girl, the food bill was a bone of contention for a long time.

There was probably more, but they're the key ones. Needless to say we worked through things and are now married, and I love the bones of that man, faults and all (may I add that I am not perfect myself and I'm sure he'd say the same about me - I'm a right moaning moo when I'm on one!)

What will make things easier for you:

1. Sort out finances, who pays for what.

2. Sort out housework, who does what - in our house we have 'pink' jobs (mine - washing and ironing, bathroom cleaning, dusting), 'blue' jobs (his - washing up, hoovering, taking rubbish out and emptying cat tray) and shared jobs - everything else.

3. Always show each other you appreciate them. Hubby and I can go all day with just a kiss and a 'love you' as we leave for work, and a cuddle just before bed, but as long as we have both those things we know everything is fine. Try not to dwell on arguments too much!

4. Make time for each other at least once or twice a week to do things you both enjoy.

5. Compromise - e.g. in our house, television. When we moved in, hubby said 'urgh, I hope you're not going to watch all the soaps' to which I replied 'urgh, I hope you're not going to watch all the sports'. I agreed to only watch the Hollyoaks omnibus once a week - he agreed to Liverpool football games and international cricket, football, and rugby (I'll happily watch cricket and rugby with him)

Good luck living together!

Person_one

iamana1ias wrote: »

My parents have been married 38 years and still don't have one! They really shouldn't be rushed into - I'm sure most of the time they aren't necessary.

I hate to bring it up, but do they have access to joint monies in the event of the death or serious illness of the other?