Tips for newly cohabiting couple...

split_second

I'm in a sort of similar position- girlfriend's rental on her flat ends in 4 weeks

i've had my own place mortgaged for a few years so she is coming to live with me, dont think she will mind me telling what our plan is (she is a comper)

bills staying in my name, no point changing and as long as i get roughly half, i'm not fussed.
we have 'yours and mine' for the cars and the phones and thats about it, most of the stuff in the house is either stuff i bought before we got together or bought second hand.
we have decided to alternate food shops, most expensive things last ages anyway and we make a point not to sweat over a pound here and there.

alipops1986

norabatty wrote: »

That was our plan too when we first moved in! I think it lasted 6 months, which is also how long it took us to get together and figure out who had spent how much on bills, food, B&Q, etc - by this stage, we realised that he owed me approximately £2000, which he couldn't afford to pay me! :eek: Like most couples, the woman usually ends up doing ALL the food shopping. I also paid most of the bills. After that incident, we moved to the system of putting everything on the one credit card.

Anyway, as the person who wasn't paying the mortgage, I would have some difficulty with being in your boyfriend's position. You are paying your mortgage on your apartment. But he is paying for all your food and bills. By not paying separate rent, he is effectively paying half your mortgage by paying for all the bills and the food shopping and would be able to claim so if you were living together for several years, for example if you lived together for 5 years and then split up, he could claim that he paid 50% of the mortgage for 5 years. This problem could easily be rectified by charging him rent and then splitting the bills 50/50. The difference in monetary terms is probably minimal, (depending on how big your mortgage is and how much you would charge in rent) but it would save you alot of hassle if you did break up and things turned nasty, as they often unfortunately do when couples break up.

Thanks very much for your post.
Could you give me a little more detail on the finance plan you have? Basically, we do want to go 50/50, so it's fair otherwise he's practically living here for free!
So, we added up everything and coincidently, the mortgage equaled the bills including expected money on food. All the bills are in my name and will stay that way, he'll just send me a direct debit of a certain amount, then pay for food. This will equal the costs of the mortgage. Anything over this cost will be halved.
From what you're suggesting, and from what i understand - I should pay the mortgage and half the bills, then he pays the other half the bills? Surely this wouldn't be entirely equal?

Thanks again,
Alipops x

Gloomendoom

split_second wrote: »

i've had my own place mortgaged for a few years so she is coming to live with me, dont think she will mind me telling what our plan is (she is a comper).

:huh: A what?

iamana1ias

Gloomendoom wrote: »

:huh: A what?

She uses the competitions forum

Person_one

Please have a plan in place for if one of you is made redundant or loses your job for whatever reason.

My ex thought that I should continue to pay 50% of all the bills and mortgage when I was made redundant, when I told him that wasn't going to happen he decided to keep a running total of my half so that I could pay him back when I got a job. Yeah, that relationship didn't last.

Remember that by moving in together you are making yourselves a 'household' in the eyes of the government and your incomes are now joint for benefit/tax credits purposes. If either of you lose your jobs, the other one has a responsibility to help you out and support you.

iamana1ias

alipops1986 wrote: »

From what you're suggesting, and from what i understand - I should pay the mortgage and half the bills, then he pays the other half the bills? Surely this wouldn't be entirely equal?

Thanks again,
Alipops x

No, you need to formalise the 'rent' bit. If you have a contract that he rents from you then he has no claim over the part of the mortgage his rent has paid. If he just gives you money equivalent to half the mortgage and bills, he has a claim.

alipops1986

iamana1ias wrote: »

No, you need to formalise the 'rent' bit. If you have a contract that he rents from you then he has no claim over the part of the mortgage his rent has paid. If he just gives you money equivalent to half the mortgage and bills, he has a claim.

Is it enough for him to label the direct debit "rent" ? or do we need something in writing? I don't want to seem really unromantic/negative about everything! Think total amount of the direct debit is something like £150, so that alone won't look like it's half the bills etc.

Person_one

alipops1986 wrote: »

Is it enough for him to label the direct debit "rent" ? or do we need something in writing? I don't want to seem really unromantic/negative about everything! Think total amount of the direct debit is something like £150, so that alone won't look like it's half the bills etc.

Better to have something in writing, it shouldn't cost too much to get a solicitor to write it up. A lot cheaper than half your house anyway!

iamana1ias

alipops1986 wrote: »

Is it enough for him to label the direct debit "rent" ? or do we need something in writing? I don't want to seem really unromantic/negative about everything! Think total amount of the direct debit is something like £150, so that alone won't look like it's half the bills etc.

No, you need a rental contract, in writing, signed by you both.

And it will be a standing order, not a direct debit.

Not a good idea for him to take over the household bills either. You should agree the total amount for him to transfer, as covered by the contract, and use that to pay the bills.

alipops1986

iamana1ias wrote: »

No, you need a rental contract, in writing, signed by you both.

And it will be a standing order, not a direct debit.

Not a good idea for him to take over the household bills either. You should agree the total amount for him to transfer, as covered by the contract, and use that to pay the bills.

Would this mean i'd have to declare the rent for tax purposes?