not knowing which way to turn

julie03

very angry at the moment:mad:

my 16 yr old son had his phone taken off him and also my dsi xl(didnt know he had it) it was taken by 2 thugs who he knew but they verbally threatened him.
this was yesterday and he stayed at a friends house last night so didnt tell us till this evening.

Because he knows who did it, it seems more complicated.
we have called the police and they are coming tomorrow but my son is extremely reluctant to name names, as it means never going to the park again as these kids have said they will hurt him and they are known to be related to "travellers"

if we do nothing they get away with it but if we involve the police they could hurt him and his life is worth more than a cheap phone and a ds. it seems you cant do right for doing wrong
we have called the police and they are coming tomorrow for an informal chat so we will see what happens

dont know why im posting just need to vent about it

johnnyboyrebel

julie03 wrote: »

very angry at the moment:mad:

my 16 yr old son had his phone taken off him and also my dsi xl(didnt know he had it) it was taken by 2 thugs who he knew but they verbally threatened him.
this was yesterday and he stayed at a friends house last night so didnt tell us till this evening.

Because he knows who did it, it seems more complicated.
we have called the police and they are coming tomorrow but my son is extremely reluctant to name names, as it means never going to the park again as these kids have said they will hurt him and they are known to be related to "travellers"

if we do nothing they get away with it but if we involve the police they could hurt him and his life is worth more than a cheap phone and a ds. it seems you cant do right for doing wrong
we have called the police and they are coming tomorrow for an informal chat so we will see what happens

dont know why im posting just need to vent about it

Its a tricky one. Being a relatively "young bloke" still, I think my opinion is more edged towards taking the hit and the loss and dont name any names as I can understand where your son is coming from.

I mention me being "young" as I would imagine that like yours, most parents' opinion would be to get the police round, give the names and let the police sort it out but unfortunately with the dangers these days it is never that simple with all the bullying and more grief your son could experience.

Like you say, you cant win either way. The other option of course is to get your "own back" on the thugs whichever way you see fit (if you see what I am getting at) although i would certainly not condone this but sometimes this is the only language these people talk unfortunately.

DCFC79

Christ(sorry for blaspheming) what a pickle, he should speak up but then im not in that position, no wonder travellers get a bad name when people threaten people

johnnyboyrebel

DCFC79 wrote: »

he should speak up

That will be the general consensus however having experienced the situation many years ago (a friend of mine) it is actually probably the worst thing he could do.

DCFC79

johnnyboyrebel wrote: »

That will be the general consensus however having experienced the situation many years ago (a friend of mine) it is actually probably the worst thing he could do.

yes your right but the 2 shouldnt get away with it,

i agree its tricky situation, i retract what i said earlier, if your son is adamant he doesnt want to name names then you cant force him to name names, just make sure your son doesnt have anything of value on him in future and maybe just maybe the thugs will get bored

Bennifred

Julie, make sure that the police know about the threats as well as the theft, and that you are afraid of the repercussions.

I know it is a very difficult thing to do, but if no-one ever does the right thing by reporting these thugs, they will do it again and again, and possibly worse. They need to know that people won't just roll over in the face of their threats. (I'm assuming here that they haven't physically harmed your son, but verbally threatened him)

julie03

DCFC79 wrote: »

yes your right but the 2 shouldnt get away with it,

this is how i feel, but i also feel that he shouldnt feel intimidated everytime he goes out and having to look over his shoulder all the time, they know the area where we live and you hear about repercussions in the news, and having other young children, it worries me.

i really hate this:mad:

julie03

Bennifred wrote: »

Julie, make sure that the police know about the threats as well as the theft, and that you are afraid of the repercussions.

I know it is a very difficult thing to do, but if no-one ever does the right thing by reporting these thugs, they will do it again and again, and possibly worse. They need to know that people won't just roll over in the face of their threats. (I'm assuming here that they haven't physically harmed your son, but verbally threatened him)

he was only verbally threatened, they also told him if he licked their shoes they might give it back. worse thing was he actually did it and they still didnt give them back so now they know he is a pushover.
he was on his own at the time and there were three of them.
he is a bit of an emo so is a target for chavs and thugs when on his own

DCFC79

julie03 wrote: »

he was only verbally threatened, they also told him if he licked their shoes they might give it back. worse thing was he actually did it and they still didnt give them back so now they know he is a pushover.
he was on his own at the time and there were three of them.
he is a bit of an emo so is a target for chavs and thugs when on his own

maybe he shouldnt walk through the park on his own, does he not know any older teens(possible neighbours, anyone you know personally eg rugby players) who he could walk through the park with

julie03

he was only on his own for 10 minutes, he has a wide group of friends and most of the time he would be ok, its just the wider circle he is scared of, he also knows of people that have been beaten by two of them because they thought the police had been involved.

Bennifred

I do understand how you feel - my DS1 was a goth at that age, and he may as well have had "hit me" on his forehead as far as the local "townies" were concerned. He ignored them as much as possible, didn't engage, and learnt to walk home from town different routes to avoid areas he knew they were likely to be. It all made me very angry, but I was proud that he never altered his appearance to suit someone else.

It is a great pity your boy licked their boots, (how humiliating for the poor lad!) as I think that will have made him more of a target in the future - IF HE DOESN'T REPORT THEM. I honestly think he wil be better off telling the police - I don't think he's got anything to lose now they think he's a pushover. Horrible to live your life in fear. It is actually a lesson in doing the right thing, standing up to bullies, etc.