Memorygirls - The Matrix Re-inspired

claudiac_2

Fantasia - Have got the gist of what has happened, and I just wanted to say that I am thinking of you. You will get through this with a bit of help, but remember it is YOU who will come through, and be a stronger person. Keep breathing, keep talking/ranting and know we are all with you. Stay strong.

Sending virtual hugs ((( ))), and positive thoughts for you. xx

Mrs_Hicks

((((Fantasia)))) Please have some hugs from me too, again pm if you need to. All the Matrix is here for you so you do have a support network behind you. I have always found you really positive in all your posts so please do not believe what you have been told in anger xxx

Back from my camping trip feeling very refreshed and we had lovely sunny weather this time.

Souk08

Morning all,

Fantasia, starting from scratch is not easy but it CAN be done and you WILL come through it. Take each day at a time and expect to take two steps forward and three steps back. We're all here for you and some of us are not too far away X

Karmacat

Morning. Hopped on here straight away. I seem to remember that last night Fantasia said she had work today, so maybe she won't post till much later - but whenever you do, Fantasia, remember that people are thinking of you with love and support. And some of the quotations that people have been posting have meaning for me too, I've been cutting and pasting a bit myself.

Take care.

Triciaxx

My internet connection went down last night! Grrr to mobile connections.

I know you are at work now Fantasia but hope you slept and feel at least a bit better this morning. Good for you in throwing out the cigs. Keep wearing patches for a while so you are not tempted again.

I'm with MG on disliking the 'stay positive' message of American (and, to be fair, some British) programmes. Bottling up emotion is a serious failing of us Brits. Let it out in safety on here and cry all you need to.

((hugs))

Firewalker

Memory_Girl wrote: »

One of the things I don't like about "American" personal development is the need to be positive all of the time - sometimes you need to have a "B**chfest" and let it all out before you can move on.
MG

Agree. Being positive and being 'chirpy as a canary' are different things. Look at me - miserable as hell and one of the most positive people around (surprised even myself there):rotfl:. Why? Because I see life as consisting of problems to be solved (or puzzles) rather than simply a string of events (things that happen to me).

Fantasia, you will feel emotional - but never think that you are not worth anything. In fact, anyone who makes you feel like this is probably not worth getting emotional over. Think woman, think!

What you need (not want)?

1. You need shelter (for you and a dog). How are you going to sort this out? Do you have money put on the side to pay for this? Shared house? Friends where you can stay (agaist a small rent) till you find something more appropriate? Organisations that can pffer support in this crisis?
2) You need money for living expenses. Do you have a separate bank account? What is in it? If not, do get money out and open another account BEFORE OH has remembered to 'lock' you out.
3) You need to keep you job and, possibly, get another one. Alternatively you will have to get back to the idea of finding your muse (start on your own).
4) You need to decide where do you want to be (to live)? Do you want to stay in Scotland? Move?

There are many other questions to be asked, puzzles to be solved and decisions to be made. The point is that when your world is crumbling around you feeling bad about it is natural but not very constructive; asking yourself why is interesting but useful only in the distant future. Holding the walls us somehow is what should happen now!

This my friends is positivity, the British way! (Well, the European way, anyway).

Firewalker

oceanspirit

Fantasia, well done for throwing away the cigarettes. You have a lot on your plate at the moment and it's difficult to see the way forward but if you take it one step at a time you will find it.

You have already proved to yourself that you can do something to help your physical health - your peak flow results showed that what you are doing is the right thing for you so keep on with that.

The rest will slowly come together and you will be able to start to rebuild your life.

"The antidote for despair is action" Lisa Nichols.

MrsMoo2U

Morning you fantastic lot. Came on here asap to check out how Fantasia is. I could not agree more with MG and FW regarding the positivity bit. (and the others too).

Fantasia, things look bleak for you now and so go with that flow and be as bleak as you need to be yourself, you can and should feel sorry for yourself and retreat to lick your wounds. If you dont do that then you will take longer to get back up and move forward. As I said last night I go into practical mode when dealing with problems (just as FW has done above). That doesnt mean that I am positive - just trying to deal with things as best I can. I have been where you are now, nobody to turn to, nowhere to go to and no money to do anything with. Believe me when I say that things will open up to you. You have to accept help from wherever it appears and it would seem to me that you are already moving down that road by saying out loud to us that you need help. So be sorry for yourself but try to be practical at the same time is what I think that I am saying. Get a piece of paper and a pen and just sit and write down anything that comes into your head - all of your fears and worries. Then start working out how to overcome them. You can do this with tears running down your face if you need to but you cant do it with the covers pulled over your head. Set the alarm clock and no matter what you feel like get out of that bed, take Leyla for a walk and get on with the day. Again, I know that Leyla will be a big help here because you wont be able to retreat to your bed for too long.

ClootiesMum

Fantasia - loads of good advice on here..... hopefully you're at work today as that will mean you're out the house & have a bit "normality".
And as Firewalker said - look on this as an opportunity. Where do you actually work & do you and to keep the job? If so, look at communatable distances and where you'd like to stay in that area. Or do you want to move back down beside your family? Only issue there is you will also need to look for a job.
Can you take a few days holiday this week - there may be a bit of running around looking for accomodation & making calls & you might feel more comfortable not being at work for that.

I'm not going to say any more as you'll probably not be in a mental position to take things in

But remember - we're all here for you and will help you any way we can - and as you can see - the Matrix is practical (scarily so at times) but that's what you need right now

CM

Memory_Girl

Fantasia - doggie has gone home to his Dad.

I have stripped the bed in the guest room and gotthe bedding out on the line and you are very welcome to come if you need a room for a while (After you have taken the advice you need to this next week).

Unfortunately I don't think a flat is the right place for Layla - but if you can find someone to foster her for a while it could be an immediate plan whilst you work on the bigger one.

MG

PS DS1 and DS2 have been "harvesting" broad beans - there are now three cups of bean in the freezer for broad bean and mint risotto in the winter -plenty more to come too.