Memorygirls - The Matrix Re-inspired

thriftyscotslass

Phew, two days in real life, so I have just caught up with all the goings on over the past couple of days.

Fantasia, please, please believe that you are a very brave and special lady.

My brother and I were abused (physical and verbal) and neglected (dirty, cold, badly clothed, hungry) children. My uncle, aunt (who was a teacher), god-mother, god-father and best friend's mother and father all knew. My uncle used to pour alcohol down the loo so that my Dad could not drink it; my god-mother used to find second-hand clothes to cloth me and my brother, her husband (my god-father) used to slip me £5 notes (which was a lot of money in those days); my best friend's Mum and Dad used to feed me (almost constantly), and take me on day's out for a treat.

Yet not one of them spoke out against what was happening to us.

Years later when I was in counselling that was a recurring theme for weeks on end - why did no-one rescue us, why did no-one get us the h*ll out of there, did no-onecare, were we not worth it.... the anger, the feelings of abandonment, the feelings of worthlessness were overwhelming. To this day, I still have feelings of amazement that the laws existed to protect children from the type of childhood my brother and I experienced, yet no-one did anything.

Later, long after my father had died and I was going through counselling, I tackled my mother about her role in all this. Guess what, she denied it totally - denied that my brother and I had ever been physically and verbally abused or neglected. I can still hear the scorn in her voice as she said "it wasn't thhhhaaaaaattttt bad, you silly girl".

That was the head-wrecker. I spent quite a while in therapy getting my head around this. For a while, I honestly thought I was going mad. She denied or minimised every memory that I brought up. What I learnt was that she was a very sick woman, she had re-written all these episodes in her own mind, she had built a glass house where our past was golden and absolutely nothing was going to fracture that glass house, least of all the memories of her own two children.

So Fantasia, in my eyes, you have rescued that young person not once but twice. Firstly, by getting them out of the abusive situation and secondly by refusing to deny that it had taken place and allow it to be swept under the carpet.

I do so hope that your letter to Mr Fantasia gets you the love and support that you deserve in real life as this difficult situation unfolds. I feel proud and priviledged to "know" you and wish there had been a Fantasia around when I was a child. Love to you, Thriftyxxx

Bitsy_Beans

Gemmzie hope ur feeling better soon xx

Claire well done on you boiler fund no news on cat since 5pm which I am taking as good.

Cheery I vote we have a mass matrix converge on your house to have a group declutter as I fear you will drown under all your stuff LOL! Glad u found the drill.

MG enjoy your frugal weekend

Bitsy_Beans

Thrifty if u could thank your post more than once I would. Hugs for you and like kittkins thank you for having the courage to share xx

Lara44

Me too, Thrifty your post says it all. Thrifty and Fantastia both huge ((((hugs)))) you really deserve them.

Only 10 days left in Kampala!! I am so tired and have had a stomach upset for the last few days. I can't wait to sleep in. The end is so close now, and it has been a great trip. I am sad to leave but so excited to see OH.

I have so enjoyed keeping up with all the gossip

MrsMoo2U

I feel proud and privelaged to know so many strong women. That saying is really coming home to roost Fantasia, what doesnt break you will make you stronger. Look how many strong women are on this thread.

Memory_Girl

Wooohoooo!!!

My Dad (Stepdad in case you read earlier posts ) just texted me that he has just got his OLD job back (he left to retire 2 yrs ago).

THis is great news because he has been doing occasional temp work because their savings are really not generating anything due to crappy interest rates.

So he is jacking the temp job in after tonights shift and starts again in his old office on Monday.

Go Dad!!!!!!

Even better he has ordered 2 curtain poles for me - chocolate brown metal to be picked up from A***s in the morning. Hope he offers to come around and help me put them up.

Getting excited about my boudoir now :j:j

MG

Kittikins

WOW Claire, how quickly have you gathered over 10% of your boiler budget? It's only a matter of days, or a couple of weeks isn't it?!? You must be feeling really chuffed Keep up the good work!

Gemmzie ((hugs)) hope the migraine/whatever it is passes quickly - and thanks (not) for reminding me that I too have an exam in June and ought to start thinking about opening a textbook to start thinking about revising for it soonish.....!

Hugs Thrifty xxx

EssexHebridean

Claire - fantastic on hitting the 10% mark! :T

Dinner was the enchiladas, which were delicious, followed up by some Korma Mix (like Bombay mix!) which may not have been quite as healthy as some of the stuff I've been eating! There has also been beer happening this evening, but that's because it's a Friday night, and beer happens on fridays. On the positive side though my portion of the main meal was smaller than normal, and there is still some korma mix left in the packet!

Memory_Girl

Way to go Claire - baby steps all the way :T and it's great that we can come on here and celebrate each penny of the way.

Feel a little easier about the money situationthis morning - have decided to consider it a cashflow bottleneck.

From the business I am due from the 121

£30.00 travel
£26.00 of materials (pens, paper, pencils, books etc)

From the book sale I am due

£46.00 of postage

From my Mum I am due

£20.00 for a silk dress, heels, bag and necklace sourced for her in various Charity Shops for her next wedding party (really gorgeous and I am jealous it is in her size)

So £122 can be got hold of on Monday - not to mention the invoices for the 121 and the Books should be paid this week coming too.

So although a frugal weekend - it is actually looking quite bright. Food stores are topped up (need to buy some squash though).

So enough moping and on with the weekend of decluttering and moving stuff to skip / carboot pile/ Charity shop.


............... and maybe even a spot of gardenning (my courgettes may need to be relocated soon as they are taking off in the window)

Boys are stirring - time to make a pancake brekkie

MG

MrsMoo2U

Good Mornin', Good Mornin', http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0j3-tmQLjg

What a lovely day.
Claire storming ahead there lady you will have that boiler before the winter I am sure
MG not too bad figures there. Frugal weekends mean more time around the house dont they doing fun stuff with the kids?