lionheartedgirl promises to let it shine :)

lionheartedgirl

morning all I am a lovely lazy morning of Corrie catch-up. Well, I was, but realised I saw Monday's episodes so might sneak a quick Davina in as I had a little too much wine last night and am feeling guilty :rotfl:

The first TT race starts at noon so will be listening to Manx Radio (oh I love the internet!) and watching the live timing (also on the internet hurrah!!) - hope everyone gets round safely and although Guy Martin is a controversial character I hope he gets a win at last.

off to friend's house after the racing, to head off to other friend's house for her housewarming, where we will mostly be talking about racing with other people who race. I am looking forward to it - catching up with people I haven't seen in ages, plus it feels like a small step back into a world which I adore and am very much looking forward to being a part of again very soon.

there is housework to do but it can wait.

A dog needing a home has popped up via one of my aunty's workmates up north. I can't have him as he needs to be with other dogs, but hoping my mum can maybe find a way as she had wanted another one. We are as bad as each other for collecting waifs and strays - dogs as well as people :rotfl:

that's about it so best get to Davina :j

hope everyone has a fab weekend x

Wordsmith

lionheartedgirl wrote: »

I can't have him as he needs to be with other dogs, but hoping my mum can maybe find a way as she had wanted another one.

You could always rescue two ...

Have a lovely, sociable weekend.

choogirl

Hi Lionheartedgirl

New resolution from myself is to reply to your diary as soon as I read something, it moves so fast!

I looked on your website link for the Greyhounds and they all look so sad, I would adopt the lot of them. I'm a softie when it comes to animals!

Which part of Italy are you going to? I've been a few times - Lake Garda, Rome, Venice and a couple of ski resorts and love it. The food is amazing and the language is so poetic. We'd like to take the kids there as they both love pizza and pasta, it would be a gourmet delight for them.

Hope you have a lovely weekend xxxx

lionheartedgirl

Wordsmith - much as I would love to have 2 I can't even look after one full time at the mo! Am thinking on though! And I can live through your own adventures instead and it almost feels like I am getting all the joy of the daft tales with none of the clearing up sick bits that makes me sound really mean!

choogirl things aren't moving very quickly at the moment that's for sure, as I am STILL hungover from Saturday night! :eek: :rotfl:

It was a good night but I was with lots of people I didn't know so felt I needed a drink in my hand, and there was nothing else other than wine/beer, kept getting topped up by lovely friend and didn't eat enough. Apparently i was showing my knickers in the kitchen. Worrying as I was wearing a dress and leggings. So I hope/suspect I am being teased about it and nothing actually happened.

Lovely friend is very lovely but I don't fancy him. Wish I did as it would make things a million times easier

I'm off to counselling later, harp lesson tomorrow night, cinema on Wednesday, Brownies on Thursday. So am aiming for lots of sleep, eating properly, no alcohol (not hard at the moment).

Ex hubs rang last night, and his lovely lovely uncle died of cancer last week. It's so dreadfully sad, he was a total hoot and made me very welcome in the family. Ex hubs is off to the funeral on Friday and had rung to see if I could have the dog an extra couple of days.

He is now saying the dog is really struggling, so if he has finally got the message, the dog must be really bad. We have agreed we will see how he goes this week but I don't think it will be much longer now. although I have said that many times over recent months and he always seems to have a miraculous recovery :rotfl: greyhounds have a reputation for being stubborn, the boys in particular and they are one of the most difficult breeds to train. People think they are stupid, they are not, they just cannot be bothered and do not see the point in lowering themselves to do tricks for humans when they could be sleeping instead :rotfl: I have to say I like their style :cool:

choogirl

lionheartedgirl wrote: »

choogirl things aren't moving very quickly at the moment that's for sure, as I am STILL hungover from Saturday night! :eek: :rotfl:

It was a good night but I was with lots of people I didn't know so felt I needed a drink in my hand, and there was nothing else other than wine/beer, kept getting topped up by lovely friend and didn't eat enough. Apparently i was showing my knickers in the kitchen. Worrying as I was wearing a dress and leggings. So I hope/suspect I am being teased about it and nothing actually happened.

People think they are stupid, they are not, they just cannot be bothered and do not see the point in lowering themselves to do tricks for humans when they could be sleeping instead :rotfl: I have to say I like their style :cool:

Hi Lionheartedgirl

HUNGOVER FROM SATURDAY - I like it :rotfl:

Theres nothing worse than drinking on an empty stomach, always a recipe for disaster!

Sorry to hear about your ex hubs uncle passing away.

I like the Greyhounds thought process of not pleasing anyone just for the sake of it, its something that we all wish we could get away with just occasionally!

Hope the pooch is ok.

Take care xx

lionheartedgirl

afternoon all

not much to report really. had a lovely long chat with MrP last night which was very unexpected but very nice, we talked about all sorts and could have gone on all night. couldn't sleep afterwards though as my poor brain was on overtime :rotfl:

had counselling session last night. lots of unpleasantness involving ex fiance - thankfully it doesn't involve me, but sadly does involve others and I am very much best off out of it.

It's almost a year since I got the nasty phone call saying that life as I knew it was not as I thought, and really I feel I should be a bit further on by now. I know I am getting there though which is good.

It's not that much longer until a year since the wedding should have been, and last night we talked a lot about feeling relieved that things hadn't gone as planned in the end, even though it had been a cruel way of finding out. I feel like it's something I should celebrate, the fact that I will not have been married for a year to that man, as had I been, well I may not have been here as I think dealing with everything would have finished me off. I am 90% sure I would have lost my house and I think the emotional abuse that was going on would have sent me over the edge.

This is sounding rather glum so I will cheer things up - I think I am going to plan another trip back to Bath for my non-wedding anniversary, as I know I will love it and get some serious TLC there. It's not cheap but if I can fit a week's worth of relaxation into 3 or 4 days then that has to be A Good Thing

Wordsmith

lionheartedgirl wrote: »

had a lovely long chat with MrP last night which was very unexpected but very nice, we talked about all sorts and could have gone on all night. couldn't sleep afterwards though as my poor brain was on overtime

How lovely to receive (I am assuming receive, not make?) a call like that. Is he still a Mr Possible?

lionheartedgirl wrote: »

and I am very much best off out of it.

You are indeed!

lionheartedgirl wrote: »

It's almost a year since I got the nasty phone call saying that life as I knew it was not as I thought, and really I feel I should be a bit further on by now. I know I am getting there though which is good.

You are much more than getting there. I've been reading your diary since the first post - it is obvious to me that you have taken huge strides forward and you are in a much better place now than you were then.

lionheartedgirl wrote: »

feeling relieved that things hadn't gone as planned in the end

Everything happens for a reason!

And I know you are upset for the people he is hurting, but this is now their problem and not yours. I know that sounds harsh, but really, you need to steer clear so you don't become embroiled. If you can't do anything practical to help, put it out of your mind - things are just too tender still for you to have to cope with other people's problems. It's the oxygen mask principle - look after yourelf, otherwise you won't be able to look after yourself.

lionheartedgirl wrote: »

I feel like it's something I should celebrate

Indeed it is!

lionheartedgirl wrote: »

I think I am going to plan another trip back to Bath for my non-wedding anniversary ... then that has to be A Good Thing

And what a great way of celebrating. It will indeed be A Good Thing. In fact, I'd say it is essential. You owe it to yourself! Stop thinking about planning, and just go ahead and book, says I. (Listen to Mother.)

And you have Italy to look forward to. Just a few weeks now, isn't it?

And I am sorry for the loss of your ex-uncle-in-law.

Souk08

Lovely lady, you have come so far in this year. Definetely do something lovely for your non anniversary. My friend called her wedding off and went to India instead of seeing out her non hen night and non wedding day here. She siad that out there it really didnt matter and she came back a lot more sorted.

Enjoy X

lionheartedgirl

Thanks Wordsmith, such wise words, thank you.

On the ex fiance issues (will call him XF now I think because it's getting too complicated with ex fiance and ex hubs who will be XH! although my friend at work has another nickname for XF which is hilarious) I would normally wade in and spend a lot of energy helping others, but haven't felt able/inclined to in any way this time.

the chat with Mr P - hadn't heard much over the weekend but had a text on Monday asking if I was home for a chat later, and sure enough he rang! :eek: I'm back to hoping it will happen, but feel a lot more chilled out about it. I am always going to be hyper sensitive to people who don't do exactly what they say when they say they will do it, at least for a while. Will see what, if anything, he comes up with. I will be planning to thoroughly enjoy myself at the approaching wedding regardless of Mr P worryings :rotfl: so who knows what might happen

I can't book anything definite for August until I have some more gigs in the bag/cash in the bank, but am mulling over remaining holiday days from work and when to take them, so it's definitely in the planning. Souk, I remember you saying on my old thread about your friend going to India. Looking back, I wish I had taken more time over it. Carrying on regardless isn't always the best strategy but I guess we get through it how we feel is appropriate at the time - felt embarrassed and didn't want to take time off work for what outwardly would have seemed quite trivial. My boss was and is very understanding, but only as long as it doesn't affect work.

feeling a bit mehhh today but that's because I ate too many doughnuts to cheer myself up after trip to the osteopath I am so sensitive to sugar in terms of mood. Had a very argumentative day at work - ah the power of email. But was very assertive and brave and actually used the words "let me finish please" for the first time ever at work. Worked a charm with someone who was being extremely aggressive!

It's cinema night tonight, but it's a film about relationships over time so not sure I am up to that at the moment, and I am tired and have had 2 busy days already this week with more to come. So am going to skip it this month, and stay home and cuddle the dog and watch the Apprentice (and channel hop to the TT, although there was no racing today to watch so it will probably be a load of repeated stuff).

I had a harp lesson last night, it went well so I was pleased with that. I'm back to looking forward to Italy again - will be nice to have some time to work on the things that I really need to improve - things like my posture, the way I move my hands and fingers - and my feet too as big harps have pedals to worry about too I will get a little bit of practice done tonight but not tooo much as the osteopath has been busy on my elbows...and my neck today, yeuuucccchhh.

another work from home day tomorrow, hopefully a little less confrontational :rotfl:

lionheartedgirl

morning all,

sad day today. having had an awful morning with a very distressing trip to the vets for both me and the dog, he is having his last trip to the vet's tonight :(

he has had a slightly paralysed larynx (age related) which has been getting worse over the last few weeks, causing him to breathe very heavily when he goes for a walk or gets excited in any way - this morning it was really bad and rang to get a vet appointment. they had one for 9am so bundled him into the car - he hadn't quite calmed down after his walk, got himself into a right state and by the time we were at the end of the road he was even worse. we carried on to the vets and I ran in to get them to come out to him as he panics even more when he goes in normally - the floor is shiny and slippy and he won't lie down on it because it's hard and he falls on the way down. even taking a blanket for him to lie on doesn't really work.

so the vet nurse came out, followed by the vet. he had a steroid injection to relax his muscles to help him calm down, and we waited for ages under the tree on the grass while his breathing slowed down a bit. I had rung XH to tell him things were really awful in the car, and rang again when I got to the vet, and again when the vet had been out. Finally he has agreed to the inevitable and so the dog is being put to sleep this evening so XH can come after work and I can have a nice day with the dog in the garden.

it isn't the last day I would have wanted for him, he was in an awful state this morning - I won't go into details as it isn't nice to think about or read. But he is snoozing now, we have bacon for his lunch and I am meeting XH plus his stepdaughter and wife at the vets so stepdaughter can say goodbye. She is 4 but I think it's important for her to see him, my mum had my dog put to sleep when I was 6 and she didn't tell me it was happening, so I came home to an empty house and didn't know why. SD will then go off elsewhere with her mum while me and XH go in with the dog.

I am working today (well, trying) but have booked tomorrow off. Mum is coming over later, I may go over there but not sure yet.

One thing is for sure though, I will start the hunt for a new dog sooner rather than later. I can't bear the thought of not having a greyhound at home and if my lifestyle has to change to accommodate, then that's what will have to happen.