Real Life MMD: Should I ask for the cash back?

135

Comments

  • raddyantic
    raddyantic Posts: 43 Forumite
    warehouse wrote: »
    Bit of a silly question really. Do you think anyone is going to say "forget the money" on a money saving forum?

    I actually was going to say forget the money! To be fair I've said it on these boards before when it's been over something nominal/trivial/or indeed from a while ago. And I was going to say the same here, but like someone said on here its not a £5/£10 which I would probably say forget it - its £20 this time. And this dilemma does happen quite a lot actually, and leaves you a bit irked (especially if you’ve organised the pressie) when someone name is on he card when they haven’t contributed a penny.

    I wouldn’t take the route some people have suggested here saying you’re really short and need to pay a bill - it smacks of begging. Also texting prob not great idea – what if they don’t respond? I think best way as 'SpaceMagic' has suggested (and dont leave it too long) is to casually mention it face to face over coffee 'Hey have you got that £20 you were gonna give us for Jo's present?'.

    Also fully agree with a lot of people if the friend then gets the hump over £20 that they were supposed to give you anyway, then it would be fair to conclude that…at thwe risk of sounding dramatic and thinking that they are not a ‘true’ friend, is to simply think…I always thought they were a bit of a n*b anyway! J
  • PPPingu
    PPPingu Posts: 104 Forumite
    If you think that she might get difficult when you ask for the money wait until you are out for dinner or something together with other friends (arrange something if you don't have anything planned soon) and when the bill comes just casually say "Oh, remember you still owe me £20 for so-and-so's birthday so can you put that in for me/pay for mine as that's probably easiest for you" There's no way she can say anything or get annoyed at you in that situation.
  • CLGoggin
    CLGoggin Posts: 11 Forumite
    if you guenuinely find it hard to bring that sort of thing up, then wait until you next go shopping with her and pick something up that you want and say "oooh, i really want this... actually, you owe my £20 from that birthday present the other week so come on, let's go to the till and you can put it towards this pretty dress...!" she can't really say no and then the conversation can continue on how lovely the dress is rather than the money. Honestly, if she's prepared to do you out of £20 purposely, she's not a very good friend so i'm sure it would be fine.

    On the flip side, it's ok to find this kind of thing difficult to deal with - money is a difficult issue, however much it is!

    hope it turns out ok x
  • sarks
    sarks Posts: 55 Forumite
    All this faffing over how to say it and when to say it and buying dresses/meals for the friend to put towards it, I think I'd just end up feeling more resentful than ever going to all that trouble. If you really can't bring yourself to ask your friend face to face then send a text, don't prevaricate, just ask for your £20 that your friend very very clearly owes you.
    TANSTAAFL - unless you have a voucher for said lunch from MSE :D
  • if she's not mentioned the money cause she's forgotten then fair enough, remind her, she'll pay and its done and dusted. If she's not mentioned it cause she's a tight bottom, then she's not much of a friend anyway for letting you pay her share anyway with no intention of paying you back.
  • Yes, she should pay you the money. You should not have to pay twice as much and it's irrelevent that she didn't go to the party.
    You need to ask her sooner rather than later.
    How about ' Have you got that money you owe me for the present, she was really touched that we all chipped in together'....................Easy
  • bogwart
    bogwart Posts: 117 Forumite
    If she considers the friendship to be worth less than £20 you're not risking anything. Ask her anyway, and if she gets narky about it, tough. Why should you pay her bills?
  • spursliz
    spursliz Posts: 38 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    Of course you should get the money off your friend. He/she agreed to pay, you can easily say something like "I'm sure you've just forgotten, but I put in £20 for you for so-and-so's present. I'd be glad to have the money from you". You should get the cash at once - that's what friends do, isn't it?
  • tallgirld
    tallgirld Posts: 484 Forumite
    First Anniversary
    Yes ask for it. If she gets upset about it then she has a cheek!!

    If she doesn't pay just tell the friend who received the present that YOU contributed for her coz she's a cheap so and so!!
  • Amba_Gambla
    Amba_Gambla Posts: 12,107 Forumite
    First Post Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    Ah ha, just reminded me, my brother still owes me for Dad's birthday present!
    Thanks
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