Real Life MMD: Should I ask for the cash back?

Former_MSE_Lee Posts: 343 Forumite
edited 15 April 2011 at 4:31PM in MoneySaving polls
Should I ask for the cash back?

I recently threw a party for my friend and a few of us decided put in £20 each and buy a joint present. I had to put the money in for one of my friends as I couldn't get it off her in time and she said she'd pay me at the party. However, she didn't turn up as she was ill, and never mentioned the money again when I next saw her. The card was still signed with her name, so the friend we had the party for thinks she was in on it. Should I ask her for the money and risk losing her friendship?
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  • Niggy_G
    Niggy_G Posts: 58 Forumite
    It's a bit of a no-brainer this one. Your friend agreed to put in, you shouldn't be out of pocket. Your friend not turning up to the party is irrelevent.

    No offence intended, but, looking at this from an outsiders view, if your worried about risking 'losing her friendship' over such a trivial thing then your either insecure or your friend isn't a great friend.
  • ironlady2022
    ironlady2022 Posts: 1,544
    Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    Agree with the above. If you don't wanna do it face to face text her. Say something like, 'Just got my credit card statement (LIE if you don't use it) and need to pay the bill off in full, I know you couldn't give me it that day as you were ill. If you want to do it by internet banking, let me know'. Short and sweet, you are not giving her an option.
  • redglass_2
    redglass_2 Posts: 771 Forumite
    Agree with the last two! There shouldn't be any risk of losing someone's friendship over something this straightforward. If the boot were on the other foot, would YOU throw a tantrum and stop being friends? Thought not. The only thing that might give me pause is if your friend felt a lot of pressure on her and was 'roped in' to contributing, but even so, she should have said no, rather than promise to pay and then let you carry the can.
    'Whatever you dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin now.' Goethe

  • Until I went and checked the details, I was almost sure the question was the other person refered to in last weeks MMD
    A contractor I work with had a birthday last week. A junior colleague had a small celebration, bought a cake and a gift. I wasn't in the office on the day this took place. I'm now being asked for a £5 contribution.
    In answer, we get situations like this at uni all the time. It's probably slipped your friends mind. Just ask her!
  • DurhamGrad
    DurhamGrad Posts: 13 Forumite
    At the risk of sounding like a sheep, I agree with the others.

    Just send a quick txt saying you've just got your credit card bill and need to pay it off in full otherwise you'll end up out of pocket (because you'll be charged interest) and is there chance she can drop by with the cash or transfer it into your bank account asap?

    This is far from an unreasonable request. If she's a friend, she won't have a problem with it. If she's a !!!!!!!!!!, then she needs to be called to account.

    Let us know the outcome.
  • DurhamGrad
    DurhamGrad Posts: 13 Forumite
    why was the word f-r-e-e-l-o-a-d-e-r blanked out of my last post??
  • _nate
    _nate Posts: 96
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    She might have forgotten, for all you know. Just mention it; if you really think you might lose your friendship over it, something is wrong.
  • yvonne13_2
    yvonne13_2 Posts: 1,955
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Don't tell any lies jusy say "Have you got that £20 quid!" and she will more than likely say "aww I forgot".
    My friend's try that rubbish all the time, so I have learnt how to handle them.
    For example we are going to Alton towers for easter break and they have asked me to drive. They have already said they will give me £5 each for petrol (there will be 4 of us going) I never said a word. I will drive straight to the petrol station and fill the tank then stretch out my hand asking them to dig deep.
    They will see how much I have put in and understand it has to be split 4 ways, and the same will happen on our way back. Any problems the doors not locked.
    It's better to regret something I did do than to regret something that I didn’t. :EasterBun
  • If people ask you to pay and then don't repay you, I wouldn't count them as friends at all. I really hate it when people do this, I'm not prepared to accept being "ripped off" by a so called friend.
  • I would just say to her: 'I'm really sorry to have to ask, but I'm short this month, and I never got that £20 off you for X's bday pressie...' - I know my friends would be mortified if they thought they had done me out of £20... if you're friends then there is no problem :)
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