Nearly 30, in debt, lost and nervous! I need to change.

Eager_Elephant

Wow Lost - you have been posting a lot lately - I have only just caught up.

It's brilliant that you are ready to make some changes for the better even when you don't have lots of support.

I think I might have posted before to say that my DH has depression and has done for 17 years (and he is only 33:eek:) so although I have never suffered myself I think I have a very good insight into it.

If something does not go right, instead of DH thinking of a way round it to still get a good outcome he will sulk, act all moody, and then take himself off to bed so he doesnt have to think about it and often goes on and on about how crap he is etc etc.
Then I get involved and we discuss it and I come up with ideas of how to resolve it and he feels better but then he will often say things like 'I wish I was as perfect as you' but I know it is his depression talking.

Depression is such an awful thing and actually thinking about positives is such a hard thing to do.

I just wanted to let you know that I am still lurking and am interested in what you have to say.

I can't always come on every day but I will post when I can.:T

robberbutton

Hi lost and nervous, have just read some of your diary. I think you have a great attitude about being more positive, I hope posting here helps. I've just started on these boards and I suffer from depression too. Mine takes the form of feeling like there are lead weights tied to my arms and legs - at least one day a week I just spend slumped on the sofa which then makes me feel SO guilty. But am finally (hopefully) getting some therapy on the NHS, and feeling more motivated to sort out the finances. Hope things get better for both of us

Lost_and_nervous

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

Wow Lost - you have been posting a lot lately - I have only just caught up.

It's brilliant that you are ready to make some changes for the better even when you don't have lots of support.

I think I might have posted before to say that my DH has depression and has done for 17 years (and he is only 33:eek:) so although I have never suffered myself I think I have a very good insight into it.

If something does not go right, instead of DH thinking of a way round it to still get a good outcome he will sulk, act all moody, and then take himself off to bed so he doesnt have to think about it and often goes on and on about how crap he is etc etc.
Then I get involved and we discuss it and I come up with ideas of how to resolve it and he feels better but then he will often say things like 'I wish I was as perfect as you' but I know it is his depression talking.

Depression is such an awful thing and actually thinking about positives is such a hard thing to do.

I just wanted to let you know that I am still lurking and am interested in what you have to say.

I can't always come on every day but I will post when I can.:T

Hello thank you so much for popping in its lovely to see you. What your DH is going through, the moods etc that is/was me. He has such wonderful support from you, and its lovely that you can think of ways to help him. It must be very hard on you too. But what a wonderful person you are.

Thank you so much for supporting me too xxx

Lost_and_nervous

robberbutton wrote: »

Hi lost and nervous, have just read some of your diary. I think you have a great attitude about being more positive, I hope posting here helps. I've just started on these boards and I suffer from depression too. Mine takes the form of feeling like there are lead weights tied to my arms and legs - at least one day a week I just spend slumped on the sofa which then makes me feel SO guilty. But am finally (hopefully) getting some therapy on the NHS, and feeling more motivated to sort out the finances. Hope things get better for both of us

Hello and thank you for reading my diary, its lovely you have taken the time. Thank you and yes posting on here certainly helps me. Its my escape where I can be me. I am glad you have help through NHS, it should help you feel so much better. Feeling motivated is one of those hard things isnt it when you are feeling down but you know deep down what you need to do and its that important big step that you need to take forward.

I hope things get better for both of us too xx

Lost_and_nervous

Life is one big rollercoaster. I feel like I have done a u turn down the 'down road' but then I did an emergency stop when I realised and spun round again back on the 'positive road'.

When things dont seem to be going to plan or something gets in the way of my routine it makes me feel really down and confused. But I have found my positivity again and am getting myself back to normal.

I am looking for a hobby for me, something I can loose myself in in the evening with the view of making some extra money if I can. I am looking into making jewellery, I enjoy creating and feel this would be a good enjoyable route to go down. Me and DD are going to go for a walk tomorrow so am going to go have a look in the craft shops and also online for ideas/inspirations and see if its something thats worth doing. I need something to do of an evening when DD is in bed, something I feel I could gain from. OH has his hobbies, I have nothing really that I can 'loose myself in'.

Ebay has been a little slow on my behalf, but am putting that down to feeling down. Its ok I will get there.

Positive thinking is the key, I am there with the wanting of a clutter free home, tranquil place which works and the want for a better financial situation. It all takes time, I know this. But its a working progress and I will get there in the end. xx

Lost_and_nervous

What a beautiful day it is and I am back to my little productive self but not stressing. Just taking it easy. I have washed 3 things which well one of them I have been meaning to do for over 3 years, it was something which I bought which I was going to wear when I was small, and put it in the washing basket as its hand wash only to freshen it up as was bought 'used' and never getting round its just sat there. Well today I have freshened it up along with a couple of other bits.

I am now working focusing on lots of little bits and trying to not to overload. I am healthy eating which is helping me feel better, and positive thinking is continuing. I just want to succeed.

So whats in store for me for the weekend, quality time with OH and DD, and the all important continuing with the hard work and completing lots of little tasks to work towards the one big achievement.

Lost_and_nervous

So clearing out a cupboard today I have realised that I have spent far too much money, as a couple we spend far too much money and what has triggered this off - my obsession for keeping carrier bags - because you never know when your going to need them. What a load of rubbish! So sitting here surrounded by carrier bags has made me realise that things do need to change and actually having a home that works, a wardrobe that works and general organisation and using everything we have instead of impulsive amounts of stuff that we have all because our want for quantity instead of quality really doesn't work for me now. All because of a few hundred carrier bags I have come up with this conclusion!

And then there's the lightbulbs issue, the 34 light bulbs none of which are energy saving, all high voltage and most of them are for lamps lights we no longer have. To be honest I only have 24 light bulbs in this house so why do I have 34 spare... Yet again another impulse!

And then there's the issue of cleaning products, why have I got so many in my cupboard when I mostly use washing up liquid for sides etc? So out gone most of that as well!

I sit here and wonder how I got in all this mess in the first place but honestly dwelling on the past, is it going to get me anywhere, no its not! What I need to focus on is the future and how I am going to make changes for the future! To better my situation.

kelpie35

You have 9 free listing days to get rid of your excess stuff.

Keep going ............. you will get there

Lost_and_nervous

I have been busy sorting my head out and working out a new way of working in life! Having structure seems to be the only way I will achieve anything so yet another notebook, my faithful diary and a blue pen! Breaking my day down into my tasks I need to do to ensure I can keep on top of certain things then have a to do list for all the bits that I need to do that week and then breaking tasks down into manageable time slots setting an alarm to let me know when done with that so I can move on to the next to avoid getting bored, making a meal out of it and feeling bogged down.!

I have quiet a bit of overtime I need to do which I am happy about. Getting bits done today so can start of fresh tomorrow for my new way of working to ensure I can keep my overtime and keep on top.

I need to succeed and really make the most of each day. I have quiet a few ideas of what I want to do to try to make extra money! All I need to do is put it into action!

beverleyhills

L&N
How are you? Haven't seen a post from you for a while.
Beverleyhills