Nearly 30, in debt, lost and nervous! I need to change.

girlatplay

That is all fantastic news Lost :j (apart from ebay logging you out :mad:)

No one knows what is going to happen in the future. When I had my LBM I took out a loan to consolidate my debts (I know that is not recommended but it worked for me) and I had 6 years to pay it back. I am four and a half years down the line and things have changed so much since then. I am looking to pay off my loan early now. Any extra money you get from overtime or ebay etc can either go towards you and DD or you could put some aside separately to go towards early pay off (I'm not sure how a DMP works exactly). At least you will be able to relax a bit knowing that you have some sort of control back.

That is great that you have been invited to one of the mums with DD Remember, you don't have to explain your life story Have a lovely time there. It is not sad at all to be excited. Why do you think it is sad? It is great!! You deserve some excitement and happiness.

Glad you had a chance to chat to OH. Communication is the key (that will be written on my gravestone!!!). Talk regularly with him.

Your light at the end of the tunnel is just around the corner

Take care.

Gap xxx

ebayqueen_2

Well done Lost. You have made the decision that suits you. Enjoy the trip to the other mam and just keep your business to yourself and have a good general chat. It took me a long time to learn not to tell people too much ... so I hope you don't think I am being cheeky in advising you. I cringe now when I think back to how vulnerable I was but things have changed and I am a different person.

Keep us all up to date with your new DMP. How do you go about it?

God bless
E

mummytogirls

Awwww Lost I am so glad you have made this decision and you feel fab about it, well done you :T.

What happens now then do they write to everyone on your behalf and you dont have to speak to them ever again? When does your first payment etc go out?

Bless you feeling happy that you were going to meet up with a local mum. Ive met some lovely friends in the area through playgroups etc xxx

Lost_and_nervous

girlatplay wrote: »

That is all fantastic news Lost :j (apart from ebay logging you out :mad:)

No one knows what is going to happen in the future. When I had my LBM I took out a loan to consolidate my debts (I know that is not recommended but it worked for me) and I had 6 years to pay it back. I am four and a half years down the line and things have changed so much since then. I am looking to pay off my loan early now. Any extra money you get from overtime or ebay etc can either go towards you and DD or you could put some aside separately to go towards early pay off (I'm not sure how a DMP works exactly). At least you will be able to relax a bit knowing that you have some sort of control back.

That is great that you have been invited to one of the mums with DD Remember, you don't have to explain your life story Have a lovely time there. It is not sad at all to be excited. Why do you think it is sad? It is great!! You deserve some excitement and happiness.

Glad you had a chance to chat to OH. Communication is the key (that will be written on my gravestone!!!). Talk regularly with him.

Your light at the end of the tunnel is just around the corner

Take care.

Gap xxx

Thank you so much, you have done so well, this is the great thing about this site, its full of different stories, different things work for different people and you have done really well! And that is great news that you are looking to pay your loan off early. That is fantastic.

I think its sad cause for some people its just normal to go round for a cuppa to friends, but I havent done it for so long.

I do hope the light is at the end of the tunnel for me! Thank you xxx

Lost_and_nervous

ebayqueen wrote: »

Well done Lost. You have made the decision that suits you. Enjoy the trip to the other mam and just keep your business to yourself and have a good general chat. It took me a long time to learn not to tell people too much ... so I hope you don't think I am being cheeky in advising you. I cringe now when I think back to how vulnerable I was but things have changed and I am a different person.

Keep us all up to date with your new DMP. How do you go about it?

God bless
E

I dont think your being cheeky advising me, I think its lovely and I am so grateful for your help and advice! You have done so good and its so lovely to hear how far you have come.

I will do, will update down below.

Thank you xxx

Lost_and_nervous

mummytogirls wrote: »

Awwww Lost I am so glad you have made this decision and you feel fab about it, well done you :T.

What happens now then do they write to everyone on your behalf and you dont have to speak to them ever again? When does your first payment etc go out?

Bless you feeling happy that you were going to meet up with a local mum. Ive met some lovely friends in the area through playgroups etc xxx

Thank you so much for your kind words. I will update down below.

Thats really good you have met some lovely friends in the area, thats a good thing to know!! xxx

Lost_and_nervous

I had a lovely time with the mum yesterday, just chatted about normal parenting things, it was really nice the kids played lovely, DD really enjoyed it and we are going to do it again next week sometime. I felt like a human being again. And 'my life' didnt come out once.

I woke up this morning to an email from CCCS regarding my DMP - they have sent me all the forms I need to complete the DMP, what will happen is I send them wage slip or proof of income, statements of my debts and complete the direct debit mandate and then they set everything up with my creditors and they pay them every month. I will be paying them £74 a month then they split it between my creditors and send me a monthly statement to tell me where its gone. I need to just let my creditors know this is what I am doing.

So today I need to round up all the information, print off the forms and get them in the post. I am so positive about this. I just need to keep them informed of my situation.

I just hope it all goes to plan. I really do. xxx

girlatplay

Lost_and_nervous wrote: »

I think its sad cause for some people its just normal to go round for a cuppa to friends, but I havent done it for so long.

Oh well we can be saddos together then It's not often I go round for a cuppa to friends

There is no reason why it shouldn't go according to plan. Just stay as positive as possible and remember you are doing what is best for DD and you and no one can ask for more than that.

Take care

xxx

Slowdown

Well.well! Huge steps.
I think you may have to change your name to "notsolostandnervous"
I can almost feel your confidence and independence growing by the day, and as I have been reading this thread since Day1 I'm incredibly impressed by your resistant nature and ability to bounce back time and time again.
I could go through and list your achievements to demonstrate how far you have come but that would now take rather a long time. I think you are now beginning to realise it for yourself and that's what counts.
It sounds like you have found yourself some friends amongst the other mums and that is great. Take the advice of others and choose carefully who you want to share personal details with. It's tempting to tell your innermost secrets to people in order to gain support and understanding but it doesn't always work like that and you end up regretting it. That's not to say you have to lie but remember the people on this site have no reason to judge you, can offer support and encouragement and have no alterior motive. People you mix with on a light social basis may have reason to 'share' your words with others and information can inadvertantly undermine you. Enjoy your friends and you may find one or two of them become close enough in time for you to be able to confide in them like you do here.
Well done with sorting out your DMP and getting those stressful phonecalls off your back. 6 years seems like a long time now but it won't in five years time!
You are an inspiration to others in the same boat (and there are many of them) as well as being an inspiration to those of us who are not.
With my greatest respect
Slowdown:)

mummytogirls

Hope you got the forms all sorted and posted lost xx