how do other mums to little ones manage?

Older_but_not_wiser_2

black-saturn wrote:

Imagine how difficult it is who don't have a OH. We have to endure all that on our own and sit on our own all evening day after day.

:rotfl: :rotfl:

I'm in that situation at the moment (but only for a couple of weeks as my wife has had to go home to South Africa - her mum is dying ) and I have every sympathy with those that deal with it on a full time basis.

Our two are, ds - 2 1/2, dd - 15 months, and they can be a handful. Usually we work as a team when I'm at home, but I work shifts so every 2nd week my wife is at home in the evenings on her own with the kids, and I can appreciate that if that were the case on a long term basis that you would go crazy, or at the very least pine for some adult company.

I'm in a very fortunate situation that all our neighbours and friends have offered to babysit during this time, and if I really wanted to, could have been out every night (as it is, I haven't taken anyone up on the offer yet).

As for housework, I find that I can generally fit it in round the kids, as they play together quite well for their age, although having laminate flooring means that it's got to be in the evenings after bedtime before it gets washed.

I'm up around 7am, and don't really get to relax until about 7.30-8.00pm, so I can appreciate that single parents have a hard time (even couples if they don't pull together)

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I have every respect for people who have children and try to do the best for them.

cobbingstones

Hi to you all,

Would love the idea of structured classes but find that you need to pay per term. I also find them expensive (what isn't where I live?) But I shall purseavere(sp) and see

I would like to take this opportunity to say thanks to you all for all your ideas and for sharing your experiences. Your all amazing:A

Tx

Aril

One of the other posts has reminded me....on a really bad day I used to threaten to take my son to the baby changing room and change him for another nicer one....BAD MOTHER:D Thank goodness he was really tiny and didn't understand what I was on about! Anyway it used to make me feel better!!
Aril

black-saturn

stilernin wrote:

Point taken... although you can have another half and still sit on your own all evening etc etc... but that's another story

No longer bitter and twisted now though .... !!:D

Point taken there. I've done that too :rolleyes:

pigpen

stilernin wrote:

Point taken... although you can have another half and still sit on your own all evening etc etc... but that's another story

That's me this evening.. except my boy is 15 and won't shut the F*** up blithering on a load of tosh.

Hubby will be home when he gets here, by which time I'll be in bed because I am shattered! His dinner is dead in the oven and even the cat won't eat it! This happens at least 3 nights a week. .. Mondays I leave him!

I don't mind IF I know about it.. it really pee's me off though when I am waiting for him to come home and he doesn't. At least if he was living elsewhere I'd never experience that one.. I do prefer knowing I'm going to be on my own of an evening, and I do in fact rather enjoy it most of the time.

cobbingstones

Pigpen - I also have a 17 year son....just don't get me started on that one.............

T

hollydays

ahhh....I think all Mums are so undervalued.it can be so hard..but one day all the jigsaw pieces fit into place.......MUMS are the best..remember that!! dads are fab too!! mums just blame themselves too much.

Mics_chick

Sadierhianne wrote:

I dn't get any help from my husband so it is soul destroying - hard work and can often lead to feelings of failure for me.

You don't sound a failure at all to me :T sounds like you've got your priorities right! One thing that sprang to mind - if you're dh won't help with housework why don't you get him to cough up for monthly cleaner instead! Sounds like the least he could do to me and long overdue too!!

furndire

A thin layer of dust doesn't look any better than a thick one so why worry about dusting - your kids are only little for such a short while, enjoy them, sod the housework, the dust will still be there when you are long gone.
Learn by your mil's mistakes, if you have a son, do not treat him any differently to your daughters, your future dils will love you for it in years to come.

Mics_chick

benbenandme wrote:

Its not helped by my ex who delights in telling me he thinks I'm a cr*p mother (but then I didnt walk away and give up on ds did I?) and my mother who doesn't believe its right to go to work when you have kids and makes constant reminders of this. I would love to be able to afford not to go to work but life isnt like that is it?

First of all, give yourself a pat on the back because you deserve it :T - you're doing the best for yourself and your son and don't let anyone tell you different!

Secondly, I would think of something to say to your ex and your mum and everytime they make a comment you say the same statement. When they say "stop saying that you're always saying that" you reply "No I always say this when you say something like that - you stop making comments like that and I'll stop saying this!". It doesn't have to be anything rude or offensive but it will work - try it!