how do other mums to little ones manage?

shelley1977

im a single mum of 5 and find it nearly impossible to keep on top of everything,i cook from scratch as my eldest is hyperactive and suffers alot when he eats something with chemical colouring,flavouring etc and its healthier and cheaper,or so i find.i tend to prioritise spending time with the children and cooking first,then things like the washing and doing the dishes and hoovering.the rest gets done when i can.i usually clean the bathroom and put away washing while the little 2 are in the bath,sort of 2 in 1 really.i am going to try harder to plan meals rather than panicing when the children come in as to what im going to feed them.

pigpen

Having been a SAHM for the last almost 17 years I can say I couldn't imagine doing anything else!

The 'daily jobs' are done by 10 am most days.. sometimes even before we are out the door to school.

I used to take the children to toddler groups and such like.. my youngest is at nursery now and hasn't been to a toddler group since she was about a year old.. the Surestart ones were awful.. the children were thugs, the parents.. well.. stereotypical.. council estate parents.. I tried 4 of their groups and they were a free-for-all it was not a pleasant environment for small children.. or me.. The council withdrew funding for most of the smaller pleasant TG's when Surestart opened because they reckoned they should be filling that gap but for some parents and children that wasn't the case. I am aware that paragraph makes me sound like a right snob.. I'm not.. I lived on a council estate for most of my life.. and there were some lovely people.. just they never went to the TG's either for the same reasons I didn't! When parents are discussing how many joints they smoked the night before I realised this was not the place for me... so we stayed at home. I think it is about finding somewhere that is right for you and you family.. trial and error.. but I do also think you need to go a few times to the same one before you can say yes or no. I went to the church toddler group for a while.. 6 months I went.. every week.. there were around 30 other mums/carers (no dads.. ever) there and not once did anyone speak to me.. I know I am odd.. but I'm not THAT odd.. and the worst thing was hubby and the children had been going to the church for years so I knew most of the people anyway!!! (I did try speaking to them.. they'd just walk away when I was mid-sentence.).. now I'm waffling.. or offloading lol... sorry.

Cleaning.. hhhmmm.. Then.. I did little, as little as possible.. so long as everyone was washed, fed and loved nothing else mattered... Now.. I'd go little and often.. 15 minutes here.. 15 minutes there.. My floor was visible on a good day and the sofa wasn't seen for years!!

I live in a skip.. I've always lived in a skip.. it is my comfort zone I think.. but right now this back room is horrific.. ebay stuff everywhere!!

I never went to play with my lot, if they wanted me to play they invited me over. We do activities together.. I am always here if they need something (DS1 only ever needs money!!).. I am more than happy to drop everything for a hug.. and they know it and make things most difficult sometimes lol. Usually when I am sitting here I have at least 1 child on my lap snuggling.

I love it.. I wouldn't swap it for the world.

moanymoany

Lovely long post just vanished - :mad:

Essence of it was this:

1. children can be overstimulated, give them toys for their ages and leave them to amuse themselves. It is important to encourage self reliance. I limited tele unless I was desperate!

2. my house was small and I now realise it was decluttered. This made cleaning easy - wipe over and vacuum - it took about 3/4 of an hour to do it all.

3. I also had a dishwasher. Tumble drying line dried washing and whipping it out and putting it on hangers while still hot can save you ironing.

4. even back in the 70's and 80's toddler clubs were clicky and I never went.

I found being a sahm and looking after 2 littlies very hard, looking back I realise if I'd relaxed a bit more and not been so uptight and worried I would have been much happier. However, my 2 now adult children are caring and loving to both their own partners and their old mum and dad.

Love is more important than things, encouragement is more important than supervising their every spare moment with doing stuff to 'develop' them iyswim.

Above all - relax. Beans on toast, egg on toast, sandwiches and a yoghourt, fruit - it's all good food. Stop beating yourself up and allow yourself a bit of slack.

moanymoany

lilmisskitkat wrote: »

Hiya all

* Never go up/downstairs without taking something with you eg. toys that belong upstairs, a pile of clean washing from the line up/dirty washing from the basket down etc

Kate xxx

Hey lilmiss - try having a bag or basket at the bottom and top of the stairs. Anything to go up or come down gets chucked in and when you go up or come down pick up the bag and take it with you. It works!

BrandNewDay

CBeebies... lots and lots of Cbeebies...
Also, if you have a garden, fence it securely, child-proof it as best as you can, and boot them outside whenever possible.

Sarahsaver

Never ask your OH to HELP you with chores because that implies that it was entirely your job in the first place

Our sure Start was fine, give it a go and if you don't like it at least you will have tried!

Miss_Kitty_Fantastico

i wondered how everyone was doing.

I continue to struggle with the spend as much time as possible with dd and still have a tidy/clean flat battle.

As she gets older and sleeps less during the day this is getting harder - not helped by the fact that oh is fitting new kitchen himself and to say the place looks like a bomb hit it would be a huge understatement :rolleyes:

however i have treated myself to new tefal 4 in 1 slow cooker with vouchers i got for my birthday (last one cracked) so i'm hoping that will help along with the dishwasher (never had one before :T )

biggest project coming up is the conversion of our loft (subject to planning permission) - we can't afford to move so this will give us more room :j - not sure my sanity will take it though :rolleyes:

hugs to everyone x

Olliebeak

I wouldn't worry about the tidy flat bit too much during the day!

As long as your home is hygienic enough for your little one not to get tummy bugs it's fine. While she's still young, teach her to put one thing away before getting something else out. Try to give her a sense of pride in her own belongings - that way she'll respect her toys/games and other people's property. I can't believe the way my daughter's kids just get stuff out, not even play with it and then just leave it lying around on the floor of the living room - and they are 7 and almost 10! Their cupboards are full of broken items, boxes of games with half the things missing; they have no respect for my daughter's computer and assume the right to use it without asking her permission - and then the fights start about how long each has had on it. No such thing as them having to 'earn' the right to use the comp by behaving and putting other stuff away and respecting the family home! Makes me mad!! Needless to say, it doesn't happen when they're in my home and with my comp - they ask permission and then get told 'yes - for 20 minutes each'.

The 'untidiness' can be dealt with when she's going to bed (by whoever is NOT doing the putting to bed) - by the time she's snoozing your place will then have some semblance of 'order restored'.

Good luck with the renovations/improvements - living with that kind of upheaval can make you feel as though the home is a bit of a tip. But it's only short-lived and bound to be worthwhile when finished.

Miss_Kitty_Fantastico

thanks olliebeak