how do other mums to little ones manage?

Littlebean_2

Whenever GF is mentioned, debates can get heated. People either love her or loathe her. Personally I found her routines to be very useful although I never followed them strictly. I found them to be a very useful guide, particularly in the early days when I never knew what I was supposed to be doing.I've also ordered the time management book as well - I love a good book that makes me feel more organised. Actually putting it into practice is another matter - LOL!

cobbingstones

LOL Jellybean you and me both!!!:o

but hey we have the book.....:T

MM x

boysmum3

I'm going to order the time management book too. Its my New Year Res to utilise my time more successfully!
As for Gina Ford !!!....If you haven't read it - do so when your kids are a bit older - its good for a laugh. No seriously I like some things she says but IMHO if you follow her routine you'll stress yourself out.
But then I have the NCT toddler taming book and still feel out of my depth with my 20 month old!!!! DS1 and 2 were tantrum free toddlers - don't know what I'm doing wrong this time round!!! That child you can hear screaming one end of Tesco to the other.....yep he's mine!!!!!

Mics_chick

pigpen wrote:

Personally I feel the Gina Ford regime is bordering on child abuse, babies need to be loved and cared for when their needs arise and I do not believe in doing anything to quell their need for love and affection and would never in a million years allow a small baby of mine (or anyone elses) to cry unattended for the periods of time she suggests. However, this is not a debate board so I am just expressing MY opinion.. each to their own... but be warned.. if I hear your baby crying, I'll come rescue it!! lol I think GF books are something which need to be taken very lightly and not followed to the letter, it is potentially very damaging to the mother/baby bond and horrific advice for a breastfeeding mother due to lack of stimulation etc.. Tread very carefully and remember baby knows what he needs, not GF. I am definitely a baby-led mum.. their needs are attended, even if that means they want to be cuddled all day.. thank heaven for slings I say!

I took Gina Ford as a reference point when my dd was born 3.5 years ago. I was breast-feeding her but between tea-time and bedtime she wouldn't settle she just constantly seemed to want feeding and then fell asleep on the breast. The worst day was from 4pm to 1am :eek: Other people might say that it's unnatural to feel that way but it really stressed me out.

I had heard of Gina Ford while I was pregnant but didn't buy the book as I was bought/given lots of others. Someone mentioned it again when I was having problems coping with demand feeding so I went straight out and bought it. It was my life-saver - might sound like an exaggeration but that was how it felt at the time! It was definitely a sanity saver at the least... I starting following the routines when she was 3 weeks old by 7 weeks she was sleeping through the night (12 hours!). It wasn't just down to this because I got another piece of advice to feed her with formula for the last bottle at 7pm-ish and I didn't hear from her until after 7am the next day.

When I had her it felt like the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to me and I resent the idea that I chose to follow GF's methods to take alot of my stress away harmed the relationship between me and my dd. If anything the PND I've been suffering for nearly 2yrs since my ds was born has done far more harm to my relationship with both my kids and I would give anything to have back that wonderful feeling I had before he was born. I don't blame my ds for this and I love him and my dd to bits but alot of the time I struggle to get through the day and I wish I could find something to help me with this like GF did then...

Please don't say something like 'each to their own' if you don't really mean it - suggesting that they are doing harm to their child or their bond is unforgiveable in my opinion. Yes - you are entitled to your opinion but not to make others feel bad because they have a different one to yours...

Please don't take what I've said the wrong way because I probably sound more intense than I mean to but that's how I am with anything that gets to me these days - I would just like you to try to understand my point of view and a different way is not necessarily the wrong way.

I sang GF's praises after my dd was born and I know most of my friends read the book because of what I said but I think most of them only followed some of it or disregarded it altogether but that was up to them - I didn't feel any differently about them because they thought it was of no use! In fact I only followed it until I was certain of my routine then I relaxed a little once I knew what I was doing.

JAMIEDODGER

great thread!

i am a single parent and SAHM of 4 children aged 10,8,5 and 2, I also run my own business from home, all i can say is that housework can wait, try and enjoy the time you spend with your little ones,try not to be obsessed with everything staying tidy...they are kids and WILL make a mess:)

i have a huge toy box in the front room and every evening at 6pm all toys get chucked in it and then i hoover:) the front room then looks respectable enough, try and encourage the children to join in helping you,mine help pack orders etc and love helping. talk to them about everythingand anything, sing with them, dance around the front room with them they are so little for such a short time!

you will never regret ditching the housework over playing together with your children!

ps.......yes i am up writing this at 5am (the house is silent all babes are still asleep:) im in bed with cuppa and laptop....am i mad? probably lol)

kscour

I wasted so much time when mine were little beating myself up for not being "good enough". Life with kids is always going to be a juggling act just do what makes you & them happy and enjoy every precious moment!

full-time-mum

Sorry, can't help as I am totally like you. All I can say is stop beating yourself up about it all and chill out a bit and remember the poem - I think it goes like this.

I hope that my child when he looks back on today
remembers a mother who had time to play
so hush now cobwebs, dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby 'cos babies don't keep

Pin it up somewhere prominent so it reminds everyone why your house isn't spotless.

Mermaid

Sometimes you labour over a meal for hours and it still gets rejected. Yesterday I managed to get my two to eat everything I put in front of them for their lunch. How did I achieve this? Was it by rustling up some gormet treat? No! I simply put their lunch (cheese & ham sandwiches) into the sandwich toaster for a change. When this got wolfed down I made a banana and jam toastie, which went down the same way. Just goes to show, sometimes a small change can make a big difference.

Mind you today neither was interested in roast beef dinner that I'd spent so much time over...

Love,

Mermaid

cha97michelle

Well Charlie had his jab today so that means we can now go to the playgroups, so i'll start looking into these so we can go to one in the new year.

I've found the debate on GF interesting. I've got her book too, after a friend at work highly recommended it. I have been following her times as a guideline because they vaguely fit into our day, but Charlie needs to sleep and eat more than she says for a child of his age.

I also find it very hard to leave bubs crying, but i am usually laid in bed next to him and there is nothing wrong with him, and me holding him doesn't stop the crying either.

the nurse who gave him his jabs today held him for me while we were in the drs as he was grizzly and she could see i was shattered. All the health workers do that, so it must be a high level of grizzling and not me over exagerating.

thank god its xmas so that the family will be off work and i will be able to get a bit more help, and some me time.

hope everyone else is doing ok today.
Michelle

abbecer

To the OP. You have my sympathy. Your post could have been written by me. I feel guilty if i don't do things with my boys but i feel guilty if i don't do jobs that need doing. Some days i have really good days but most are unorganised chaos. Main thing is my boys are happy but i would like to be more in control. Hang in there it will get better, so everyone says.

Rebecca x