how do other mums to little ones manage?

jpwhittle

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL MY LITTLE ONE IS 13 MONTHS AND I FEEL IM STILL NOT GETTING ANYWHERE. I WANT TO PLAY WITH HIM AND GIVE HIM ATTENTION AND FEEL IM NOT DOING ENOUIGH. I FEEL I DONT PLAY WITH HIM ENOUGH THEN CANT MANAGE TO COOK PROPERLY THEN CANT CLEAN THE HOUSE AND FEEL IM NO NEARER TO GETTING SOMEWHERE THAN I WAS THIS TIME 13MONTH AGO.

sorry for shouting husband left caps lock on

wurley

madsmum wrote:

Hi all

Sorry if i'm on the wrong board - pls remove if so.

I have recently become a stay at home mum to a 2 year old and a 9 month old and I'm really not doing well

I either spend all day cleaning and then feel awful for not giving them enough attention. I can't seem to cook two healthy meals a day and meet their individual needs and stay sane I really want to educate my daughter more and be super mum but I'm failing miserably.

Please let me know your tips/suggestions. What are your routines and how have you found toddler groups etc (mine very clicky) which makes me not go.

T

I found a book about small talk really interesting (Re: clicky) It asked if I actually spoke to anyone there or if I waited for them to speak to me... Made me think. I'm now included as part of the crowd in my toddler group. You've got the best conversation starter.... your kids. I bet you'll find they feel as awkward as you... Go again.
I sooo worry about whether I'm doing well as a mum. I sooo know where you're at!!! https://www.netmums.com is full of mums in the same boat..... I do a ploughmans for lunch and a cooked meal in the evenings (takes the presure off!) stop beating yourself up.

Mics_chick

:beer: Cheers Madsmum - just wanted to say thanks for starting this thread :T - you've obviously hit the spot with lots of people.

I'm surprised by number of newbie posters that have contributed to this thread.
Hello :hello: and welcome :wave: to all of you keep it coming the more views we have the better it is cos hopefully somebody will always have an answer - or at least be able to say I know how you feel... :grouphug:

I've had problems with my kids eating but not to same degree that others seem to be dealing with. Thanks Mermaid for your thoughts and experience on this - you seem quite laid back and down to earth about it. It's difficult to be like this but best to try to be. I think they're showing repeats on BBC3 at the moment of the House of Tiny Tearaways where they seem to deal with problem quite often. It's worth watching if you have this problem. I did use their methods of getting kids used to eat some veg to introduce new veg to my dd - she wouldn't eat peas but now after letting her kiss them and then just eat 1 or 2 - she now says yummy and pops them in like smarties!!

As for health visitors :eek: unless you have a sympathetic one then use them when you need them but let everything else go over your head!!!

chewy62

:j I used to buy those fruit pots and 2 YO loved them, and I tried the vanilla one so I may give them another blast! I think hiding fruit and veg is the only answer and I have to do this with my husband too!
My 2YO will eat a raisin scone but not raisins so I suppose that counts as something!
Does anybody manage to make an evening meal that feeds everybody?

Sarahsaver

Please read Allison Mitchells book time management for manic mums. If you manage your time well you will feel in control.
In recent years there is an obsession with being 'with' your children all the time which is not entirely good for the developing child which needs to explore and find things out for itself. Maybe its because people are failing in other areas and this is borne out of some kind of guilt.
Only do 30 mins housework a day. Set yourself an alarm.
Go out then you wont be messing the house up! there must be some toddler groups or playgroups.
Positive thinking! If you think life is a pile of doo doos it most probably will be. Good luck. I had 3 under 5s as a single parent. Now aged 9, 6 and 5.

hhannahh

chewy62 wrote:

:j I used to buy those fruit pots and 2 YO loved them, and I tried the vanilla one so I may give them another blast! I think hiding fruit and veg is the only answer and I have to do this with my husband too!
My 2YO will eat a raisin scone but not raisins so I suppose that counts as something!
Does anybody manage to make an evening meal that feeds everybody?

If i cook a meal I cook just one meal! put it down infront of dd and thats it now, if she eats it she eats it, if not then it goes in the bin, she gets down from the table and no pudding. I still pull my hair out about it every now and then though!

This morn she has refused all cereal, and wants one of those School Bars instead :rolleyes:

janeloz

I agree with hhannahh, I only cook one meal and always have done, (although I did used to cook them something different if me and hubby were having curry, but now they want that too), and likewise if they eat it then brilliant, if they don't they go hungry, simple as that, and if most of the meal ISN'T eaten then they get no 'afters'. I have never hidden vegetables, just started with small amounts and built up. Perservence is key I think, if you don't give up (however tempting it may be to give in to the tantrums), then eventually they will see you mean business. I truely believe no child will starve themselves, they WILL eat eventually.

Jane.

Lula99

What a fantastic thread!

Just wanted to say that a good way to meet people is to go to the childrens bit of your local library - sometimes they have storytime, or you can just go along and start reading to your kids and soon you'll have an audience! We moved house to a new town when my daughter was 3 and I had to really grit my teeth and go out and find friends as none of the neighbours were SAHMs. I met people in parks, church playgroups and then more people through them. Avoid the competitive mums at all costs!

Lula, SAHM to 5yo and 2yo

boysmum3

Just to say I worked full time after DS1 was born until he was 7 months when relocated and dropped to 20 hours, 2 years later DS2 was born and i went back PT 18 hours, until 7 years later had DS3 - now I work 6 hours a week so am almost a SAHM........HOW DID I EVER WORK MORE HOURS!!!!! I confess i used to think SAHM's had it easy but now i believe all mums should pat themselves on the back for the brilliant job they all do.
I am so lucky that my mum (who lives away) knows just when to tell me I have great kids and I do an excellent job...it keeps me sane!

caseystar

What an amazing thread this is, :T I have 2 children a 5 year old and a 2 year old. Last time my house was spotless was 2001 i refer to it as BK (before kids) its reasonabley tidy i.e you can walk in a straight line from one side of room to the other but with 2 kids a hubby and a dog to have it spotless would be asking for a miracle. We are doing the hardest job in the world 24 hours a day 7 days a week. All we can do is our best and on those days where everything hits the fan, find a partner, a parent or a good friend to give you a well earned break. We are only human, plus kids need an occasional break from us too!!