how do other mums to little ones manage?

joannasmum

Morning

I currently have 1 LO and I also work PT. For the first year I was a SAHM. I kind of approched it like a job. I like routine so I made a plan for every day. I still do now to a certain extent. For example here is a normal Thursday for us

Washing machine on
Breakfast
Tidy round
Washing hung out or on maiden
Shopping followed by trip to park
Lunch (Normally Sandwich or HM soup from freezer)
Nap for DD, Cleaning or Ironing for me
Playtime
DD play on own while I make tea
Tea for DD
Daddy Home
DD bath by daddy, I tidy up again
Take in turns to do story with DD
DD off to bed
We eat tea
Ironing if not done earlier and finally sit down while DH does dishes.

God I'm wacked just looking at that. Thats the plan but it doesnt always work at the moment with Morning/Allday sickness its not working out.

HTH

3KIDSNOMONEY

i am a SAHM, are we a rare species these days. My eldest is now 10 and gradually other people I have got to know with kids have gone back to work and then there is me who still goes to the toddler groups and stays at home. I have always found it very lonely and still do. I can't drive so everything, like taking my youngest swimming, is so much more effort. My house is a tip, even though I clean loads. I really do think that sometimes it is easier to go out to work full time, get someone else to look after your kids, and as a bonus your house doesn't get so untidy. Has anyone gone back to work when their youngest is at school, isn't it difficult with sickness and school holidays, did you feel under pressure to go back to work in case other people thought you were lazy? When I was younger most mums were SAHM's.

cobbingstones

I just want to say a big thank u to you all. You have brought tears to my eyes with your support xxxx

Littlebean_2

I've really enjoyed reading this thread. I am currently at home with my two boys aged 18 months and 7 months. Some days go well and I manage to keep on top of stuff, some days go less well and I feel like I'm doing a rotten job, but usually the good days outnumber the bad. I'm trying to not be so hard on myself and accept that keeping the boys clean, fed, happy (ish) and healthy is my main job. I've learnt to be a lot more organised - flylady tips, menu planning etc and hubby helps out a lot at evenings and weekends. I admit I'm a creature of routine so our days tend to be fairly well planned and this helps to save my sanity I think!

Miss_Money

hello i too am a SAHM and im just gonna offer a hand of support
My DD is 19months old now and being a mother AND running the house is the hardest thing ive EVER done. Im always tired the house is a tip (even though im always cleaning) but the rewards are that i look after DD myself and I get to see her grow up before my eyes (the times going so quickly )
ive kinda got a routine its...
get up at 7am Millie has a hot drink usually milk (or very weak Hotchoc)
7.30 brekki time (i load the ashing machiene and do dishes now)
8am -10 am (part from tues and weds) play time (and cleaning time for me too she helps sometimes!)
10am -12pm nap time i make our lunch at 11.30 ready for 12pm
12pm lunch
1pm Millie and i go out for a walk
3pm telly hour (i clean lkike mad now and tidy stuff away!)
4pm story and reading time
5pm tea time
5.30 bath
6pm bed im very lucky as i have postantal depression im given day care for free on a tues and weds morngins so i can blitz the house then(if im feeling like it!!)
its very hard work but very rewarding and i wouldnt be without her for the world, im thinking of having another but its a scary thought having two :eek: lol MM xx
12pm dinner
10

black-saturn

I echo all the above points. I'm a stay at home mum of 2 girls who are now aged 12 and 9. I work from home so that I am always there for them and I have done since they were born. I can't stress enough how you should not worry too much about the housework. Now when I look back I had an immaculate house and 3 home cooked meals on the table each day when I could have let the housework and cooking go a bit and spent more time with them. You never get that time back.

You could try joining a local group of other mums like the NCT http://www.nct.org.uk/ or MAMA http://www.mama.co.uk/. Or you could do what I did and volunteer to run a parents group at the local playgroup. Once a month they had a night out, there was a babysitting circle and occasionally we had a talk from someone on various subjects (not always to do with children).

3KIDSNOMONEY

Regarding toddler groups, I have tried quite a few and sometimes you can feel very awkward, like everybody else knows each other. my advice is to keep going, if nobody talks to you then fine, your child/children can play and you get out the house for a bit.

I have depression, and have had it since my second child was born, and it can feel like you are the only person. Everybody else seems to have loads of confidence, lots of friends and a full diary. It is hard to feel that you are not alone, why do health visitors, drs, etc. not help us more with support groups? There are lots of people in these situations.

Miss_Money

3KIDSNOMONEY wrote:

I have depression, and have had it since my second child was born, and it can feel like you are the only person. Everybody else seems to have loads of confidence, lots of friends and a full diary. It is hard to feel that you are not alone, why do health visitors, drs, etc. not help us more with support groups? There are lots of people in these situations.

hiya i agree the depression is very hard, when i was diagnosed with my depressionmy doctor gave me tablets which i did take (didnt feel like they did any good) but my health visitor is wonderful she got me in touch with HOMESTART a place for mums and dads to get support at any time they need it. My (not so local group) runs courses ones like confidence courses (which really helps if you have depression) and they pay your taxi or bus fair each way to help you get there and back to motivate you to go. They provide an onsite crech facility too. You meet other people in your situation and realise you arnt alone. Its a great support network. MM xx

Miss_Cinnabon

Hi i used to go to a toddler group near us when elder boys were younger but didnt like it one bit, as prev said it was mums who all knew each other and i felt left out.

At that time i had suffered pnd with firstborn and had it again with second one, thankfully this time i am fine but still feel lonely.

Would be good if there was a support group/thread for sahm as it looks like we have all suffered with the need to get our house looking good as well as looking after kids properly.

I had a surestart nurse in but she gave me no support really, with regards to groups etc, there is not a lot of stuff in area.

Does anyone else feel down as all i seem to do is housework, look after kids and it is all getting me down recently same routine everyday, or is it just me?

Kyle

Miss_Money

kyle wrote:

Does anyone else feel down as all i seem to do is housework, look after kids and it is all getting me down recently same routine everyday, or is it just me?

Kyle

no its me too i feel like ll i do is housework and look after DD i also feel lonely! !!