My home is a mess

Faith177

Hi Soworried

I had depression a few years ago and am just beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel. So if you ever need anything please feel free to give me a shout. One of the things I hated most about being ill was the isolation. You're quite right in the fact that everything feels like a chore. I use to get OH to txt me as he was leaving work so I knew I had 20-30 mins to at least have a wash and get dressed so he wouldn't know how bad I was.

My house went down hill quickly while I was ill so don't beat yourself up over it. Again as Cat said treat each task you do as a mini triumph. Don't focus on what you haven't done focus on what you HAVE done! :jAlso don't feel bad if one day you just can't summon up the energy to do something you did the day before. Treat each day as a new one this is really important.

I have only started on this board recently but the girlies on here are a lovely bunch and they give great moral support! I have really changed in my attitudes since coming on here and I hope you get the same pick me up too.

Just remember having a bad day and you just want to vent you have loads of people here to speak to plus we always like to hear other triumphs (even the ones you might consider tiny). There are NO tiny triumphs

Soworried

I can't thankyou all enough for the welcome and advice.

Since writing those posts I have got dressed. Not to normal standard but clean and clothed. I also went to the shop for coffee.

I don't know if this is the correct way to say it but it is nice to realise I am not the only one. Not that I wish this on anybody.
I feel like I'm a zombie most of time and I am just starting to be able to try and fight this cloud off.
I have gone from giving presentations at board meetings to fearing leaving the house alone and having no motivation to even wash or have a conversation with my family. Half the time they talk to me I don't realise.
I really need to be able to tell them how I am feeling but don't feel ready to. It is like you said Faith177, you don't want to show how bad you are.

Sonastin, I am going to do that. I go to the back door about 3 times a day and look at the mess behind the bin that has built up, leaves etc blowing off the tree. I am going to make myself move even just one shovel full.

bearcub

:T soworried. You'll get there, you really will. <hugs>

Cat501

Good stuff soworried!:T

Interesting what you say about conversations - I find them a huge effort too a lot of the time. Sometimes I can sit in the car with my parents and in my head I'm thinking of things I could say (usually "carp weather again innit?" ) but it's as if I can't summon up the energy to get the words out. It's usually okay because my mum can talk for Scotland and doesn't seem to notice if all she gets in reply is "mmm" or "yeah", sometimes because I haven't actually heard what she's said but mainly because speech is an effort - but it doesn't make you feel very nice does it?

About feeling like a zombie - board mods, this isn't medical advice!!! - but some meds can be SOOO sedating - always worth getting them checked out x

Emm-in-a-pickle

I just want to say Welcome too, Soworried - I would say by joining this board you`ve already taken a major step, just keep posting and reading. Messies DO understand, the folks here (for whatever reasons) have trouble getting motivated to keep on top of things.
Feel free to brag about even the tiniest task you`ve done, we`ll all cheer you on. Also feel free to moan, rant, and even have a laugh, because that helps too.
About this garden of yours....
Is it really SO bad? Weeds are not the end of the world, nor is long grass.
Mine is huge, it was a sea of dandelions earlier on, and that`s fed a lot of pollinators well. I`ve got vicious nettle areas, but the birds found bugs on them that they seemed to find delicious. I love my wild garden, but I still feel it `looks a mess` sometimes, that`s just years of habit...my late hubby used to try to keep it under control, but most years it just ran away with itself, and then he used to say "it`ll all be covered in snow in a few months, then it`ll look just as tidy as next doors". What I do now, is accept it - try to manage a few small patches, and as for the rest, I enjoy the knowledge that it`s a great habitat for all sorts of creatures.

Soworried

Emm, it is really bad. I took sonastins advice and I have so far cleared 1 drain of weeds and shovelled a few scoops of dried leaves. Not a lot but it is a start.

I'm now rewarding myself with a glass of juice

Emm-in-a-pickle

Laurel - I read your post about the Bioflow collar, and have just ordered one from Amazon for my old Daftie-dog. She doesn`t seem to be in pain, but she doesn`t jump and bounce anymore - she lumbers around quite happliy on the flat but she struggles a bit with the stairs now, and she sometimes comes to a stop and waits for the back of my forearm behind her tail, more for moral support than anything, I think...but she still wants to come upstairs at night, Bless her, and they don`t do chairlifts for dogs as far as I `m aware...Daftie needs a new collar anyway, so watch this space!

Messy-wise...
Very little to report.. on the way back from farm shop (new season savoy cabbage, yum!) I went to Lidl, shouldn`t have done that.
Bought a nest of bowls (not that I need bowls, but these are red/orange & cream, and I like them, and the old ones are tatty)
Sorted fridge out, while putting some shopping away.
Sorted a load of paper & cardboard to recycle, only the bin day was yesterday...nipping out for a Lottie ticket in a min (Tax on Optimism!) so will pop them in the little amenity skip by the shops.
Bought DGD a nice top.
Turned the rugs that got launderetted yesterday - they`re hanging over doors, nearly dry now. Regular patches of light drizzle here all day today, so not washing anything else till rugs are dry then stashed in caravan of doom, out of the way.
Early supper & early night tonight, another long shift tomorrow, but off day after so not a marathon stretch.

short_bird

Soworried: one clear drain. Potentially stinky job cleared:D

Emm-in-a-pickle

Soworried - well done Hun!!! I agree keeping drains clear is needful. But I`m serious about the long grass etc., do a bit but don`t fret about the rest.
A start, wherever it is, is the main thing, and you`ve made that start. You are now getting somewhere!(HUGS)xx

Cat - have a lovely holiday, you`ve inspired the Messies recently, you deserve a break!!( And thanks again xxx for telling me about the pong!)

bearcub

Soworried wrote: »

Emm, it is really bad. I took sonastins advice and I have so far cleared 1 drain of weeds and shovelled a few scoops of dried leaves. Not a lot but it is a start.

I'm now rewarding myself with a glass of juice

:T for the first, and the second is a well-deserved reward, I'd say. First baby step - there you go!

Your dog sounds lovely, Emms. I'm just a bit envious.