My home is a mess

helen_jelly

Cat - so very sorry to here the sad news, love and hugs to you and DS, you are both in my thoughts. PM me if you want to chat

Helen x

bearcub

Cat, sorry to hear the sad news. Hugs to you and your son.

Cat501

thank you so much everyone xxx I thought "Lazarus" (his nickname from the hospital staff) would somehow pull through again but it wasn't to be. I really thought I'd get another chance, even just today, to say some things to him He was awful most of the time we were together, but on the other hand we "clicked" like I have with nobody else, really I think he was the only man I ever loved, when it was good it was great, though the love eventually died the more he let me down and lied to me. But that was in the past.

DS is ok and kind of acting like nothing much has happened, but when I told him he looked empty and suddenly much older.:(

Although I'm nearly 40, last night was the first time I've ever seen anyone who has passed away - I've refused before. Yes he looked peaceful - no he didn't look like he was asleep. I found it shocking and frightening really. The absolute stillness shouldn't have shocked me but it did. I couldn't stay long

Have to say the nurses and the doctor were just wonderful, just like when G died. One of the male nurses who'd known him since he got ill sat and held his hand as he passed away. And they are just so wonderful at speaking to the family. Honestly I'd pay these people millions if I was PM. They're absolute heroes to me.

thank you again, so so much xxxx

jacci45

Cat, I understand exactly what you mean about seeing someone who has passed away and I also agree that the staff are heroes and deserve much much more than they get for doing a very very special job. Make sure you take care of yourself and we are all here for you...xxx

Emm-in-a-pickle

Cat - I`m glad you went to see your ex, I`m glad for you, your ex, and your son. Know exactly what you mean about how folks look `peaceful` but not just like they`re `asleep`, it isn`t quite the same...I know this was a first for you ...but every time it happens - thankfully not too often on our ward - it`s still the same feeling for me, and I think it is for most of my colleagues. `Procedure` is just like another bed-bath - but we talk to the person as if they are still aware, still hearing. Sometimes we are GLAD for the patient and their folks, glad for an end to suffering (even if the patient was `out of it` ie not in pain, syringe driver or other symptom control, but watching a family suffer at this stage is a shared pain...and then seeing/sharing the family dealing with the moments around and after death.
Staff are NOT heroes...but we ARE pee`d off with cutbacks!
We`re just folks doing their job, and caring about how we do it. Sadly, this bit is just part of the territory, but be assured, we still feel it.
We also FEEL it quite deeply when there`s a patient with nobody to bring stuff in for them...hospital supplies no longer provide any shaving stuff, toiletries - other than basic SOAP, towels & disposable wipes. If an old lady has longish hair, and no family, WE provide the bobbles, clips, etc. to deal with it. If anyone has spare hair stuff or shaving stuff who is reading here, a donation to your local hospital will not go unwelcome!

helen_jelly

Emm - I never realised that about hair stuff, shaving etc - what type of ward would benefit more from these donations

Helen x

bearcub

Emm, thank you for telling us about the supplies, or lack of. I should ahve realsied from when Mum IL was in hospital last year, but it never occurred to me. Must look into that!

Emm-in-a-pickle

On a lighter note - this weekend, 2 health professionals (OH & I) have a rare weekend off together. Last night I cooked a big pork shoulder joint, while we had a supper of CHIPS!!/venison steak/mushrooms and salady bits (OH is off tomatoes cos they now remind him of NIGHTSHIFT=PUNISHMENT!)
This afternoon, we went off to the PUB, and very nice it was....talked shop awhile -
Have returned home, OH `nights-lagged` gone for a kip, and I`ve made a fire and read & typed here, had a bit of quality time with DGD, and prepped some veg to go with the pork in a bit.
Someone was saying at work the other day about `STRESS AWARENESS` thing coming up - I`m not normally stressed at work, the `normal` stressy stuff there I can handle, like the water on ducks thing, but just sometimes, the EXTRA stressors get nasty - like petty conflicts, `ward politics`in which I REFUSE to participate - but need to digest and spit out during time off.. Recent thing got sorted, but still feeling a bit of `aftermath`, and just sad that some adults are still so childish.with each other (Heroes - my a*se!)

Cat501

Emm - glad you and OH have a weekend off, it sounds like you are making the most of it, last night's dinner sounds yummy! Could do with a trip to the pub myself but not yet:)

Thank you for the information about supplies, I'll certainly do what I can for the ward he was in. Another thing which might be useful, please correct me if I'm wrong, is nail clippers. A wanted his nails cut by the staff but they're not allowed to use scissors and asked if someone could bring clippers in for him.

Emm-in-a-pickle

Bearcub & Helen & anyone else out there - pretty much ANY hospital ward where there are elderly patients who DON`T have family to bring in stuff they need. Imagine how BAD it feels when someone is visiting their (clean-shaven|)dad, and the old chap in the bed next to him looks like desperate dan!? NOT our fault, but he looks neglected, as he has no shaving tackle! And nobody to fetch him some.
We REGULARLY `rob Peter to pay Paul` - ask patient or relatives permission to `borrow` a shot of shaving foam and a disposable razor. We also get to know who needs most needily, and there`s always SOME staff who bring in `unwanted` stuff - truth is they bought it specially, for that patient!
AND little hairbrushes, packs of bobbles. I`ve lost count of how many I`ve taken in. They soon go, we always need more.
We USED to have a couple of electric shavers on the ward, for the needy unshaven - now it`s banned, infection control issues.So more Desperate Dans.