My home is a mess

alec_eiffel

Busy here. We're on a clampdown spending-wise so I've been busy doing domestic stuff - lots of pinging around!

So happy the day is nice enough to have laundry outside, I've washed some fairly thick stuff and it's blowing about nicely. Hope everyone is finding some time to have fun.

Cat501

*sneaks back in after 20 months away*:o

Hi messies. Lovely to see some familiar faces here, hope you are all well My pc gave up the ghost long ago but I've finally got myself a laptop - it takes a bit of getting used to! No change here - still in a hopeless mess! Currently attempting to clear out books, which I'm finding soooo hard I have 8 carrier bags filled for the charity shop so far, haven't even made a dent in my collection and am finding it impossible to cull any more. I've worked out there are a number of psychological issues at play here. Help!!!

It's good to be back :j
xx

dibuzz

Hi cat, I find parting with books very difficult too. I feel like I'm abandoning them.

Emm-in-a-pickle

Hi Messies!

Cat, it`s great to hear from you again!
I`m with you & Dibuzz on the book-cull trauma. It goes back to childhood, being brought up to `look after` your books, even if toys and clothes got trashed it could be excused as `wear & tear` but books had to be treated with care and respect...
I`m a bit daft with kitchen stuff too - I have way too many pots & pans, casserole dishes etc, and hate the idea of a cull there - hence a stash of spares in caravan of Doom plus some in spare room of Doom!

Elsewhere in the house -
Bedrooms & bathroom not too bad, Kitchen ok except floor & cooker hob(!!!) but LR needs a bit of work.
Trouble is, it`s wild and windy here, wet but sunny - so dust is illuminated - and floor cleaning would be pointless as I can`t put the cat & dog out, nor leave doors open, wet leafy bits blowing around like confetti out there, and coming in on feet when any of us do venture outside.
Good excuse to leave it till tomorrow?

dibuzz

Wet and windy here too.
Had a bad day yesterday and did nothing so I'm going to give the bathroom it's weekly blitz today.

alec_eiffel

Don't worry about the books.

You've done your first pass and managed to part with a fair few. Don't beat yourself up about what you haven't done, be happy with the 8 bags you've donated too a good cause and move on.

If books are a hard thing for you - assuming that's not what's clogging your house up then don't try to force yourself to get rid of more, move on to something easier. You can revisit the books in a few months, a year, or whenever and see what (if anything) you can donate then. Often something that's a "must keep" now is a "why am I keeping this" some time along the line.

Cat501

Thank you for the welcome back I did try to look on the forum on my phone but it only has a small screen and I quickly gave up. So it's nice to be able to read it again properly, though I'll need to go out and buy a mouse asap, can't be doing with these trackpad thingies!:p I think I'm a bit of a Luddite!

Emm I have been trying to catch up on what I have missed by reading random pages, I am so sorry to hear about Dafty dog (((hugs)))

Thanks all for the book advice. I'm amazed I've got rid of so many (for me) but it would be nice if it showed! I really don't have the room or storage for so many. But they are a bit of a comfort blanket and have become part of my identity I think. I read a good blog post on this which really resonated - about how having a lot of books can make you feel important and impressive when you lack self-esteem and I'm ashamed to admit that is spot on. You do imagine people coming to your house and admiring your collection and, by extension, admiring you. I do it myself if I go to a house full of books. Of course, nobody has ever seen mine because the house is too messy :rotfl:And few of them are in any way intellectual anyway! :rotfl:There's also the more simple fact that I like the way they look - but when piles of them are jumbled up taking up half a room it's not so good! And there's a compulsive element too, when I have to own a whole series or collection on a topic.
I started with a quite symbolic cull of two books which I wouldn't ever have bought but got free 20 years ago through a book club. I FINALLY admitted to myself that The Odyssey and The Iliad were only there to impress non-existent visitors and were NEVER going to be read (I opened one, read a few lines and it was tortuous) It felt quite good to let them go

Today I've defrosted the [STRIKE]polar ice cap[/STRIKE] my freezer for the first time since the last time I was here - see the effect you lot have on me?:D

Wind definitely dying down here, how is it where you all are? Does sound like a good excuse to leave things till tomorrow Emm but if the weather has improved and you're in the mood to do it......

kboss2010

pollypenny wrote: »

We had a lovely day yesterday, what a pity DiL and the gorgeous boys couldn't come.

I've just found myself ironing DS 's tee-shirts! DiL never irons!

Edit: how the hell did I misspell weight!

Neither do I!

Forgive me, but why is your son not ironing his own stuff? I think my "MIL" gets secretly horrified that I don't iron by OH's shirts but why should I? He doesn't wash and iron my clothes, I'm not doing his just because I'm the female in the house.

We both work full-time, to me, ironing is a waste of valuable time I just don't have.

pollypenny

kboss2010 wrote: »

Neither do I!

Forgive me, but why is your son not ironing his own stuff? I think my "MIL" gets secretly horrified that I don't iron by OH's shirts but why should I? He doesn't wash and iron my clothes, I'm not doing his just because I'm the female in the house.

We both work full-time, to me, ironing is a waste of valuable time I just don't have.

'Forgive me' usually presages a snotty comment, as here.

If you'd read my posts, you would know that I was thrilled to bits to have had my DS here, from the USA, for a few days.
It was just lovely to pamper him, as he works so hard and, with two little ones both he and DiL hsve no time to themselves.

homealone_2

this whole thread sums up my problems too. due to ill health and now only ds1 at home things have gone from bad to worse. our whole road is suffering from mice. has been for the last 3 years. you imagine my embarrassment when rodent people said besides leaving traps around they can do no more with the house being so cluttered. not just one room affected but whole house. son keeps us up to date with laundry and all the cooking but never clears up after himself or help with the stuff I cant do. I know it cant fall totally on him and would be willing too get cleaner for couple of hours a week but need to clear the backlog first. my back limits me to what I can do and it just seems that spend hours sorting stuff and when I look later it looks like I have done nothing. I have contents of a 5 bedroom house with only 3 bedrooms. he says he will help when he sees how down it s getting me but facebook/x box always comes first and it looks like I am nagging. I do the advert thing but it just feels like I am clearing one room to only make the others worse. I have never loved housework but it has never been this bad. have way too many clothes, shoes, bags etc and although am getting rid of some it only makes a very small dent and have real problems decluttering, a real hoarder feels like I am just moving things from a-b and laying in bed listening to mice is driving me crazy