My home is a mess

ohbilmey

Oh thanks Snookey. I really don't think I'm depressed, just knackered and overwhelmed. Have a terrible struggle most nights getting DD to do homework and afterwards just want to flop on the couch. Have put a washing on this morning and will hang out before leaving for work as we're promised sun today! I'd love to come home from work to a lovely tidy house, it would be so much less stressful for us both but I just can't get motivated. I have a child free hour later, might see what I can get done instead of browsing MSE aas usual.

snookey

ohbilmey good morning and well done on getting the washing done. Thats more than Iv done this morning.
Remember baby steps and you will get to where you want in the end.

YORKSHIRELASS

ohbilmey wrote: »

Oh thanks Snookey. I really don't think I'm depressed, just knackered and overwhelmed. Have a terrible struggle most nights getting DD to do homework and afterwards just want to flop on the couch. Have put a washing on this morning and will hang out before leaving for work as we're promised sun today! I'd love to come home from work to a lovely tidy house, it would be so much less stressful for us both but I just can't get motivated. I have a child free hour later, might see what I can get done instead of browsing MSE aas usual.

Aw hun, I have been there - I really have. I can remember days when I was so tired I felt physically ill. The trouble is that mess and chaos in the house just makes it worse and you get into this horrible downwards spiral.

I guess there are two ways to tackle this - a massive blitz on the house or steadily chipping away at it.

Is there anyone you could ask, a close friend or relative who would come round at the weekend and help you blitz the place? If not could you somehow pull out all the stops and free up some time to do this yourself?

If not then its chipping away at it. This should be your plan of attack going forward anyway. Little and often really makes a difference. As Snookey says choose one area and sort it, properly. Or set the kitchen timer and do half an hour after your daughter has gone to bed every night, no matter how tired you are.

Get your daughter involved as well. Make a game of it and set the timer to see how much stuff you can put away in a half an hour or whatever.

Good luck, and stay with us, it really helps.

Got to run, new job was great yesterday - hope this continues but I am tired this morning! Will take me time to adjust to the new routine I think.

snookey

Glad the jobs gong well Yorkshire lass . Enjoy your day.

Thought people would like this quote;

One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries. —A.A. Milne

dibuzz

We have a 6ftx6ft room which originally was a pantry and coal cellar but we knocked the dividing wall down to make a small utility room
The "little room" as we call it has been filling up with junk but I've managed to get rid of a lot of it today, mainly stuff I was keeping "just in case" I always try to have a blitz the day before the bins go out, plus we are moving over to 2 weekly collections soon so may as well do it whilst I can.
I found some shed preservative and the sprayer to apply it so decided to paint the shed before winter. I ended up looking like I'd had a dodgy spray tan and the shed looked awful, it was all patchy like it was being repelled in places and when I stepped back and looked properly I just cried.
I've just been to hang some washing out and it doesn't look to bad now it's dried a bit. There's a small patch I missed because I ran out and don't have a car today so can't go for any more.

alec_eiffel

Good work dibuzz. Even if it does look patchy it's protected and soon enough you won't even look at it, you're just really focused on it now so it seems like a big deal. You got a big task out of the way so that's great. You can always tart it up at a later date if you feel the need.

Well done for getting into the little room too. I think rooms like that always feel like they're going to take forever but they're generally not too bag. Because everything is stashed it seems really bad.

Sat and had a think about the stuff I need to do today, quite near the top of the list was do some stuff in the garden. That was propelled to the top of the list when I remembered my parents are coming this weekend to build a compost bin. Weeding is now more than necessary!

MummyBobble

Hi Ohblimey

I only joined this thread a couple of weeks ago and have lots of great suggestions and support from the lovely folk on here. It's also good to know I'm not the only one with a bit of a messy problem (as in the state of my house, not bodily functions! :laugh: ). Baby steps seems to be the way to go for me, as I just don't have the time or energy to tackle anything that appears impossible to deal with. Be kind to your self and don't expect to be able to get it all sorted quickly unless you have some help.

Sonastin gave some very good advice about setting expectations too high. Most days I plan to do so much I've failed before I've even started! The suggestion was:

"for the next 7 days, make a deliberate and conscious effort that all you are going to do each day is the "has to be done today jobs". And when they are done, take a deep breath and relax. No pressure, no worry, no need to then make a start on anything else. I promise that the world won't fall down around your ears! After you've got through the week, start adding extra little (and I mean LITTLE!) tasks on at the end e.g. the "has to be done today" jobs plus clearing the carp that has built up on the arm chair in the corner of the living room, or ditching the junk mail that has arrived this week (only this week mind - remember baby steps!), or one of the things that is on tomorrow's "has to be done" list so that you get ahead of yourself.". (Sorry Sonastin, can't post attachments so copied and pasted - thanks)

We've all gone back to school this week so I've extended the 7 days to cover our first days back as I'm treating the extras like ironing school uniform and homework as additions above and beyond the call of duty (any excuse :rotfl: ).

I'm going for a "little but often" approach - this morning (before work!) I took the bin from the upstairs bathroom down and (instead of leaving it near the back door to be emptied) did the whole job, rubbish in outdoor bin and empty bin back in bathroom!

I may have problems when it comes to tacking 15 year old DD's room though (unfortunately developing my hoarding tendencies). The conversation went "You can't even open the bottom two drawers there's that much piled on the floor in front of them!", DD replies "Oh it doesn't matter, they're full of things I don't need", "But why is all that on the floor?" "I've nowhere to put it..." :eek: Heaven help me.

Emm-in-a-pickle

Hi Messies!
Ohbilmey, welcome - and well done you for making a start with the washing. I`m so glad you`ve joined us, it really helps to be able to wail about the mess we manage to get into, and to share any steps we manage to take to deal with it.
It does sound overwhelming, working full time then having to put parenting duty first, and only then having time to deal with the house. I second the suggestion of trying to get your daughter to help (even in very minor ways) and making a bit of a game of it. The timer is a great way to do this. It`s a great way to motivate yourself too. Pick one task, something that`s getting you down, set the timer for 20 minutes then go at it flat out - see how much you can actually do in that time. Then stop, reward yourself with a break - tea & biscuits, whatever.
In fact, the timer thing may be a good way to help get your DD going with her homework, that sounds like part of the problem to me. It sounds like she`s dragging it out to take much longer than her teacher would have intended, and after a while she`ll just be switched off anyway, so the reward break will break things up and take a bit of stress off you both. (even if there isn`t an awful lot done to be rewarded at first, give it a try).
And do keep posting, we Messies do share the despairs and the achievements in our struggles in de-Messifying.

Snookey, Hope the day goes well sorting your DS out for uni. I love that AA Milne quote!
Dibuzz, we were lucky, I managed to get the last blazer they had in DGD`s size!
YorkshireLass, I`m glad the job is going well, enjoy!

Chez-Emm....
Not much done. I got the burnt pan clean, last nights` pots etc & sink clear. (The blue cheesy spuds were gorgeous!) Did a bit of shopping and fridge tetris. Have since run out of steam because it`s so hot & sticky I`ve gone all CBA! I`m on another long day shift tomorrow, so half of me is trying to conserve my energy while the other half of me is thinking I should take my own advice and do a 20-minute timer tidy in the LR.
Which half will prevail....? I need another coffee while I debate this with myself...

Emm-in-a-pickle

Dibuzz - well done on the shed-spraying and utility room tetris - and thanks, your bit about the dodgy spray tan made me chuckle!
Alec E - nothing like a parental visit to get things done!
Mummybobble- my DGD has drawers in her bedroom here like that, and uses the same logic. Last time I cleared the outgrown clothes from the bottom drawer she kept it empty because putting stuff on the floor made it easier to find!! She isn`t with us now till after the weekend, BUT....
DS has just announced his GF is coming down to stay this weekend.
That means he`ll be clearing some carp out of his room, and some will end up in LR. So, I am definitely NOT having a tidy today (ie, making space for DS`s carp!)

YORKSHIRELASS

Morning everyone

Is it only Thursday? Really? I am ready for the weekend now. I am trying to not let things in the house slip too much because I dont want to end up spending half of the weekend doing housework. I am doing 4 hours a day in the new job, then it takes me half an hour to get home, have some lunch, walk the dog and then I am trying to do a bit of housework before its time to get tea ready. Oh and I am still doing my old part time job working from home as well.

Apologies to those of you who work full time, or do long shifts because I know you will work a lot more hours than me but this is all new and I didnt expect to find it so tiring!

Anyway, apart from being so feeble its going well. DS2 is happy to be back at school, DS1 same as ever, and hubby has just got some new work so its all good. Right, off to do breakfast, have a good day everyone!