First Time post on here - felt sick and a loser

carly

I've just come in on the end of this and havnt read all the posts so forgive me if I have missed this, but Fred have you enquired with SKY about their Tv/Broadband/ telephone deals. This might possibly be an area where you could make a saving

Alisonbel

weymuffred wrote:

Will do a updated soa later as a few things have changed, but today we received a summons for the 1800 owed with ge money. what is the best way of dealing with that?

I think this is correct but once it goes to a a debt collector or through courts they don't charge interest or late payment charges etc, so all monies paid to them comes off debt, you credit rating is probably screwed anyway so this may help as you may be able to make reduced payments. I'm sure this is what CCCS said, have you tried getting advice from them they go thru your budget and can set up a plan with you. You don't have to take the advice but I can actually sleep at night now. I apologise in advance if this is incorrect, so please no nasty replies!!!

Keep your chin, most of us have been/are there or we wouldn't be here now.
Freeview boxes cost 20 and don't cost anything a month!!;)

pigpen

weymuffred.. I am sorry to hear the struggles your family is facing at the moment. I promise not to mention the Sky.. I don't even have a TV so that's a huge chunk of money I don't have to pay out.

Assuming your 2 oldest daughters claim their own DLA are they to all intents classed as financially non-dependant.. by that I mean they have their own income? If they are they should be paying YOU board if they live at home etc. DLA is claimed by the parent for the needs of the child if they are under 16 or 18 if in full time education still. Or at least that is what it says on the form I filled in last night. Maybe you should be considering this.. especially if you are buying their food/toiletries/paying bills etc.

I have 8 children and my food & clothing bills aren't that high.. tesco value everything in here.. it all matches nice and pretty in my cupboard.. and none of this 'they won't eat this or that'. if it is on their plate they eat it or starve.. they soon catch on when they realise you aren't buying anything different!! None of this 'designer' this or that either.. they are lucky to have the things they have, a safe house, loving parents, an education and warm food every day.. those are the priorities. I do loads of shopping at charity shops & have donations from friends and family.. a penny saved and all that.

£40 pocket money.. assuming that is just for 2 because the others are financially independant.. WHY?? My 15 year old gets nothing.. I'll give him money for the cinema or whatever IF he deserves it (mine have chores and jobs etc.. even my SN children) I'd be reducing that too without a doubt.

GE are a pain to work with, they have huge interest rates. If you phone the courts the day before you are due to be there and speak to the clerk and make an offer of £5 a month they have a legal obligation to accept that for the duration of the debt.. providing you don't miss a payment they cannot ask you to pay more. If it is already with a debt collection agency do the same.. £5 a month is a lot better plus there is no interest added as stated above!!

Would the gas & electric be cheaper you were to have meters installed?? I hate those things but in some circumstances they are useful, you can always have them removed later on when you have the debt element sorted!

Both you and your wife can claim carers allowance one for each daughter.. unless someone receives it for you or her.

Would you dad possibly pay for you to go visit him?? It wouldn't be that much just for you!! .. if you got a family railcard it would probably cost very little more to take the girls too! If you don't ask you don't get!!

I hope the future picks up for you and you can get yourself out of this rut.

Aside from the financial side, I would encourage you to do some exercise.. not because I think you are unfit because I can't see you!! .. BUT the hormones produced when you exercise lift your mood and will improve your outlook on life and give you the boost you need to tackle this head on.. it has also been proven that 30 minutes exercise 3-4 times a week decreases your risk of serious illnesses and is encouraged for this recovering from cancers (following recent research) as it has added benefit in preventing a relapse.. as told to my college tutor recovering from breast cancer.. (she sees a private dr so gets more info and also has better drugs like your dog!) I know you don't want to but we have to force ourselves to do things sometimes.. like getting out of bed on a cold wet morning.

Good luck!!

xx

Bogof_Babe

What an inspirational post Pigpen (love the name, lol). I do hope Fred takes it in the spirit intended.

Bravo to you for organizing your big family so brilliantly. The core message about cutting one's coat according to one's cloth comes across loud and clear!

chardonnay_2

hi weymuffred, just wanted to send big hugs to you and your family and congratulations on the changes you have made.

i would suggest you go to the moneysaving old style board and do a post asking how to cut down your household budget you'll be amazed how little some people spend.

another idea is to take part in the grocery challenge on the old style board. basically you keep a spending diary and all your receipts for a month,add up how much you are spending and then the next month you try to reduce it by any amount you choose. everyone is supportive and many men also post on the old style board.

perhaps you could edit your SOA with details of the changes you have made so the information doesn't get lost in the thread.

re the electricity and gas usage there are threads on old style about ways to reduce them perhaps these would help. simple things like switching off lights when not in use, turn everything off at night - leave nothing on standby. turn down your thermostat etc plus many more ingenious ideas.

in the past people have also posted their entire shopping list and prices and we have told them cheaper alternatives etc.

so i suppose i'm saying if you've not already get yourself to old style so we can share our wealth of knowledge

firesidemaid

hi there

just read most of this thread and wanted to add my support. you realised you needed to do something and have made good inroads.

i just had a thought for you and your family to try and look at your situation in a different way - hope it might be helpful.

with all your family involved, why not start with how much you do have coming in and make it fit to all you have to pay out each month.

start with the debt payments, utilities and essentials and then get everyone to make a joint decision about what their priorites are.

i obviously don't know anything about you or your family - but this might be a way of making this a family issue rather than it mainly falling on yourself.

wishing you all the best for now

goonieman

miggy wrote:

Mmm, I'm sure there are cheaper than this - Virgin for instance @ about £12.

Or seeing as your adament to keep sky switch to their free broadband. £30 a month saving!

miggy

goonieman wrote:

Or seeing as your adament to keep sky switch to their free broadband. £30 a month saving!

This isnt available in all areas - as we found when one of our kids persuaded us to get Sky and we did the sums and realised the whole package would save us money! So we have Sky and have to pay someone else for broadband... hope it's available where you are though

weymuffred

pigpen wrote:

weymuffred.. I am sorry to hear the struggles your family is facing at the moment. I promise not to mention the Sky.. I don't even have a TV so that's a huge chunk of money I don't have to pay out.

Assuming your 2 oldest daughters claim their own DLA are they to all intents classed as financially non-dependant.. by that I mean they have their own income? If they are they should be paying YOU board if they live at home etc. DLA is claimed by the parent for the needs of the child if they are under 16 or 18 if in full time education still. Or at least that is what it says on the form I filled in last night. Maybe you should be considering this.. especially if you are buying their food/toiletries/paying bills etc.

I have 8 children and my food & clothing bills aren't that high.. tesco value everything in here.. it all matches nice and pretty in my cupboard.. and none of this 'they won't eat this or that'. if it is on their plate they eat it or starve.. they soon catch on when they realise you aren't buying anything different!! None of this 'designer' this or that either.. they are lucky to have the things they have, a safe house, loving parents, an education and warm food every day.. those are the priorities. I do loads of shopping at charity shops & have donations from friends and family.. a penny saved and all that.

£40 pocket money.. assuming that is just for 2 because the others are financially independant.. WHY?? My 15 year old gets nothing.. I'll give him money for the cinema or whatever IF he deserves it (mine have chores and jobs etc.. even my SN children) I'd be reducing that too without a doubt.

GE are a pain to work with, they have huge interest rates. If you phone the courts the day before you are due to be there and speak to the clerk and make an offer of £5 a month they have a legal obligation to accept that for the duration of the debt.. providing you don't miss a payment they cannot ask you to pay more. If it is already with a debt collection agency do the same.. £5 a month is a lot better plus there is no interest added as stated above!!

Would the gas & electric be cheaper you were to have meters installed?? I hate those things but in some circumstances they are useful, you can always have them removed later on when you have the debt element sorted!

Both you and your wife can claim carers allowance one for each daughter.. unless someone receives it for you or her.

Would you dad possibly pay for you to go visit him?? It wouldn't be that much just for you!! .. if you got a family railcard it would probably cost very little more to take the girls too! If you don't ask you don't get!!

I hope the future picks up for you and you can get yourself out of this rut.

Aside from the financial side, I would encourage you to do some exercise.. not because I think you are unfit because I can't see you!! .. BUT the hormones produced when you exercise lift your mood and will improve your outlook on life and give you the boost you need to tackle this head on.. it has also been proven that 30 minutes exercise 3-4 times a week decreases your risk of serious illnesses and is encouraged for this recovering from cancers (following recent research) as it has added benefit in preventing a relapse.. as told to my college tutor recovering from breast cancer.. (she sees a private dr so gets more info and also has better drugs like your dog!) I know you don't want to but we have to force ourselves to do things sometimes.. like getting out of bed on a cold wet morning.

Good luck!!

xx

Thanks for you post. I am just wondering if you are looking at my updated soa? We have cut out the pocket money now. I do try and get out and walk but it is becoming impossible for me to walk any length without it causing me a great deal of pain in the lumber region of my back. i am enrolled in my local chronic pain clinic. I suffer from cervical spondylosis. I also suffer from mild aspergers. social anxiety disorder and depression, and if it wasnt for my wonderful wife, i doubt i would be able to cope with life.
My dad has offered to pay the train fare for us to go up but I couldnt imagine taking money off a dying man.

weymuffred

Bogof_Babe wrote:

Bravo to you for organizing your big family so brilliantly. The core message about cutting one's coat according to one's cloth comes across loud and clear!

You just cannot help it can you?
Thank god for the nice people who are understanding, helpful non judgemental etc.