First Time post on here - felt sick and a loser

D&DD

Please people the OP has summoned up the courage to post his SOA and ask for help..I have always felt more comfortable on this board than any of the others on this site because of the fact everyone always tries to be constructive and actually help...
How many of us are saints as SS pointed out any one of us can lie.As others have pointed out there may be a very good reason for the OP posting the SOA he has.I have 2 kids with disabilities and can tell you the financial help you do get (although we are grateful for it) doesn't go anywhere,why do you think so many people with disabilities end up in debt?????Its not easy and if he's got a disability himself,his wifes a carer AND they have two kids with disabilities I think they do bloody well to even keep going.As a carer you are often isolated,under immense stress and often depressed..We get very little backup and everything we do get takes years to fight for so PLEASE GIVE THE GUY A BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Retreats with tin hat firmly over head*:p

Broken_hearted

The DLA is a very important point, I can't help feeling it's all a bit suss. Lots of money coming in and we arn't allowed to question it at all. I've read and reread both threads. As a carer myself I think they are playing the system and wnt nothing more to do with this. Unsubscribing now.

smokybabe

D&DD wrote:

*Retreats with tin hat firmly over head*:p

Boxing gloves over here if needed!

Sinkingindebt_2

I know it is up to the user to be truthful about how much he is getting, I think people are just frustrated because they want to help, and most genuine people do open up completely and post everything, even the awful stuff (like sky) look at the poor lady who has 200k oweing, she was so very brave, she was so scared about posting but because she has been hoest we have all offered so much more support, which is sad for weymufffred, as people seem to be getting grumpy with him, and he needs equal help.

I cant decide what I think right now, but I can sort of see why people are a tad miffed, but equally, I hope waymuff gets sympathy and help if he was just to trust us a bit more, its a leap of faith, a very scary one, but a worthwile one all the same.

Im still new so this is really from an outside point of view, as I dont know what is the norm for the DFW board with regards to SOA's.

seven-day-weekend

Sinkingindebt wrote:

I I hope waymuff gets sympathy and help if he was just to trust us a bit more, its a leap of faith, a very scary one, but a worthwile one all the same.

.

Yes that's it ,I think. I don't think Weymuffred feels confident enought to let us into his financial situation 'warts and all' , it IS scary....so all we can do is to try to help him on the information we've been given.

I'm no better, even though I'm now debt-free, I've only just altered my signature today to say I've dealt with my DEBTS. I wouldn't have called them debts at the time. It's only coming here and getting peoples' advice (including Martin's) that has made me see I just didn't have money I owed, I had DEBT.

It's only a little word, but a scary one and I quite understand if someone doesn't want to spill the beans all at once, even about their income.

sophiesmum_2

miggy wrote:

Yes, my disabled parents cared for each other and both claimed it as far as I remember. Worth a try if you aren't already.
Miggy

i recently filled in a claim for carers allowance for someone in a similar setup.The mother and son were disabled, the father already claimed carers allowance for caring for his wife, she was then advised to claim carers allowance for looking after the son even though she had disabilities herself. She was awarded it. Carers allowance affects other benefits though and may not be worth someone claiming if they are already being credited with a similar allowance, as this would then be reduced accordingly.

i am not an expert but looking at freds soa i would guess that the two daughters with aspergers have their dla paid direct to themselves as they are over 16. I think freds wife claims carers allowance for looking after the girls as she is entitled to. I don't think fred would qualify for carers allowance anyway as he has an income from his pension which would affect this anyway.
I think it is time people stopped trying to hound out more financial details from fred, his income seems realistic to me for someone in his situation.If he weren't getting a works pension he would be getting more benefits. Give the guy a break and lets see how we can help.

sophiesmum

southernscouser

I hope we can draw a line under this issue before it decends to beyond repair for whatever reason.

I don't like making assumptions (much ) but look at the reaction the OP got before. By declaring anything Wey might have forgotten now he is running the risk at getting another flaming and most importantly missing out on the help he needs and wants.

If Wey wants to ammend anything in his SOA he is free to do so. He is also free to keep things personal and private.

It would be nice if we could just work on the figures supplied.

smokybabe

southernscouser wrote:

I hope we can draw a line under this issue before it decends to beyond repair for whatever reason.

I don't like making assumptions (much ) but look at the reaction the OP got before. By declaring anything Wey might have forgotten now he is running the risk at getting another flaming and most importantly missing out on the help he needs and wants.

If Wey wants to ammend anything in his SOA he is free to do so. He is also free to keep things personal and private.

It would be nice if we could just work on the figures supplied.

What he says.:D

sophiesmum_2

Hi Fred
i have just read through the post properly and it seems like you are making some progress. Getting your water costs down from £79 to £29 is a great start.
Hopefully you will get some help from the PDSA with medication for the dog but if not whatever you can save online will help.
Housekeeping could definately be reduced - why not get MRs Fred to look on the oldstyle board for some inspiration.get her to post under a new user name and ask away - it is a very friendly board and lots of great ideas for stretching the housekeeping. You could probably cut that by half eventually, and it gets addictive too, besides being a healthier more ecological way of doing things.
You can only do things a step at a time. It would be great if you could update your soa when you make little changes as then people can see where progress has been made and which areas you still need help with.
the only other thing i thought of at the moment was the life insurance, given your current circumstances would there be much benefit to this at present.Maybe you could cancel this until you are more sorted out financially.
Fred i hope you keep posting and try some of the advice you have been given by people, sometimes it seems harsh measures but it is just a quick fix method and a means to an end - helping to clear debts. Once you are in control you can decide what YOUR spending priorities are.
Take care
sophiesmum:D - mother of 19 year old son with aspergers.

weymuffred

Sinkingindebt wrote:

I think most of the time DLA can still be easily paid to the parents if the kids live at home, I read about it somewhere on here? Anyway without OP confirming it we are purely speculating on wether he recieves it or not. As I said before, he may be recieving it but spending it on care for them.

I am not including the dla becuase it is theirs and they have not posted on here, I am not going to involve them as they have enough to cope with.