Seriously need help...please :)

shellyruby

bestpud wrote: »

The poster pointed out that bold writing is difficult to read for some.

I'm not sure why you thought that very reasonable response was from a riled poster? Nobody else got riled about it either.

You, on the other hand, come across as very irate and confrontational.

Ironic, given what you are complaining about. :cool:

i was talking about the whole thread as well as the bold writing..have you not read the thread.you cant tell me people dont get riled up,i think you are very mistaken..if you read my posts properly i was stating the rules of the forum about not being judgemental and being nice to all moneysavers..your post quoting me has absolutley nothing to do with the question that the op asked..confrontational i dont think so.just stating the rudeness of people on here..as it says on the discussion board this is for benefit advice and not judgement and its a real shame because people are scared to post for answers in case the haters reply judging them..and irate yes because the answers are so smug with little digs in them..on the discussion board theres a post saying about the judgmental users on the benefit section.

shellyruby

no-oneknowsme wrote: »

Even though you come across as a very defensive person I thought I should reply to this^^^^.

I did say that I do not wish to get involved in the squabbles which are on going in relation to whether the OP should stay at home and raise their child. The reason I wont get involved is because I just couldnt care either way!

Do you think the opinion of people on a forum is is going to change the OP's mind once she has it made up?

I will however say that if you think that this post is me being "riled" then it is obvious that you are new to the boards :rotfl:.

I was merely pointing out that posting in big bold letters is sore on the eyes!

Seem you didnt like the advice? Oh dear...tragic...how sad. :rotfl:

i didnt ask for any advice from you and ive been reading posts on here for 4 years thankyou so am not new to the boards..
so thanks for your so sarcastic reply.did i not say it didnt occur to me that writing in bold would be a problem.
dont wish to argue my case on something so pathetic..many of you on here are alienating people who ask for genuine advice.

shellyruby

be*eventful wrote: »

This is an interesting thread!
I am a new poster but have been reading for some time.
I just wondered about all of the posters who complain about their taxes going towards paying for benefits for others, have you never claimed any benefits, or would you, if your circumstances changed, not claim anything at all?
Or what if you had a close family member who made the decision to give up work to care for their children, would you advise them to stay at work and not claim any benefits as you don't believe your hard earned taxes should contribute?

I have just found myself without a job due for the first time since I was 16. Having always worked full time, only taking a few months maternity leave with both children, have made the decision to be a stay at home mum until my youngest starts school in August. I am also going to look into what benefits are available to my family - without feeling ashamed about it.
We have not claimed tax credits for the past few years as we have not needed to but we will now.

My husband doesn't earn a massive wage but with the help of tax credits etc, we will be able to get by without my full time salary for a while.
Once my wee one starts school, I will look for full time work again and stop claiming whatever benefits we end up getting.

After reading the comments on here, I am sure I will be pounced on and told that I should be getting a full time job again right now and not expect to have other members of the public help us!
I hope that some others on here don't have a change in circumstances and find themselves having to claim anything, but if they did, once I am working again, I would be happy to contribute my taxes to help them out.
xx

great post..

jellyhead

michelle1506 wrote: »

Some of us DON'T HAVE other family members to help them out

I don't, although I could probably get help on a friday afternoon if I found a job for those hours. Everyone else works. I could look after my nephews more (for free I mean, not as a childminder), and I do collect them from school if they are ill, etc. but my sis gets 85% of her childcare paid, so she says it would cost me more to feed them than it costs her for a whole day's childcare. I have the 13 year old sometimes, because there's no childcare for him and it gets lonely being home alone for entire days.

My only real hope for a job is finding one in evenings and weekends when husband is home, but his hours aren't fixed and he often has to work whole weekends hundreds of miles away at a moment's notice, so any job I got would have to be given up if that happened too often.

FBaby

I don't think anyone should be ashamed of claiming benefits they are entitled to. They shouldn't however expect it to go on forever nor complain if what they received suddenly goes down because of the state of the economy.

Helen36

Reading all through this thread has been such a wake up call for me.

I have two children under three, work four days a week, and have to put them both in childcare when I'm at work which costs up to £1,300 a month. We have no family to help us out with childcare. I'm the higher wage earner and it would work out better financially for my husband to stay at home with them, but although this was the plan, he's just not cut out to be a stay at home Dad.

My job is exhausting, it's not a 9-5, I have to do paperwork most evenings and am never off call. For a long time, I've been hating the situation I'm in, wishing I could quit work to bring up the kids, and loathing the system that means that I can't do what my mum did and stay at home with the children. I've spent hours feeling resentful and angry.

But this thread has opened my eyes, and rather than wishing I could claim benefits, I'm now feeling proud of myself for doing what I'm doing. It's really difficult, I'm exhaused and our child care costs mean that although we can just pay the mortgage, we have no money, no holidays, crap cars and no money to spend on ourselves, but I'm going to start being postive and say that at least I'm not reliant on anyone. We'll look back on this and feel proud that we got through.

We got ourselves in this situation, but we also got two lovely children so I'm just going to concentrate on being glad we did.

Thanks, everyone, for changing my mind set. It's been a real light-bulb moment.

mumof2girls_2

I am going to add my tuppence worth.....

I am a Mum of 2 girls (5+3) both have been in private nursery throughout their short life-My now husband works full time (37.5 hours) and works 4 nites per week on top (an added 24 hours) I worked right up until yesterday as I resigned from a reasonably paid job in local government as I had recently moved my 3 year old to council nursery where her Gran would watch her the remaining hours whilst I worked. Unfortuantely my mum took unwell, so I had to make the decision to leave my job after 8.5 years.

However, I don't expect any extra benefits, and hubby has the second job in order for us to make ends meet. We hardly ever see eachother, but our children did not ask to be born, they are our responsibility, we have to provide for them, not the government to subsidise us. I am extremely grateful for our Child Benefit and minimal TC's, as the government quite frankly shouldn't be subsidising people choosing to have children. The benefit system (other than those disabled etc) should only be used as a short term solution, and as prefviously described a "safety net"

My best advice is get OH to get an extra wee job at night or u could.

Good luck

no-oneknowsme

shellyruby wrote: »

.
do you think martin lewis would agree with your post.no i dont think so.

Sorry but this^^^is just way too funny :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Spendless

michelle1506 wrote: »

What do you think used to happen in not so very long ago times? The current system of heavily subsidised childcare for a broad range of incomes did not exist even when I had my eldest child and he is still in Primary school. People either worked round the other parents shifts if they could, asked family members to help them out or delayed the return to work till their youngest child went into f-time education.

Some of us DON'T HAVE other family members to help them out

No, I realise that. I have limited help from family members and have had none before (due to severe illness, eg cancer) during the times I have kids. My point was that not so very long ago, there was not the subsidised childcare that there currently is, and even when it became available it was initially only limited to certain people eg lone parents. Only in the past recent years did subsidising childcare for higher incomes and 2 parent families become available. But people (not you personally) seem to have 'forgotten' or not been aware of that. The OP gets ranted at for wanting to pack in her job and look after her child from the cries of 'why should the taxpayer support you' and conveniently forget (or not realise perhaps) that they are being supported themselves.

Not so long back, if you didn't have family members to help out, then your choices were to hold off looking for a job till your child went to school or even became of an age where they could be at home alone, I still come across some examples of people my age (40s) who stopped at home for 12-16 years after having kids,or work around the other parents work pattern, and I realise not everyone can do that either. My own husband works late, starts early and is away overnight with no pattern to it.

shellyruby

no-oneknowsme wrote: »

Sorry but this^^^is just way too funny :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

what are you here for then..