Grrr so annoyed with social services...

teabag29

To cut a long story short my ex is a child abuser. Not sexual but physical. In 2005 he broke my 7 yr old daughters arm (she is not his child). We also had a child together who was nearly 3 at the time. He got 4 years for gbh on my daughter and is a schedule 1 offender now.

He contacted me through facebook asking to see our daughter and at first i said no way but after a few years and him rehabilitating i sent him some pics of her which lead to phonecalls and last year he had a half hour contact with my daughter supervised by myself and husband in a public place. At this contact he seemed very dis-interested in our daughter and more interested in me so i stopped contact at that point. When he asked a few weeks later if he could see us again i said no you havent changed and prob never will.

I got an email back from his now girlfriend saying what did i mean. It appears they have just had a child together (hes 6 weeks old) and he has recently moved into the house with her. She also has a child in care who shes trying to get back and has contact with in the week. I was unsure if she knew about him being a schedule 1 and wasnt sure if i should tell her or not but as hes not meant to be unsupervised with children i decided to ring social services and ask their advice. This was last week and they said i had done the right thing.

However,at 15.20 today i got a visit from 2 social workers saying they had a referral and could they come in to talk 2 me. Basically the social services i rang asking for advice last week (different county) has got in contact with my county social services. They asked me about the whole situation and i explained it was me who rang them to ask advice about whether i should tell my ex's partner about his history.

They asked me about him contacting me and i explained he'd had contact once last year supervised by me and husband and it was clear that he hadnt changed much and so it has never happened since and i have told him if he wants contact he needs to go to court. They said he does not care about my daughter and he just wants a rendezvous with me.

It seems they were concerned that i would get back with him. I explained im married and have been with my partner for over 6 years, they didnt bother to find this out b4 coming to see me or that it was actually me who rang them for advice.

They said they cant close the case until they have spoken to the children in the next week or 2 and that will prob take place at school and then they will write to me explaining case is closed.

Im really angry, what right have they got to do this when it was me who approached them? Furthermore what on earth are the school going to think when social services turn up questioning the kids, not to mention what it will do to my daughters psychological state seeing social services again (she is already under camhs for emotional problems coz of what ex did to her). I feel so angry right now!

meritaten

the right they have is to protect others - they are concerned and YOU contacted them! now you are annoyed that they are following up on this! Why would you worry what the school thinks? they have prob been through this before -many times!
I think you should calm down hun - it isnt you they are worried about - but the information you gave them!

viktory

Yeah, complete b@stards, caring and doing their job properly.

Ms_Chocaholic

SS may be concerned that your daughter has had some contact with your ex. At the time of the initial investigation into your daughter's injury, did you agree with SS that your daughter would have no further contact with your ex - this is what they may be concerned about and why they want to speak to your daughter.

Just wanted to add, please don't worry (I know that's easy for me to say), if your story is as you say it is likely that SS will not do anything further.

gizmo111

They can only speak to your children at school if you give them permission, I personally hate visiting kids at school unless it is absolutely avoidable. All they are doing is following up what contact your children have with a sch 1 offender and to be sure they have to see the children to make sure what you are saying is correct.

Wonder_Womble

Social services - damned if they do, damned if they don't!

They aren't looking to do any harm to you or your family, there are certain procedures and protocols that are in place to protect children as best they can.

If you have nothing to hide then you have nothing to worry about. Can you ring the head at your DD's school and explain the situation. It will be nothing they haven't seen before and they are unlikely to judge you because of this.

At the end of the day SS are probably trying to ensure that your DD(s) aren't in contact with your ex. They aren't going to take your word for it, and would be stupid if they did. How many stories do we read in the media about children being on the receiving end of sustained abuse, SS have been involved but have taken the mother's word as gospel. I'm not saying that you are exposing your children to abuse from ex, but SS have to do their job. They aren't paid to be liked by the general public, but please respect that they have your children's safety at heart.

I understand your concern about stirring up issues for your daughter(s), but maybe you can sit down with her (them) and explain what is going on before SS visit them at school. It may alleviate some anxiety and provide you, as a family, with an open forum to discuss what happened with your ex.

Just my thoughts, hope they help.

RacyRed

Am I the only one who is wondering why social services are visiting the OP and her children when the OP contacted them to tell them that a schedule 1 offender is out there somewhere with a newborn?

Sounds like social services have their wires crossed to me.

xoxo_2

RacyRed wrote: »

Am I the only one who is wondering why social services are visiting the OP and her children when the OP contacted them to tell them that a schedule 1 offender is out there somewhere with a newborn?

Sounds like social services have their wires crossed to me.

It will probably be because she mentioned her DD had contact with the man she's reporting. They need to follow up that what the OP has said and make sure it is true and that it was a one off and supervised rather than regular and unsupervised. They have to check her DDs aren't at risk from this man.

gocurlygirl

I am sorry if you are upset,at least someone has your childs interest at heart,it is proably because of the contact with ex.
It must be a hard job and the socialworkers are ,I suppose ,following up your phone call and checking all children with potential contact are checked-I,m sure they will soon be assured your children are safe and well.Sadly ,I have come across people where it is not the case and we are all shocked by the terrible injuries and even deaths suffered by children and domestic violence victims.
The new mum who may be on her own now because of the partners history has probably had a dreadful shock too.
Just be assured that you did the right thing for the right reason.
If there was no follow up the social workers would not be doing their job.
As has been said,Damned if they do....

RacyRed

xoxo wrote: »

It will probably be because she mentioned her DD had contact with the man she's reporting. They need to follow up that what the OP has said and make sure it is true and that it was a one off and supervised rather than regular and unsupervised. They have to check her DDs aren't at risk from this man.

Errrr, not quite.

Read the OP again. Teabag called SS to ask if she should tell ex's new partner about him being Schedule 1 after receipt of an email from his girlfriend (not the OP's ex) saying she had a new baby and the OP's ex had just moved in with her. Big red danger sign anyone?

Details of the supervised visit between the OP's DD and her father appear to have emerged during the SS visit to the OP - not before.

So. Why the switch of focus to the OP from her Ex's new partner - and the child who could be in immediate danger?

Sorry if I sound cynical, we have a social worker in the family and, to be blunt about it, he never can see the wood for the trees and is the last person on earth who's judgement I would trust.

gizmo111

I got an email back from his now girlfriend saying what did i mean. It appears they have just had a child together (hes 6 weeks old) and he has recently moved into the house with her. She also has a child in care who shes trying to get back and has contact with in the week. I was unsure if she knew about him being a schedule 1 and wasnt sure if i should tell her or not but as hes not meant to be unsupervised with children i decided to ring social services and ask their advice. This was last week and they said i had done the right thing.

SS will already know about the baby and will have investigated the father - they will not tell the OP what the situation is or what plans are in place for this baby. Why is the OP communicating with this man's family?
Every referal has to be followed up and this one has possible implications that the child is seeing her abuser again - how many times do you hear of men coming out of prison to return to the partner who is convinced they had changed and believes they will be OK now.
The social worker has to talk to the children it will take all of 10 minutes if it is exactly as the OP says and then the case will be closed.
Whoever it was said the public don't like us was spot on, David Cameron is more popular!