Living life, loving life.......hypno's having a ball!

ZTD

hypno06 wrote: »

This feels different in some way - and I don't like it, and I want out of it.

Try to analyse why it's different. That is its nature, that is its weakness. As with everything, once you've identified the weakness, you just need to plunge into it and twist and it'll drop apart.

hypno06 wrote: »

I do very occasionally see said friend - real life gets in the way of that one rather a lot at the moment.

Well you know, move from very occasionally to just occasionally and smile a bit more...

hypno06 wrote: »

Right, need to get trainers on and get out.

Enjoy yourself.

MrsMoo2U

hypno06 wrote: »

Although there are identifiable elements to it, Z, I think the extent at which it has floored me is what has come out of the blue. I honestly can't remember a period like this (other than immediately after losing Dad, or OH announcing he was leaving) when I was this tearful etc.....
Every grief is different KC. How you grieved for your Dad and your lost relationship were different from each other. How you deal with the changes in your life is quite another. You are grieving but you are dealing with massive changes. Have you ever heard about the Kubler Ross Change Curve Have a read and see what you think. I get the impression that you are a tad like me - always needing to understand your emotions and take control, this might help a little. Feel free to ignore it but it might help.
Yes, I have had odd days - we all have those from time to time, and I have learned (or at least I thought I had) to deal with those as they arrive, and to give them the respect they deserve.


This feels different in some way - and I don't like it, and I want out of it.
You might just need to give "it" the respect in the same way as you give odd days. Fighting "it" can sometimes feed it perhaps. Take your time and as Z says, identify the things that you can take control of. Stop worrying about not sleeping because that will magnify that issue. By relaxing you may well find sleep will return when you are ready for it.
I do very occasionally see said friend - real life gets in the way of that one rather a lot at the moment.

Right, need to get trainers on and get out.

Real Life can be a Real Pain sometimes. Is it your Real Life or your friend's Real Life? If it is your friends then perhaps you can find a way to work around it in some way by being creative. Find out when they are free and take an afternoon off work, get up early (I know you already do) and meet for breakfast before work little things like that. If it is yours - well what is more important than sharing time with a friend that brings you joy?

Hope that you enjoyed your run and that it isnt as wet there as here.

short_bird

http://uk.imdb.com/media/rm736729344/tt0120669

Yes, it is him. Thought it might amuse.

ETA: it is Talk Like A Pirate day on Monday which can be a bit difficult for those of us in corporate employment. So, as a result, I will be off to a pub in Halesowen that is having a pirate weekend instead... last time, they had a Jack Sparrow lookalike behind the bar.

hypno06

haha, shortbird - I think I prefer the picture posted yesterday!

MrsMoo, I will have a look at that link today, thank you. As for "real life", it is his, not mine. We are *just* friends, but I care about him a great deal, and he does make me smile. But things aren't that simple and at this point in time there is not enough space there for everything. He knows where I am, but unfortunately I cannot do any more than that.

But there are other elements to this bleakness too - I need, as Z says, to plunge into them and twist. You know I don't really go into the personal "stuff" on here or on fb.....I need to keep things as dignified as I can, and don't want unnecessary judgment from certain quarters, so it is difficult to explain just how I feel and why. I need to address a lot of things, and that is not proving easy with such a fuzzy head

Zumba was good - a different teacher to the one on Tuesday, and a very different class. I will definitely continue with it in some way, but I need to work out costwise etc whether the village classes are doable as well as the gym. I have yet to try the gym's own Zumba class, so will do that next week and can then make a decision.

In the meantime, it is getting me out, getting my fitness back, and getting me LBD ready for later in the year. I too want to get back into the "life is good" frame of mind. Because, really, life *is* good.

mooomin

Just wanted to pop in and say thanks to you Hypno. You had said the other day that going to work without makeup was something you normally didn't do, and that you saw it as a step to not caring about yourself.

I recognised myself in that. I don't "dress up" for work as such as I don't have many posh/formal clothes, but always used to at least do my makeup before going in. I can't remember the last time I did that. I nearly went to work on Thursday without brushing my hair I recognise that I'm not feeling good about myself at the moment, so this morning I took the time to pamper myself - I've dyed my hair and finally sorted out my 1980s eyebrows :rotfl: I look and feel a lot better for doing that, but probably wouldn't have bothered if it wasn't for what you said on Thursday/Friday.

Thanks again petal, hope you're feeling a bit more Hypnoish soon. *hug*

hypno06

F-F - I am glad that it helped you. I was quite surprised at just how much of a difference that one day had for me, and I was glad I recognised it rather than just accepted it.

mooomin

hypno06 wrote: »

F-F - I am glad that it helped you. I was quite surprised at just how much of a difference that one day had for me, and I was glad I recognised it rather than just accepted it.

I think that it was also that this morning I realised that last night I bumped a work night out (with them paying) as I was "too tired". I think that in reality I couldn't be bothered dressing up and was scared that people would be taking photos and even though I'm two stone lighter thanks to WW I'm still nowhere near ready to have my picture taken

I think that a psychologist would have a field day with me sometimes *misses rolling eye smiley*

hypno06

flying_fresian wrote: »

I think that a psychologist would have a field day with me sometimes *misses rolling eye smiley*

You and me both :o:o:o:o Although I would probably scare mine off :rotfl:

ZTD

hypno06 wrote: »

haha, shortbird - I think I prefer the picture posted yesterday!

But at least he doesn't need a haircut...

hypno06 wrote: »

But there are other elements to this bleakness too - I need, as Z says, to plunge into them and twist. You know I don't really go into the personal "stuff" on here or on fb.....I need to keep things as dignified as I can, and don't want unnecessary judgment from certain quarters, so it is difficult to explain just how I feel and why.

Do you have a confidant that you can mull things over with in private?

hypno06 wrote: »

I need to address a lot of things, and that is not proving easy with such a fuzzy head

:grouphug:

It may not be easy progress, but if you're doing it, then it's progress.

hypno06 wrote: »

Zumba was good - a different teacher to the one on Tuesday, and a very different class.

You're becoming a Zumba connoisseur...

ZTD

flying_fresian wrote: »

I think that a psychologist would have a field day with me sometimes *misses rolling eye smiley*

hypno06 wrote: »

You and me both :o:o:o:o Although I would probably scare mine off :rotfl:

Actually you're both so normal that the head-shrinker would be disappointed they wouldn't get a paper out of you...