The Giving up/ Cutting down Alcohol support thread- number 10

maman

happyshopper wrote: »

20 for October and target of 20 for November. Thanks for scoring Shaggy. You're up there with Van Persie!

hs

And the Gorgeous Gareth!

bargainbetty

Hello all,

I'm not an alcoholic, but I am living with one. My flatmate has been struggling with his drinking for years now, and although he can go some weeks without booze, I know he slips back. I love him to bits, he is a great friend (I wouldn't have offered him a home if he wasn't) but I am torn about how I can help him, if I can help him at all.

I have read some of these threads, and am quite stunned by the strength that you all have. You deal with this condition in such different ways but with dignity and recognition of the power of addiction.

If there was anything you wished your friends/loved ones could have done, I would be very grateful for the advice or comments.

He is an awesome man. He is lovely, kind, funny, smart and generally the best flatmate a person could have. Yesterday he got drunk and came onto one of my friends, whom he knows to be vulnerable from a break-up at the minute, told me after she had left that he really likes her and wants to be her boyfriend, then spent a further ten minutes staring into my eyes telling me how beautiful I am, then tried to kiss me. Frankly, when he's drunk I think he would shag a warm scarf if gave him the eye I can deal with it and just brush him off with a friendly hug, but it's now risking my friends' feelings. I want to help him, but don't know how.

Thank you for your advice - anything is appreciated.

lamarsi

hiya everyone, I managed my 20 days in October.. actually managed 22 !!! yeah!! congrats to everyone I shall go for another 20 in November, thanks for the scoring Shaggy

lamarsi

bargainbetty I worked as a drug and alcohol worker for 12 years and I'm currently in my final year training as a mental health nurse, I can honestly say that its only when those around the drinker say enough is enough and stop facilitating the user's behaviour and they themselves make that choice to change in order for it to happen, I've seen people have prison sentences hanging over them, or have lost all contact with their friends,family children, and still carry on. We even had a guy come into rehab the same colour of a Simpson who had been told one more drink and he would die who left two hours after arriving to drink himself to death. It's hard but personally I found that most people who have serious drug or alcohol problems have to hit their own rock bottom, whatever that may be, before changing their life. No easy answers sorry

fakeplastictwee

Evening all, just taken a look at everyone's October efforts, looking very good guys!

I'm AF tonight so will declare 11 for october please Shaggy, and thanks for scoring us again x

Could I also sign up for the SNC this week please bearacus, there's a chance I'll be going out for a curry with Dad on Thursday night, (I can't have a curry without a cobra ), won't be going mad if I do go but would only like to sign up for 3 days on the SNC this week please.

Feel sad that I didn't reach my target but given the fact I've totally overindulged for the last two weeks I'm not as far out as I could've been overall.


bargainbetty, it's a shame about your flatmate. You obviously care about him very much. I think lamarsi is right though, you could voice your concerns to him but I don't think it will hit home to him until he finds it out for himself unfortunately All I can suggest is being ready to be there for him when he does hit rock bottom, as I'm sure he'll need a good friend.

May2013

Hi All.

I've finally managed to read back through last weeks posts….wow some great achievements in October and some really humbling stories where others have picked themselves up after a fall from the wagon....I don't know about the rest of you, but I would be lost without the discipline of updating my progress on this thread. My world has become a much better and more stable place since I started posting here

AF tonight so I'm declaring 19 AFD's for October please shaggy. Clients are already starting to drop Christmas 'drink dates' into my diary for November my intention is to stay AF through as many as possible so will set a target of 17 AFD's for November but will aim to do better if I can.

Could you put me down for the full monty again this week please bearacus with today being 1/4

Lots of luck everyone for lots of AFness in November xxx

mackeroo

Hi Everyone
19 AF please Shaggy for Oct and my target for Nov will be 19 thanks Full monty this week please Bearacus.
U are so right Shaggy about Nov being a tough month, last year my eating and drinking to excess started on 1st Nov and I vowed it would be the last time that would happen, so i really want to clock up some good AF days before we hit the madness which is December:xmassmile

mackeroo

fakeplastictwee wrote: »

Feel sad that I didn't reach my target but given the fact I've totally overindulged for the last two weeks I'm not as far out as I could've been overall.

I know what you mean as ive felt like that a few months this year BUT what cheers me up is thinkin about the AF days that i have clocked up. Focus on the positive x

bearacus

31 AF please Shaggy xand 1 for the SNC

bearacus x

fakeplastictwee

mackeroo wrote: »

I know what you mean as ive felt like that a few months this year BUT what cheers me up is thinkin about the AF days that i have clocked up. Focus on the positive x

You're so right. Even though I feel bad about the last couple of weeks, I've still had 11 days AF this month, which was unheard of a few months ago. I guess it's also good that I aknowledge the 'badness' of the amount I have drank too, if you know what I mean. I'm glad I'm aware of what I'm putting into my body and thinking twice before I drink now.