Bit of Advice Please Rgarding My Children

DX2

Good Luck Dan, as you can see this is what you are going to come up against in the foreseeable future

DX2

skcollobcat10 wrote: »

I felt that way too. When couples separate the courts usually let the mother bring up the children but I feel that the OP automatically assumes that he will be bringing them up.

And I know the wife has done a terrible thing, but it feels as though she is being pressured into handing over her children to their father because she feels so guilty or is being made to feel really guilty? The attitude of her working full time made me think and I feel the op is trying to put himself in a rosier picture for us.

See I didn't get that at all, I felt that Dan has been !!!!!! on from a great height. The wife is the one cheating and working all hours god sends, yet Dan is at home looking after the kids. My how this thread would have been different if it was a woman being cheated on, and the husband working all the hours

TheBottomLine_2

viktory wrote: »

I have nothing of any use to add so I will bow out.

:j:beer::j:beer::j

viktory

dogfish12 wrote: »

Viktory: its certainly not the first time that a mother has left her children willingly and won't be the last. Most of us make unsubstantiated assertions sometimes but in my view you've stepped over the mark.

*Shrugs* You're entitled to your opinion, as am I.

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

I'm sorry viktory but I find this remark offensive.

No need to apologise. As I said to dogfish, you are entitled to your opinion and I am entitled to mine.

Kalia

Because you are a SAHD you have described yourself a few times as their "mother". My OH was SAHD for 18 months and we used the description principal carer. If you are putting forward cases to the courts or anything like that I think principal carer will sound better than mother (given that you are their father). I hope that helps.

krisskross

I very much dislike the fact that the OP is complaining about the long hours his wife works as if this is her choice. Well I suppose it may be but as she is the bread winner and he says money is tight then I expect she has to work long hours or there may be travelling time included.

TBH he makes himself sound like Mr Wonderful and child carer extrordinaire and if he has had the same attitude with his wife then it is hardly surprising that she has looked elsewhere.

For goodness sake looking after a couple of children, especially with 1 already in nursery is a bit of a doddle isn't it? Many many families manage to care for their children with both parents working.

You make it sound as if she doesn't even care about her children...don't forget you were the one who wanted your daughter aborted not her.

Perhaps your wife is very worried about her surgery. Is her tumour malignant?

penguin7

Its the kids I feel sorry for.Im concerned that OP does seem to come across as thinking he is a perfect parent and in my experience its parents who feel like that and think they are beyond reproach tend to be some of the worst!!

dogfish12

Well, all I can say is that there are some disgusting judgemental people who have `contributed' on this thread. I hope I never meet you.

viktory

dogfish12 wrote: »

Well, all I can say is that there are some disgusting judgemental people who have `contributed' on this thread. I hope I never meet you.

Likewise. Thankfully, it is highly unlikely that we will ever meet.

bestpud

I have to say there is something unsettling about this thread and I can't put my finger on it either.

I have no problem with house husbands or fathers being the PWC if thats better for the family, so it's not that.

I think it's all the talk of 'allowing' her this, that and the next thing which I find strange.

If, a year down the line, she is messing the children about and not sticking to agreements etc, it would be reasonable to clamp down and dictate access arrangements.

At this stage though, the ex has as much right to the children and the OP has no right to dictate when and how she will see them!

If he truly has their interest at heart, he will negotiate with his wife rather than dictate!

And she may be 'homeless' but she does have a roof over her head and somewhere to take the children! He makes it sound as though she is living in a squat somewhere!

Sorry, OP, but you are doing no more for your children than 1000s of other parents who have split up due to one having an affair. They are your children so being a male doesn't make you parent of the year by default!

Stop with the 'I will allow her...' You are angry, I get that, but it is unfair to punish her via the children!

They won't thank you for it, believe me! You have to work together if you truly want the best for them.