Bit of Advice Please Rgarding My Children

Jowo_2

SixNineSix wrote: »

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Ive told her that i want full legal custody of the children, which she said she will agree to and sign.

...basically i want full custody of my children. i want them living with me and their residence here.

i will allow my ex to see her children of the weekend for sleepovers and she can also take them out in the week whenever she has any time off work.

Shared custody, or shared parenting as it’s also known, can offer several distinct advantages, both for parents and children. For separated fathers, it means they can be far more involved with their children, seeing them on a regular, extended basis every week. Moreover, it also means that neither parent is carrying the entire burden of parenting while the other is considered absent.


It creates equity between the parents. With standard contact orders, one parent has the majority of responsibility for day-to-day chores and discipline, whilst the other – usually the separated father – becomes the source of fun activities. This can strongly colour the attitudes of the children to the different parents.
Shared custody means your children have two homes, two stable bases where they can feel secure. Above all it means they continue to have a real family life with both parents, which makes them feel more loved.
Research carried out in America has determined that when children have experience of shared custody they have better relationships with both parents and are more satisfied with their lives. It’s also shown that even when there’s strong animosity between the parents, shared custody works well for the children.

http://www.separateddads.co.uk/SharedCustodyOfYourChildren.html

Mojisola

skcollobcat10 wrote: »

I felt that way too. When couples separate the courts usually let the mother bring up the children but I feel that the OP automatically assumes that he will be bringing them up.

That's because usually the mother has done the bulk of the caring. It would be most unfair if the mother was given care of the children when the father has done most of the parenting.

sunnyone

Is the form that "my mom has got me a form so that i can claim for a grant off the government to replace items she is taking. I aint quite sure how much i should ask for yet, i know my step dad asked for £1300 and got £600 when he left" a community care form?

If it is some posters here have not got anywhere near what they asked for and none of the things that you want to claim for are neccesities apart from the bed and only then if you have no where else to sleep, have a read of the criteria and understand that you might not get anything at all or just a couple of hundred pounds at most because like all other "free" schemes they are abused, I dont think you can get any of the other social loans at present but I only understand the criteria that is linked to here when people ask about these things as we have no use for them.

Jowo_2

SixNineSix wrote: »

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she basically said she is taking the washer, dryer, 2 wardrobes, chest of drawers, TV, sofa and the double bed as its stuff she bought or her mother bought.

im having everything else.

i know legally i am entitled to 50%, but i just want it handled quickly and politely to get this over and done with so i can move on with my life.

Are you certain of this or are you conflating a sense of entitlement with legal rights (they may be two separate things and sometimes are one and the same)?

Did you take legal advice on this matter or is this your assumption?

Did she buy these goods?

dogfish12

As to the white goods, is there not a question of health issues for the children? Could she therefore take them away?

viktory

dogfish12 wrote: »

I get the feeling that you do not like the idea of the house husband idea

Absolutely not the case at all. My own husband was a 'house husband' for while and I loved it.

Can't put my finger on why it makes me uncomfortable, but I think there is more to this than has been offered up. There seems to be little intention of genuine sharing parenting roles here - and that would be absolutely the best thing for the children. I get the impression the OP used/is using the children as a weapon - she has done a bad thing - what can I take from her and can I use the kids as a stick to beat her with. Makes me wonder how brilliant the OP really was as a husband and father - for a mother to leave her kids apparently willingly.

Don't know, just a hunch. I have nothing of any use to add so I will bow out.

SixNineSix

ehh you can close this thread please, i really dont need anyone negative around me at the moment questioning my parenting skills or judgement on my childrens welfare.

thank you to the people that helped.

viktory

SixNineSix wrote: »

ehh you can close this thread please, i really dont need anyone negative around me at the moment questioning my parenting skills or judgement on my childrens welfare.

thank you to the people that helped.

You'll need to PM a board guide and ask them to close the thread.

dogfish12

Viktory: its certainly not the first time that a mother has left her children willingly and won't be the last. Most of us make unsubstantiated assertions sometimes but in my view you've stepped over the mark.

Tigsteroonie

viktory wrote: »

The OP makes me feel really uncomfortable. The OP's wife has done a terrible thing, but it sounds like the OP has not worked for ages. He states that the kids are four and one and that he has been a stay at home Dad for 5 years. Sounds like the OP's wife had no choice but to go back to wrk to earn some money. Now he talks about the children he has raised and how he is their mother. Sad. Makes me feel really uncomfortable and I wonder what he is not telling us.

I'm sorry viktory but I find this remark offensive. We made a very similar decision regarding which of us stays home during Andrew's formative years - I didn't return to work because I "had no choice", but rather we agreed that I had the greater earning potential in a less tiring environment. Marley would probably also portray himself as the "mother" in our household.

Good luck OP :A