Putting it down on paper...and making a plan (arrrghh!!)

skyvicky123

Why of why of why did we just spend this week's last tenner on a KFC for me and OH?? Well simple answer = Crappy night, OH not in til 9pm. I am exhausted, so is he and despite us having brought in lunch we just felt like we needed it...still not good though.

On the plus side - I will make it to Friday without drawing out any more as I have a couple of quid for DD's club tomorrow. Neither of us has had any fags today...but I could happily set my chair to recline and have a deep deep sleep!

Plus I have lots of things on Ebay and Amazon which when sold can go into the savings account. Will do better next week.

**Kat**_2

Well done on the NSD. How much is your dogwalker? Do you have a neighbour with a dog you can ask and in return walk their dog once a week? xx

skyvicky123

Dog walker is £12...I don't have a neighbour who i could use. Everybody I know is out at work all week but there are people on our village forum who will do it for less. Just that This Company take him out with other dogs and all over the place (plus they are insured). He will be out of the house for hour and a half. Plus it's only for 3 months, while me work days don't line up quite right. (I am over justifying because I know I should find a way around it)

skyvicky123

I have got no motivation at work. I am totally listless and cannot seem to muster enthusiasm for anything. I am snappy and difficult with other team members and I know I need to snap out of it.

I seem to find any excuse to avoid cracking on with the list of things I know need doing. I am a hard worker, but have just become so frustrated with everything.

This job helps pay our bills and mortgage and I need it, I need to do well at it, and this is just not like me. I really must have a different attitude from Monday.

Me thinks I need to give myself a stern talking to.

skyvicky123

It feels like months since I last posted, although it's been only around 6 weeks. In that time we have gone seriously off the wagon and i'm kicking myself because now it feels so much harder to get going again. I would compare it to spending 3 hours putting together a complicated spreadsheet, only for your computer to crash and you know you're going to have to start all over again.

My confessions:

We booked a holiday when we knew we didn't have the money
I bought clothes for holiday which I didnt need and couldnt afford
We have eaten out when we know we shouldn't be spending.

Somehow we have frittered away the extra earnings which were earmarked to over-pay the credit cards. Because of this the credit card balances have gone up not down.

I don't know how to come back from this. The worst of it is that all the hard work I had put into getting the other half on board was a total waste of time. I am going to struggle to convince him to start all over again seen as I have behaved just as badly (if not worse) with money than he has over the past 6 weeks.

The money situation is tight but manageable until payday (25th) I am thinking of preparing for a fresh start on payday but I think I know at the back of my mind that I really should be seeing if I can scrape anything together from what's left of this month's money to throw at the debts. Instead I am debating one last hoorah of a meal out tonight.

We still have OH's bonus to look forward to which will be paid 25th June and will clear a big chunk. Onj a positive note, previous bonuses would have been used to buy more stuff we didn't need and would have already been spent several times over before it had even been paid (and then spent again when it actually was) So I think there definitely has been a change in attitude, just not a big enough one.

I am terrified we haven't had our LBM yet at all. I really don't want to hit rock bottom - we are miles away from that now but you never know whats round the corner.

Lemon_Tree

well done for coming back to the boards. We all have a blip and the hardest thing is to come back and confess all. People won't hold it against you. The only thing i can suggest is you start again right now. Don't wait until your pay day as you can do even more damage which will make you feel even less likely to try again. You could do worse than keep re reading your last sentence.
You can do this.

skyvicky123

Thanks Lemontree. I have to admit that I have been studiously avoiding posting because I have known at every step that i should have been stronger and said "no" to things.

I knew I had to come back at some point though...You're right of course about starting right now I know.

I think I need a to-do list because I am currently afflicted but this dreadful inability to start anything and I need to snap out of it so:

[STRIKE]
Washing on the airer
[/STRIKE][STRIKE]Freezer inventory[/STRIKE]Meal plan
[STRIKE]
More washing in the machine
[/STRIKE][STRIKE]Empty dishwasher and re-load[/STRIKE][STRIKE]
Do some ironing (at least DD's stuff for next week)
[/STRIKE]
I know some of these are not particularly DFW but I always feel so much better when my general life is in order, and much more ready to focus on other things...plus please note i am avoiding the tumbledryer!

skyvicky123

Pleased to see some of my list crossed off.

New list for today:

Hang out washing
Put away stuff on airer
More ironing
Cook dinner
Meal plan
Pay tesco credit card
Get dinner out for tomorrow

DFW wise I am concentrating on getting my head back in the right place. For us as a family it comes down to avoiding the following things:

Buying stuff we don't need at the supermarket
Eating out / Takeaways
Buying "stuff" for the sake of it
Not wanting to say no to friends events etc.
OH spends too much on booze IMHO

Itsadogslife_2

Well done for being brave and admitting that things have gone to pot, that must be someway to a light bulb moment

One thing that I feel I must say is that we have been somewhat like you in the past of relying on bonuses and having spent them before we actually got them. Our caravan died and we part exchanged it in and bought a much newer one with the premise that we would be able to pay it off when we got husbands bonus this year. Guess what, we are in a recession and therefore even though he had hit all of his targets, all managers bonuses were withdrawn and nobody got payrises. We have really learnt the hard way as we had come to rely on it but in the contracts it still says discretionary.

skyvicky123

Yep I know what you mean about bonuses! This one has been confirmed now at a certain level, but OH is arguing for more so a bit up in the air. This is the first year that it hasn't already been spent and it will defo go off the card balances!

Just been struggling to make my food inventory list stretch across 7 days but with a little bit of stretching it has been done. Will see what the OH says about the tiny meat portions packed out with garlic bread though hmmm....

I do like a bit of a challenge though so that's what will keep me going. Planning on NSD on Tue, Wed, Thu & Sun.