Putting it down on paper...and making a plan (arrrghh!!)

skyvicky123

Well I have been lurking all over the forums for a while now and finally feel that i have faced up to our debt enough to start to put plans in place to get back in control of our debts and then hopefully our future plans as a couple and a family.

Thanks to many on this forum I have absorbed (yes, like a sponge!) loads of ways of becoming more MSE and changing the way we have lived our lives up to now.

Well a little about us...there's me my OH, DD (2.5 YO) and 6 month old Barneydoodledog. Up to around Feb time we were your typical work hard spend hard (even if we didn't have the money) living in debt because we could type of people. I had been having doubts for some time about this way of life. What I hated more than anything was the feeling that we couldn't do certain things, or make certain decisions because of the noose of debts around our necks.

I wanted to have options, and I wanted to not have to worry about what would happen if our jobs went up the swanney (we both work at same small Company - OH is the boss but hey you never know what might happen. I wanted a conservatory or maybe even a big detached house in 10 years or so. I also wanted to finally see the overall figure going down and not up year on year....BUT

Now I'd decided I had to overcome the following hurdles:

OH did not like to be told what he could spend and had not had his LBM:mad:
I liked to shop and I know this doesn't go hand in hand with MSE

We both smoke and this had got to go

My friend who has my little girl 2 days a week (I reciprocate on my days off) is going on maternity leave in July so nursery fees will shoot up.

So far I have made some progress in all these areas. OH slowly getting on board. He wants to be debt free too but would take a slower approach to me but we're getting there with a few carrots like his own beer budget so he doesn't feel too hard done by and plenty of stews (he won't give up his daily meat) The stick has been a few strops on my part when i don't think he's playing fair.

The shopping - well I have just stopped (pretty much anyway) if I feel the urge I will let myself go mad with a tenner in the charity shops and I seem to feel better.

The smoking - I find it quite easy to give up but get really p**sed off when OH says he will stop but doesn't or lies about it and I end up starting again so I don't feel hard done by. He has promised faithfully to try again tomrorow and I think we will do it this time.

The childcare situation is resolved as I am going back to work FT in July which means I will be no better or worse off than I am now. I am sad to leave my little girl but she's confident and happy at nursery so I'm not worried about it.

Anyway I do tend to waffle but I am really looking to use my diary as a way of tracking the commitments I make to do certain things / spend certain amounts / ebay bits and pieces etc and hopefully meet some others who can help me on my journey.

BTW I have £43K debt. £20K is a secured loan on the house (consolidation loan done a long time ago and I will be ignoring this amount for now) so it's £23K. Will put a bit more of a breakdown in soon.

skyvicky123

And so to the debts - these are:

Egg £163 (this will be cleared 25/03)
Tesco CC £725 (cleared 25/03)
MBNA ME £1552
MBNA OH £6989
Overdraft £1500
TV Loan £1500
Car Loan £10,000
Sofa Loan £1650

All of the above are on 0% deals luckily (except santander loan) and I have just applied for new santander card at )% for 16 months (no fee) so can do BT ffrom my MBNA card to extend the 0% deal

Short term objectives are:

Objective 1 - When get paid 25/03/11 Clear and close Tesco Credit Card
Objective 2 - When get paid 25/03/11 Clear and close Egg Credit Card
Objective 3 - Change loan to a 3 year term roma 5 year estimate payments will be £315 at 8.9% and will have facility to overpay (OH to spk to santander)
Objective 4 - When get paid 25/03/11 pay £140 off OH MBNA
Objective 5 - When £33 comes in from Amazon pay off OH MBNA
Objective 6 - Send off form for 16 month 0% deal from Santander
Objective 7 - When cash from side job in (April) pay this off MBNA CW (£500)Objective 8 - When bonus comes (est £6k in July) in pay off TV balance in full and £4.5K off OH MBNA

This should make things look a bit like this from July:

ME MBNA £1447 (ish)
OH MBNA £1816 (ish)
Overdraft £1500
Car Loan £9000 (ish)
Sofa Loan £1337 (ish)

Meaning total debt reduced to £15100 which is much better.

Am back to work FT from July but as mentioned above I won't be better off (yet) I have just changed it at work so i get paid the full amount of childcare vouchers now and can build that up in my account so I can get the maximum tax saving come July as even with us both claiming the full amount it won't cover the monthly cost. From January we qualify for 15 hours which will really help. Also in July our mortgage goes to the SVR which is a 2% saving for us so that should help too.

Feels a little weird writing to myself but it's helping me to get things straight in my mind (I think):p

vka1

Hello, found your thread. Typed a post, then accidentally lost it...so attempting for second time.....

Anyway, can't offer much advice but will stick around for sharing of woes, goals and other chat.

Writing to yourself does seem strange to begin with, but hugely therapeuttic to off load thoughts, ideas and stresses this way. I've been blogging for a couple of years now, and that site contains all my non money ramblings which used to keep me awake at night. It soon becomes second nature, and other folk will appear in good time. Better to get the words out than take them to bed or out on others in the heat of the moment. Stick with it. I'm just hoping I start to visit here more than facebook!

I'm also a smoker, so you have my sympathy on that one...Although it's rollies all the way for me now. I spend £7 a fortnight rather than on a packet! Well, at least until I stop (again).

Best of luck, and nice to 'meet' you, V

vka1

PS love that you've set some do-able short term goals. Evene small steps make everything feel better......

brizzledfw

Hi there..just popping in. Great to see you've made a start..I have never got around to doing a diary..too busy reading them :-).. But will keep on checking on yours!

Have a good week

Brizzle

skyvicky123

Hi Thanks Brizzle and V for your support - have quite the fags as of today and feeling okay (now anyway!) I do find it very therapeutic knowing there is a record of the commitments I am making. TBH I feel a bit alone with this challenge at home as the OH really doesn't seem as worried about our debts as I am so at least this way I stay focused on what I want to achieve.

For example - today WILL be a NSD (so much easier when there aren't fags to buy!) Tomorrow can't be as I have to pay car parking and fill up my car but Wednesday will be another one!

skyvicky123

Am on the right track for a NSD...have said no to crisps - yay! Also OH is eating out as he is late back from work which saves me getting the pork chops out. Just need to think of something for me now for tea hmmmm....omlette?

skyvicky123

Well hello phantom readers and lurkers...it's been a couple of days since I last wrote. The time has rather run away with me.

Well first of all the bad news. OH has not managed not to smoke and has been having fags all day:mad:. We both had 1 last night by mutual agreement and they are on the sofa now and I am pretty sure there will be more smoked tonight. Max 2 each. The worst thing is I KNOW I could do it if he could do it but when he gives in my instant reaction is "well why should I miss out" Anyway will get him some patches and see if that helps from tomorrow.

The good news...(ish)well Monday was a NSD:A, Tuesday I spent about £15 on cleaning and dog bits (needed and planned = okay!) and today could have been an NSD but felt sorry for OH after a couple of 12 hour plus work days so relented to fish & chips (£6.80 sp not too bad) I still have around £14 in my purse but 1/2 will go be spent tomorrow as need £2 for toddler group and £5 for nappies.

The very good news is that friday is pay day hooorayyy!! which means I can get that tesco card cleared off and see what my salary looks like with my bonus in it for a change! Also on the plus side it's my day off tomorrow and the big boss is in the office so I will not have to deal with him double hoooorrrayyyy:T!!!

I do find it hard not to eat sleep and breathe MSE ways at the minute which is not ideal as I have been spending a big chunk of my working day surfing the forums instead BAD GIRL!

Plans for tomorrow are:

Ironing
Washing
Toddler Group
Health Visitor 2.5 year check
Library
Buy Nappies
Spag Bol for Tea for us(already made in freezer but will get the whingey face from OH as he has gone off of it!)
Take barneylabradoodle for a long walk over the field
Possibly pop over to friends house for DD to have tea with a friend

Tonight I need to chuck all the ingredient in the BM for a loaf in the AM. This week i have made a load of pizza doughs which look nice and a cheese loaf which did not rise well and was VERY dense (but filling so can't complain!:cool:) Also lemon flavour fairy cakes which went down a treat at smoothing down a few ruffled feathers in the office...I always know the way to their hearts! loving the baking at the min!

That's enough for now anyway - will try and find 5 mins in my busy schedule to pop in again tomorrow!

skyvicky123

vka1 wrote: »

I'm also a smoker, so you have my sympathy on that one...Although it's rollies all the way for me now. I spend £7 a fortnight rather than on a packet! Well, at least until I stop (again).

Best of luck, and nice to 'meet' you, V

BTW - I used to smoke rollies and was quite happy with that but stopped when I met OH as he smoked fags. Have tried to persuade him but we say just rollies and he always cheats - says it's a pain to have to pre-roll them as he is in the car a lot...excuses excuses I know!

skyvicky123

Well today's another day and 1 day closer to pay day!

Been to toddler group this am, then it's HV, library and friends house for tea.

Got a sandwich loaf in the BM so hoping for lovely soft bread in a couple more hours.

Good news is work just phoned to say a big order has come in that I have been waiting on so should put me in the good books with the big boss who is in today (and I didn't even have to show up!)

Have been suffering the last few days with stomach cramps, diorrhea (Sp) and was sick last night. I had this for a few weeks a few months ago, saw the docs. We discussed IBS but they said that mainly affected more anxious types and they didn't feel I was like that. I agreed at the time but I am beginning to wonder now as this time I can feel the stress affecting me. It's the weight of all the lists of things I want / need to do as well as pure frustration with DD when she doesn't listen to me. Last time the docs put it down to poor diet - the thing is I can honestly say that my diet is 90% improved now, I mean it's not perfect but it's miles better than it was and the last few days (bar the fish and chips) have been particularly good with HM soup, HM bread for lunch, fresh fruit, dried fruit. (oh and an ice cream but still) Before we would have 5-7 takeaways a week if we include lunch and dinner - now it's one or 2 at the most. Not sure whether I should go back to see them or see if i can improve my diet further. Maybe cut out bread??

Been a good girl today and had a ham and cheese salad with peppers for lunch. Really enjoyed it - probably because the sun is shining and it feels like summer! I am sure I'm not the only one who finally this week feels like the cloud has lifted and my energy is slowly creeping back. I LOVE this time of year more than any else - Even more than summer, the air is so crisp and fresh and clean, the sun on your back just warms you right through - beautiful beautiful beautiful!

Days like today make me glad to feel alive - weirdly I seem almost giddy with it!

Lemon_Tree

hello vicky, thought i'd have a mooch around the diaries and see who's started a new one, i have a tendancy to just stick to my regular ones.
Welcome to diary land, i have only just started a diary as i never thought anyone would want to listen to my rambles, but people do pop along eventually. I do think this site and the diaries are the only thing which have kept me sane whilst on my road to debt freedom.

Just some thoughts on what you've said. About smoking (i've never smoked so shouldn't really comment) but if you feel you can quit but don't because your OH doesn't i think you need to change you mindset around. Don't feel you're missing out, instead i think i would take the money I'm not spending and put it aside for something nice for yourself/DD and when OH asks where's his tell him he smoked it! Sorry i can be too blunt sometimes.

Well done for getting started with the planning, the biggest thing to remember is to always come back even if it feels like everything is going wrong. It will be much worse if you don't come back.
good luck and looking forward to following your progress.