Step Fathers..........

pigpen

I'd jump down hubby throat every time he was horrid to my son.

He is your 'baby'.. he has a tic and stammers because he is nervous and afraid.. the poor love... you should stand up for him not let this emotionally !!!!!! bully undermine your boy.

I'd give him 5 minutes to change his attitude or boot him..

Poor lad.. send him here for a hug I'll look after him he sounds like a really good lad who should be rewarded and praised not belittled and bullied.

Silver_123

I just hoped things would improve - that's all. It didn't happen overnight, it has been a gradual thing, of course initially hb tried really hard with son, but 3 years on, I am only able to vocalise it. I did take legal advice some time ago, I haven't sat back and done nothing.

nickyhutch

Legal advice? And what did they say?

maysmummy

Oh Fifi, what a difficult decision for you.
May I suggest that rather go for any showdown at the moment, that you do some behind-the-scenes planning. Do you have a Mum or a friend that you can talk it over with and make a plan of action. Do you work? Do you have a seperate bank account? car insurance? Make these preparations so that if you have to go, you can still continue to live. Get your Mum to hold a few quid for you and all your passports/birth certificates/ important documents.
Once that's done, concentrate on building up your lad's self esteem- meals out to celebrate achievements and milestones. If hb behaves like a spoilt baby, ignore him.

You'll soon know whether he's in it for the long haul or a jealous abusive baby.

Lots of luck
MM xx

Tropez

fifi_browne wrote: »

Even though we have a HUGE mortgage? and probably little equity???????? It sounds frightening!

More frightening than the effects of mental abuse on teenagers?

I'm sure a quick search would reveal the horrifying statistics of depression, self-harm and suicide related to abusive parents and step parents.

Irrevocable harm can be caused by mental abuse. You can either take a stand against it or assume responsibility for its consequences.

MCMitten

fifi_browne wrote: »

I just hoped things would improve - that's all. It didn't happen overnight, it has been a gradual thing, of course initially hb tried really hard with son, but 3 years on, I am only able to vocalise it. I did take legal advice some time ago, I haven't sat back and done nothing.

I think after a few years of your OH increasingly degrading your son, it's definately time to get this nipped in the bud.

That poor boy is going to have major problems, that he may not recover from, if you don't rescue him from this. Your his mum and he needs your help.

Silver_123

Well, the advised me how I stood legally, I told them I had had enough of his bullying and they just told me the law. I am frightened of selling the house which has no or little equity, I have a part time job which pays quite well.

nickyhutch

I'd be more frightened about what staying with my husband was doing to my son.

McKneff

By biting your tongue, you are alllowing him to get away with it.

Grow some balls and stand up to him.
He's a bully, and your child should come first.
He is mentally abusing him and you are standing by and letting him.
and it might just turn physical, will you still stand by and watch him punch him
Do something about it now.

January20

I can't believe you are wondering what to do!
If it was me, hb would not have belittled my child more than once.

I feel so sorry for your child to have to live like that, at such a crucial time of his life, with a mother who is too weak to stand up to the nasty bully she married! Your job is to protect your child and you are failing spectacularly!

I just don't understand.