Daughter keeps running away

HeatherH

No advice here I'm afraid, just want to send hugs, and to let you know that your family is in my thoughts. Really hope the police find her soon x

RainbowChild_2

MrsTine wrote: »

Just in case anyone ever worries about calling the police... they would rather "waste" hours or days looking because someone called them who were genuinely concerned than have to knock on your door with the worst news because no-one was out looking for her... I know a lot of officers and it is the one thing they all hate having to do... it gives them nightmares

OP do you know about any places she might be? Local shopping centre? Friends? Youth club? Can you and your OH drive round to look for her?

Longer term... is there a relative that both she and you trust that she could live with for a while? A friend of mine has her nephew living with her because he refused to stay with his mum and stepdad - they didn't get on and his way of dealing with it was to run away... repeatedly. Instead he's now settled with his aunt and her family, his uncle takes no crap from him but they deal with him as a person and not their child if that makes sense? They can deal with his behaviour in a more objective manner than his parents could... I don't know if he'll ever move back home, but it's improved his relationship with his mum immensely and they actually enjoy spending time again instead of ending up screaming and shouting and him throwing stuff out of fustration because he felt that he had no control of his life at all and he thought no-one loved him (wrongly obviously but hormones can make you think things are worse than they are....)

This will sound absolutely terrible but I wonder if temporary Foster care may help?:(

RainbowChild_2

rev229 wrote: »

Social sevices have an emergecy team that can be contacted out of hours, we had to use them over new year. it all very distressing.

Social services have said they can't help until she is found

MrsTinks

RainbowChild wrote: »

This will sound absolutely terrible but I wonder if temporary Foster care may help?:(

You may have a point and I used to know a couple who specifically took in "wayward" kids... they were very "cool" looking... ie he had tattoos, worked with high performance cars and she was very pretty and stuff etc so a young hip couple... but MAN were they strict! There was no "well do what you feel like and come have dinner if you want..." Dinner was 6:30 sharp, if you didn't like it then next meal was at 6:30am and there were no sugar loaded cereals etc... they were short term fosterers but they got great results with the kids because the kids could bond with them but they had no reason to take the crap personal from the teens... Most of the kids that had "passed through" still popped in lol and that helped the next "lot" if you see what I mean?

It may sound horrid but honestly there are some fantastic temporary foster homes out there! They allow the families to take the time to learn how to communicate again - and I think we can agree that communicating with a hormonal teenager can be like speaking a completely different language at times

OP - Keep in contact with the police If they aren't "bothered" about the address she was last picked up at then it's entirely possible that either the chap isn't there (ie in the cells already) or they are checking it regularly. They might just not be at liberty to disclose the reason... Or they might be keeping a close eye so that if she DOES go there they can pick her up without her having a chance to run away

The mobile thing will only work if the phone is on - if she's turned it off they can't do a thing... They'll find her! :hugs:

mum2twinsx2

RainbowChild wrote: »

This will sound absolutely terrible but I wonder if temporary Foster care may help?:(

Doesnt sound terrible at all. Your just trying to pull the best options out of a not so good situation.
It isnt your fault. Has she got facebook, if so is there anything in there that could indicate where she is?
Is her phone on or off?
Sorry for thousand questions...

maplegirl2011

think very carefully about temporary foster care. my ex has been going through this with his 16 year old daughter for the last 4 years. the police were never really interested that much (she would be reported missing about 21.30 and they wouldn't come around until the next day).
we even got told once when we located her ourselves that as long as the house she was in was a safe enviroment, that she could be left there and even though her parents said no, the other parents were not breaking any laws. unfortunatley this was all said in front of the child, so she knew she could do what she wanted.(the police even gave her a number and said if you are going to stay out ring us so we don't waste resources looking for you)
eventually she had to go into temporary foster care 3 years ago and has never came back. lives in a unit/childrens home, can do what she wants whenever she wants,gets a lot of pocket money / clothing allowance each week ( more than what she got at home) and basically has the life of riley.
personal taxi service by the staff ( will drive her 5 miles to her dads house so her can give her a cigarette and back again), 2 week all inclusive holiday to tenerife each year, new laptop, camera, mobile phones etc. endless trips to london theatres etc, hairdressers, false nails done every few months if she behaves herself etc. it really is unbelievable what our taxes get spent on.
the staff are unbelievable in these places, this girl was pregnant at 15, not helped by the staff picking her up from school each day and dropping her to her boyfriends house and then picking her up at 9pm and then allowing her to sleep the night there when her parents had said no (she would kick off and abscond if they said no, so easy life for them)she lost the first baby but got pregnant again at 16.
the social workers are not interested in trying to get her back with her family and to be honest now its gone on far too long and there is now no hope of her going back.

shellsuit

Oh God this is my worst nightmare

Rainbow, I hope she comes home soon, or at least you find out that she is safe.

I don't know what to suggest but I really hope for yours and her sake that this is just a short phase she is going through x

Savvy_Sue

RainbowChild wrote: »

This will sound absolutely terrible but I wonder if temporary Foster care may help?:(

It might, or it might not. However it's something to explore ...

Counting_Pennies_2

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/226144

Hi, I found this one recently, haven't had a chance to read it through

vwcampervan72

Didnt want to read and run hope your daughter comes home and things work out for the best *hugs*