From Council to private renting ....

bestpud

Errata wrote: »

I don't think there's anything wrong in helping the poor girl to see that the 'pipe dreams' are nothing more than the fantasies of a mind that isn't working well.
If it's done in the right way with the right intentions, the harm will be far less for the girl than the unrealistic rubbish her mother is cramming into her head.

I think it depends how it's done tbh and I think the OP is keen to win over her stepdaughter but she won't do that by rubbishing her mum.

Sadly she loves her mum and she needs her dad and stepmum to support her, not try and destroy her relationship with her mum.

Just my opinion, of course.

Marisco

TBH, I think it might be best if dad & stepmam go for temporary custody of the kids, whilst the mother gets help for her drug and alcohol abuse. She is obviously not thinking right and needs help. She might then be in a better position to seek employment, and be able to move to a bigger place. At the min, no private landlord will touch her with the problems she has, never mind the fact that she will have to get the best part of £1000+ just for bond etc.

debrag

Some JSA forms now include more details so you have to include who you contacted + how + contact details. You can't really lie easily on those forms unless the job centre does nothing with them.

LadyMorticia

Also need to consider that some private landlords won't accept tenants who are on DSS (I think this includes LHA?):o

Also, I don't understand why anyone would want to give a council house up. They're so hard to come by and offer a much more secure tenancy than a private let.

NikNox

bestpud wrote: »

I think it depends how it's done tbh and I think the OP is keen to win over her stepdaughter but she won't do that by rubbishing her mum.

Sadly she loves her mum and she needs her dad and stepmum to support her, not try and destroy her relationship with her mum.

Just my opinion, of course.

We have never, and would never rubbish mum to this little girl. She is all too aware of her mum's issues, and tries desperately to hide them and pretend they're not there. We are supportive and she has an open door to talk about anything she wishes to, no matter what it is. We had to sit her down just before Christmas and tell her her mother is an alcoholic because Social Services had been called by an anonymous person (about the alcoholism) and as my stepdaughter was with us for a period of time they wanted to interview her in our home. It was difficult, but was approached with huge sensitivity, and we assured her that neither SS or us wanted to remove her from her mother (her greatest fear as she feels responsible for her mum). After we had chatted to her she said she was grateful to us because we tell her the truth. We want to continue to do that as she needs to have faith in at least one of her parents. We think that as she approaches teenagehood, having a parent who is truthful with her and doesn't let her down will be of utmost importance. So, it's not about shattering dreams, it's about giving her the correct information. She won't use it against her mum simply because she'd be too scared to, but she has the right to know the truth.

NikNox

Marisco wrote: »

TBH, I think it might be best if dad & stepmam go for temporary custody of the kids, whilst the mother gets help for her drug and alcohol abuse. She is obviously not thinking right and needs help. She might then be in a better position to seek employment, and be able to move to a bigger place. At the min, no private landlord will touch her with the problems she has, never mind the fact that she will have to get the best part of £1000+ just for bond etc.

Is it possible (although I doubt it) that the Council would pay a deposit for her for private rental?

ladymarmalade1970

Sorry but i think the OP is better than this child's mum! Drink and drugs aside - and that is bad enough, she isn't going to work for another 5 years, she dangles carrots in front of her child and her kids don't even have internet for schoolwork!!!! I think this is DISGUSTING.
I pay £8 per month for 5GB download on a dongle with 3. That would be more than enough for schoolwork and is less than a bottle of spirits. Those poor, poor children.
I hate the thought that my hard earned taxes are going to support selfish women like this one that isn't even grateful for the free house she has already!! And to think she has been on benefit for 15 years!!
Sorry to rant but it really gets my back up that she can treat kids like this and we pay her for the privilege!
I am so glad the the little girl has a supportive step mum and a room at her house :-(

NikNox

Thanks Ladymarmalade, but I'm just a normal working mum who has never been on benefits and simply doesn't understand the benefit culture and some of those within it. When there's genuine need then fair enough, but I have to admit to finding it hard to think that some of my taxes go towards supporting her and people like her. In a lot of ways she's more financially better off than we are, and gets everything handed to her on a plate and can afford to drink daily. But, at what cost .. her kids missing out on things they need of course, like internet. We were astounded when she didn't apply for the free laptop and internet the government was giving grants for last year, absolutely astounded, but there you go, it was probably too much hassle.

I have to say that going into private rental will probably be too much hassle too, and that there's a big possibility that she has no intention of even trying, despite telling her kids that's what's going to happen. Like so many have said, staying in social housing offers much more security, particularly to someone who is work shy and will inevitably end up on DLA anyway. Minor adjustments in the home could make the living space much more conducive to the needs of her children, and because her daughter so wants her own space then she should at least be trying to achieve that, even if she has to sacrifice her own bedroom to do so. Sadly, sacrifice is something that doesn't exist in the world of the addict ......

paddedjohn

can she not try for an exchange, maybe someone in a council property is looking to downsize.

LadyMorticia

paddedjohn wrote: »

can she not try for an exchange, maybe someone in a council property is looking to downsize.

That's a very good point.