Estate agent speak - the translation

more_money_for_me

glitter123 wrote: »

I don't think its unusual for services to be quoted excluding VAT but I think they should have said 1.5% plus VAT. When I asked for a recent quote on a car repair they stated £xx + VAT.

Sainsbury's is quite different since the majority of the bill (food) is likely to 0% VAT.

Lots of groceries have VAT added. Working in that field I could provide a comprehensive and rather boring list!

I guess what this proves is its a case of buyer beware, and before engaging a particular estate agent asked them for a total payable including VAT, and any other additional costs. "Cheapest" isn't always cheapest or best value.

shortchanged_2

Open to sensible offers = We have had a couple of offers that the vendor feels are taking the pi*s but in reality are probably spot on. The vendor is expecting far too much for their property.

The_Drama_Llama

Beautiful house in East <Name of Posh Area> = Actually slap bang in middle of very dodgy area.

(For those who know Brighton, this week I was sent details of a 'beautiful house in East Kemp Town'...unsurprisingly, on the map it was actually in Whitehawk)

kford224

anoneemouse wrote: »

I've realised how to tell from photos that the house was owned by an old person - hence the owner is dead or in a home. Old-fashioned wallpaper, old-fashioned fire, old-fashioned kitchen, gravel instead of grass in the garden, handrails in the garden. I'll add patterned carpets to the list.

Very true!! Also, the garden is immaculate but the house looks properly neglected! (as with the house we are buying!)

Alybea

EA - Immaculate, done up by a builder.
Really - Painted magnolia, cheap white bathroom suite... extra £10k on the price.

Lirin

May require slight renovation- on one we viewed a short time ago.

The roof had fallen in at the back, piegons were acting as resident squatters, and the walls were asbestos....

tyler80

I love the random capitalization, especially on things like OUTSIDE TAP. Because you know, I wasn't considering it before but the OUTSIDE TAP has just sold it for me.

Mature Garden - overgrown, will require several weekends and trips to the dump to find the rear boundary fence
Low Maintenace Garden - covered entirely in concrete

Like a Tardis is a popular one round here, seems to be used when they've run out of other options.

Property Bee is great for allowing misspellings and general inaccuracies to live on

Just seen one that's gone from "A LITTLE TLC REQUIRED" to "With a little painting party and a lot of TLC"

geoffky

There is a other offer on the table and do you want to offer more= the other offer is a lot lower but where have we said this?

beware of this one as its used often

Impet_Limpet

tyler80 wrote: »

Mature Garden - overgrown, will require several weekends and trips to the dump to find the rear boundary fence

"Well established" - Another way of wording the above :rotfl:

My brother viewed a house, a repo.

If there are no pictures of the kitchen on the advert it means that they ripped it all out and sold it for £500 to the next door neighbour.

Lack of a comment on GCH means they ripped everything out that was metal and weighed it in.

Contessa

"oozes potential"-mushrooms growing on the walls