Inherited some money - what to do with it

ceridwen

Asianchick wrote: »

I have and I dont think I need to escape just yet but the money will be there if I need to.

Hmmm...sounds a very practical attitude to take - which I applaud...

Sounds like the best thing for now is to put the money safely to one side whilst you work out whether hubby is indeed going to "shape up or ship out" and THEN decide what is the best use for it.

Overall - you sound like you are taking a pretty practical/realistic attitude to this and know that this amount of money represents a good opportunity to "better your life".

Asianchick

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I can understand why you've never married!

LMAO

He isnt trying to gain ownership of the money. He hasnt even spoken to me about it.

It's just me thinking about how I would feel if he inherited money and didnt discuss it with me or take his family into consideration.

I dont want to be a hypocrite but I need to have some of my own money if things go south.

Asianchick

Thanks everybody.

I'm going to keep it in my bank account for now. If hubby says anything to me about it then what do I say?

ceridwen

Honestly...I think you are taking a very pragmatic attitude to this.

There are many pros and cons of looking at things from a slightly different standpoint from most. From where I'm standing - I think you sound as if you are looking at things very logically/pragmatically - but still with caring in mind.

To me - that sounds like a pretty good "balance".

ceridwen

Asianchick wrote: »

Thanks everybody.

I'm going to keep it in my bank account for now. If hubby says anything to me about it then what do I say?

Hmmm......:think: - well maybe "House prices have started to come down slightly - so if we wait for a bit we might be able to get more for our money".?????

To me - it looks as if house prices are indeed coming down VERY slightly at the moment - and this is a true practical fact to work on...

Why buy a "will do" house if waiting a little while means one can buy a "Cor - its just what I want" level house? Makes sense to me...

Fizzpop

Asianchick wrote: »

Thanks everybody.

I'm going to keep it in my bank account for now. If hubby says anything to me about it then what do I say?

If he asks just tell him the truth, your saving it, and if he enquires further continue giving the same answer as that is all you are doing and you have nothing more for it in mind at present x

Asianchick

I'm blushing ceridwen. lol

I think it's too easy to say "it's my money and he's getting none of it" but to me, that isn't marriage.

I want US to progress. There's no point in me stashing hundreds of thousands away whilst we are paying someone elses mortgage, renting. I will keep some aside in my "secret bank account" and put the rest towards saving for a deposit.

PS. I am kidding about the secret bank account.

Asianchick

Ok. I'll say I'm saving it for now as house prices are falling.

I really hope this doesnt cause any trouble.

mountainofdebt

Asianchick wrote: »

LMAO


It's just me thinking about how I would feel if he inherited money and didnt discuss it with me or take his family into consideration.

Asianchick wrote: »

.

I'm going to keep it in my bank account for now. If hubby says anything to me about it then what do I say?

So how would you feel? Would you feel that he didn't feel that the relationship had a future and that he was being sensible just in case the relationship went pearshaped or do you think he was being sensible in getting you to save for the deposit?

How would you feel if you lost your job? Would you expect him to support you just because he was the man or would you use the savings to maintain the status quo?

As for what you say, if it were me, then I think I would avoid situations where the inheritance was likely to be brought up.

My OH received a relatively large inheritance from his parents and he, without hesitation, paid off our mortgage. I'm not saying he thinks that we will be married forever - who knows what the future may bring eh? - but I would like to think he didn't have the same doubts that you have about yours.

Just one small thought though - if you do have this inheritance in a bank account and split up from your OH, wouldn't he be able to make a claim on that in any case?

celebrate

hi asain chick

i too am of asain origin, a professional (a doctor) and also married a man who i had to "carry" for many years -he was from abroad-an arranged marraige while he trained etc.

he used to waste my money on extravagant things for his family which they demanded knowing that he was now living in the uk therfore must be rolling in it!!! Once he qualified he continued to send a large proportion of his income to his family as well as wasting on his own desires (technology etc) but i did start seeing some income. I paied our mortgage of singlehandedly.

Many arguments and major seperations and seeking barristers opinions later I decided not to divorce him (i know this sounds awful) because he would apparently get half of eveything I had built up while he had nothing to show for our married life (basically its usually the other way round ) and the barrister said i would have to give him some sort of payment to get rid.

So 10years on
we have seperate bank accounts and a joint account he puts a fixed amount into each month. I am very honest and use that account only for household expenses and anything for the kids. Anything for me i use my own money.

If you are worried the relationship may get worse and legally he IS entitled to half that money because once you marry whats your is his the you need to spend it or never let him know about it or remove it in small amounts as cash and put it or give it to someone you trust for safekeeping (you can get safety deposit boxes in banks, or try your parents)

I know that sounds cold and calculated but sometimes if you are not prepared or can't leave someone if you love them but they are unpredictable you need to have a plan or savings for the future just in case it all goes wrong.

I had quite a little nest egg built up because i don't waste my money and it ate into my husbands heart everytime he saw a statement he used to get soooo jealous and it would def start rows. Since then I ahve invested in several properties and now the money is not physically there staring at us in bak accounts (ie not accessible) HE HAS LET GO.

PM me if you want to talk, good luck x