Inherited some money - what to do with it

Asianchick

Hello

I just wanted opinions on my situation.

I have inherited quite a large sum of money and am unsure what to do with it.

I am married and we currently rent. We havent been able to save up a deposit.

I would love for us to buy a house but do not want to use all of my inheritance on a deposit for a house. I would like to put some aside for the future. When we have kids or even just for security.

Is this selfish?

I am happy to put down half of my inheritance but I would like us to save for the rest of the deposit.

My husband has only recently changed his attitude towards money. Previously, he "didnt believe in saving for anything" and refused to put money aside for anything. I have also had to bail him out a lot.

Things have changed now but I want him to save some of his money towards the deposit.

What do you think? Am I being selfish?

thorsoak

If you were to use the whole of your inheritance as a deposit for a house - would YOU be able to make the mortgage repayments?

If so, and bearing in mind what you say about having had to "bail your husband out" from time to time, if I were in your position, I would think seriously about purchasing a property IN MY OWN NAME ONLY, and at the same time, save the same amount (when it's available!) from your OH in anticipation of a family.

But there again, I'm from a completely different generation, and I would automatically have used it as a deposit for "our house" and would have just kept a small proportion of the inheritance as my "mad money"!

Fizzpop

I was about to suggest you save it as soon as i saw your title.

i recently inherited a sum of money, most of it has gone into savings the rest has compleatly cleared our debts, the ammount that is in savings is enough for us to use as a deposit on a house but with our background as it is we have decided to wait a little longer.

I think you would be wise to save as much as you can and like you say maybe use half for a deposit and make your oh save and help towards the deposit too.

Ive bailed out my partner too in the past but he has repaid me by allowing me to be a stay at home mum which is what i wanted to do, but when i do return to work we will both then be looking for a mortgage and a home and pulling together what we have both managed to save.

Asianchick

thorsoak wrote: »

If you were to use the whole of your inheritance as a deposit for a house - would YOU be able to make the mortgage repayments?

If so, and bearing in mind what you say about having had to "bail your husband out" from time to time, if I were in your position, I would think seriously about purchasing a property IN MY OWN NAME ONLY, and at the same time, save the same amount (when it's available!) from your OH in anticipation of a family.

But there again, I'm from a completely different generation, and I would automatically have used it as a deposit for "our house" and would have just kept a small proportion of the inheritance as my "mad money"!

Hi

I have quite a good job so would easily be able to afford the mortgage payments for now but when we have children this will not be possible.

It's not that I want to keep the money from him, it's just that my parent worked hard for that money and by plowing it all into a deposit, its like I am letting him off the hook, so to speak.

How do I know that in 10 years time, I wouldnt hhave had enough of him. If I plough my inheritance into the house, I'll have nothing left. Also, he'll automatically be entitled to 50%.

As my husband, he should be the one taking care of us (call me old fashioned) and I have never got that from him.

thorsoak

Asianchick wrote: »

Hi

I have quite a good job so would easily be able to afford the mortgage payments for now but when we have children this will not be possible.

It's not that I want to keep the money from him, it's just that my parent worked hard for that money and by plowing it all into a deposit, its like I am letting him off the hook, so to speak.

How do I know that in 10 years time, I wouldnt hhave had enough of him. If I plough my inheritance into the house, I'll have nothing left. Also, he'll automatically be entitled to 50%.Not necessarily - as long as you have proof that the property is in your name, and that the deposit was your inheritance and that you have made the payments.

As my husband, he should be the one taking care of us (call me old fashioned) and I have never got that from him.

It sounds as if you might be thinking that your inheritance could also be your escape route!

Asianchick

Fizzpop wrote: »

I was about to suggest you save it as soon as i saw your title.

i recently inherited a sum of money, most of it has gone into savings the rest has compleatly cleared our debts, the ammount that is in savings is enough for us to use as a deposit on a house but with our background as it is we have decided to wait a little longer.

I think you would be wise to save as much as you can and like you say maybe use half for a deposit and make your oh save and help towards the deposit too.

Ive bailed out my partner too in the past but he has repaid me by allowing me to be a stay at home mum which is what i wanted to do, but when i do return to work we will both then be looking for a mortgage and a home and pulling together what we have both managed to save.

I have put off having kids for now because my husband's behaviour in the past showed me that he wouldnt look after us properly. As I said, he's changing now but there's a long way to go.

I just dont want to be left with nothing.

I think I'll put half in and then together, we'll save the rest.

mountainofdebt

I can't help but feel that you resent your OH for not being 'the man' in the relationship and that - if you were really honest - that you don't see this relationship as being forever.

For me the danger of having the money for a deposit is that you buy the first thing you see and like rather than waiting until you see the property that you both love.

Until the day you see the said property why not continue to save - you never know your attitude to whether or not you use the deposit may change as well

Asianchick

thorsoak wrote: »

It sounds as if you might be thinking that your inheritance could also be your escape route!

You're absolutely right. As bad as that sounds.

My mum suffered at the hands of my dad and I promised that I would never be like that.

Mrs_Arcanum

Save it for the moment in a savings account that needs notice (that way you avoid frittering). Then have a good think about what you really want in 5 or 10 years time.

Oldernotwiser

Are you both in secure jobs or is there any risk that either of you might need to claim means tested benefits at some point?

Personally, I wouldn't even contemplate having children with someone if I thought about them the way you talk about your husband, but maybe that's just me.

Asianchick

If he doesnt change then the relationship wont last forever.

I'll save the money for now. Don't worry. I have no plans to touch it. We can comfortably live on our wages alone.

Thanks all