Really need opinions on this

FakeIrish

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

Don't let it escalate into a massive big deal as this will only put more pressure on him and won't help. Tackle the issue together and research the issue as a team, rather than him feeling out on a limb. Best wishes.

I don't think here's any danger of that. This "In need of advice 2011" woman sound like a smashing sensitive wife and is extremely considerate of her husband's feelings.

She's the sort of wife that ought to be put on a pedestal as an example:T:T

But I still say hubby and wife need to take a Viagra each and have a party:cool:

JoJoB

Viagra each sounds a grand plan.

Maybe think of something you would find mortifyingly embarrassing, something that compromises your femininity perhaps, that you would rather get sorted on the quiet? Terrible facial hair problem perhaps? If you went for a session to get it lasered off would it really be necessary to tell OH? Or would you rather he didn't think of you as the bearded lady?

Sometimes it's not so bad to keep a few things to yourself!

barbiedoll

At least he has seen his doctor and didn't buy anything dodgy from the internet. He may well have used it to see if the effects were any good, it doesn't work for everyone and there can be some quite scary side-effects. He has probably read the leaflet several times and maybe he didn't want to spoil things by keeling over with a heart attack at the wrong time! (Highly unlikely, by the way)

If you are usually honest with each other and you normally open his post, I don't see why you just don't speak to him about it. Be gentle with him, it takes an enormous amount of courage for a man to admit to problems in the "bedroom department"

You don't sound as though you suspect him of any dodgy dealings so don't make this into a problem, it really isn't. By the sound of things, all he is guilty of is embarassment.

And don't even think about taking it yourself, it can be dangerous if you have any underlying health problems. You don't sound as though you need it anyway, your relationship seems to be in good shape, you clearly love and cherish your OH. Good luck in sorting this out, I hope you'll both be reaping the benefits soon!

mrs_marty

I can understand your mixed emotions, and your hubby clearly cares enough to tackle the problem and Im sure it would have taken alot for him to have gone to the doctors. If you still feel the need to speak to him then do it gently, pride an all that.

rachbc

If its normal for you to open his post then just say ' I opened this today, I didn't mean to pry, I understand that this must be difficult for you to talk about, but I'm here if/when you do want to'...and then respect his wish not to if he doesn't want to talk to you....

In_need_of_advice_2011

Well i`m slightly inebriated but thats not a bad thing

I really want to say a massive thankyou to everyone who has replied with advice today.:A

I managed to stay "normal" until we had eaten and a few chores were out of the way, hubs then asked if something was bothering me and then i referred him to the letter. Before he looked at it i asked him to read it and not get upset.

Huge credit to him as he did do this and then we has a really good talk. it was a long talk and many things were explained.

What had started to eat away at me was any underlying health problems but atm it seems as though there are really none that need immediate attention, he has high-ish cholestorol (sp)and i wish i`d known about this as it would have helped by changing his diet and no other known problems. I have asked about underlying cardiovascular problems and although it does not appear likely DH has agreed to ask his GP about this.

The GP was very good with DH as he had not ignored the problem and had gone for help - apparently most people don`t and try to ignore it

Dh appears to have done what he has with myself in mind ,and that is an enormous plus in my book.

He has admitted that it was not easy so massive credit to him.

Do you know i am almost shining with joy as i am so incredibly lucky to have a DH like this. I must be one of the luckiest people on this planet.

Who said that money buys happiness - give me My DH anyday and i will prove them wrong.


Thankyou once again for all the help that has been given today :A

INOA 2011

In_need_of_advice_2011

Just another quick update,

DH has a doctors appointment in a few days and he is going to ask in particular about any possible cardiovascular problems, more to settle my mind really.

He is really glad that everything is now out in the open as he really did not know how to bring the subject up, it seems that the problem is more to do with the meds than anything else but the doctor has told him that it will most likely stay and is possibly part age related too.

He asked to see a particular doctor at the surgery when he visited, he felt more at ease than with anyone else and it made it better that he could just walk away afterwards, i think that it must have taken quite a lot of courage to do that and i did tell him this.

We had a giggle at his money saving ways too - he has only been taking half a tablet as he felt that it was enough, that is why things have been a bit inconsistent.

He is going to get it on repeat prescription now and we will shop around for the cheapest price

Do you know i think a whole lot more of him now that we have had a talk about it and i feel closer to him than ever. I love my DH to bits and wouldn`t change him for the world. After all without any little niggles he would not be my DH would he.

I want to say a huge thank you once again to everyone that has posted and helped me sort my head out. You have gone a long way towards helping a happy couple be even happier :A

Pixiechic

You sound like you have a really wonderful, strong marriage and your'e right, no amount of money can ever buy that.

It's great that you have been able to talk and I am sure that he feels just as relieved about it as you do.

:rotfl:Can't believe he was only taking half a tablet, bless his heart.

All the very best to you both

euronorris

I'm really glad to hear that everything went well last night and you are now able to tackle this together.



x

HappyEnough

Hello there
Please try not to get too upset. My husband has had ongoing problems "down there" since we got together seven years ago. It is a second marriage for the both of us, and he never had problems with wife number one, so i have had more than my fair share of "is it me????" thoughts.
Bless him though, it bothers him greatly, more than i can understand really. I love him completely, and really really dont give a thought to parts not always working, im just pleased to be with him. But he finds it so embarasseing, and worries constantly, which makes it worse. He too has had viagra, and chinese tablets, and asked me to get something from holland and barrett and told me it was for building up the muscles in his legs, so he could play football again - when in reality he had researched it on google for yonks and was too embarrassed to ask me to buy them again cos i tend to just shrug it off.
I guess im just trying to say, men find it so difficult, so demeaning and unmanly and even if you are the closest that close could be, they may not be able to explain as men just dont talk.
As regards the letter, i wouldnt lie to him, or pretend not to have seen it. He knows you open the post anyhow, so just say when you are alone together that you opened the post and the letter had arrived. Tell him you didnt mean to embarress him, but if he felt there was a problem did he want to talk about it? And that you love him no matter what, sex is not everything. far far from it. But you know that, so just make sure he knows you know!
Good luck with everything, honestly is always, always best. Always.