Would this upset you?

Any

Oh, families hey!
I also have evil SIL, she said about me I am a gold digger (if my OH has any gold I am yet to find it) and she always had difficult relationship with my (and hers obviously) MIL because she always felt for some reason like she is not good enough for them or something (she is weird).

She nearly destroyed my wedding, disallowed my BIL (my OH's brother) to go and wrote nasty letters to my MIL and all sorts...

To be honest I don't really care.. they live 150 miles away and I just turn blind eye.

And now suddenly she has turned around and is MIL's best mate and my MIL tells my friends (mu MIL and I are quite close) things like "oh Any should take SIL out", "She should give her second chance" and all sorts... I have never ever done anything wrong, or refused to speak to her or anything - ever!! Unlike her reactions to me.. No idea where that is coming from? Really annoying..

No OP I don't think you have over reacted, she obviously has a chip on her shoulder and only she can sort it. She sounds like a spoilt brat who is too affraid someone might be more liked then her. I personaly would not be able to apologise for something I have never done and don't even know where it came from, I believe to nasty people it would just give excuse to do with you what they want as they know you will always come for more. I would be able to forget about past and start afresh though, that is different.

Bennifred

flippin36 wrote: »

........................ The one concern I do have is that MIL was saying unpleasant things about me infront of my daughter so we can't drop them off and leave, OH has to supervise iyswim. What a mess .

WHAT?! :mad: That would do it for me I'm afraid. I don't care how lovely they are to the children - it is totally unacceptable to be bad-mouthing you in front of them. I would not be letting the children visit them in those circumstances for fear of the children picking up the in-laws unpleasant ways. You must be exceptionally tolerant.

Percy1983

The more you type the more I would say just cut them out of your lives, all being well they will soon see the wrror in there ways.

Just remember you haven't caused a rift even if you do cut them out, you will be doing it with good reason.

red_devil

and get your oh to say more. get him to tell them if they cared about his happiness they wouldnt behave as they do!

They wouldnt take it if the boot was on the other foot.

Lara44

January20 wrote: »

You haven't over-reacted. I think she wanted a big row which is why she invited your children to the party and not you nor your OH. If you've only been together 10 years, your children are very young aren't they? How dare she do this? It was nasty and manipulative on her part and I bet she is really happy now. You didn't break the family, she did with her despicable behaviour!

I agree with this - your SIL's behaviour is very nasty and childish, not to mention plain old rude. I pity this woman. She obviously doesn't have anything better or more rewarding to do than to tally up bitter slights. What a waste of a life.

Just know that these are her issues exploding onto the scene, and nothing to do with you. I think you sound like a lovely person. Continuing to take the high road will leave your conscience clear, and not add fuel to the fire and give this lady the attention she so clearly craves.

flippin36

Bennifred wrote: »

WHAT?! :mad: That would do it for me I'm afraid. I don't care how lovely they are to the children - it is totally unacceptable to be bad-mouthing you in front of them. I would not be letting the children visit them in those circumstances for fear of the children picking up the in-laws unpleasant ways. You must be exceptionally tolerant.

To be fair I don't think she did it deliberately, thoughtlessness mixed with being angry - a mistake. She was bad mouthing me to my OH and kids happened to be in earshot. It did make me anxious though - my DD is a teenager and is going through the "life's sooo unfair" stage, which could easily be manipulated, but I don't think MIL is like that to be honest. Under normal circumstances she's ok. She was just angry that her daughter was upset which I can understand.

Percy1983

I would go next time your children visit you MIL, if they say you aren't welcome just say that your children must not be either and leave with them.

I am not always up for confrontation but sometimes needs must.

sassyblue

flippin36 wrote: »

The one concern I do have is that MIL was saying unpleasant things about me infront of my daughter so we can't drop them off and leave, OH has to supervise iyswim. What a mess .

It's not a mess of your making flippin! :mad:

I think your OH needs to tell his mother that if she bad-mouths you again the children won't be going over anymore. That YOU have done nothing to warrant this behaviour and have put up with being ignored for 10 years already!

We cut OH's brother and his evil wife out of our lives years ago, sometimes l feel sad but then l think of all the things she said over the years and did and can only kick myself l ignored it for so long - mind you l did try and sort out the comments she made once but she just denied making them!! Totally my fault for being so passive and ignoring it then but you can't deal with liars because they just tell another lie.

I don't subscribe to letting people get away with it because 'they're family' - your friends wouldn't get away with it so why should family?

Good luck, l hope MIL comes to her senses soon, SIL is just a manipulative cow, but the chances are she will go through life p!ssing people off and making enemies :rotfl: As for the school run, do you want those mushrooms* in your life who choose to believe her?


*mushrooms: kept in the dark and fed sh!te

flippin36

Lara44 wrote: »

I agree with this - your SIL's behaviour is very nasty and childish, not to mention plain old rude. I pity this woman. She obviously doesn't have anything better or more rewarding to do than to tally up bitter slights. What a waste of a life.

Just know that these are her issues exploding onto the scene, and nothing to do with you. I think you sound like a lovely person. Continuing to take the high road will leave your conscience clear, and not add fuel to the fire and give this lady the attention she so clearly craves.

Thank you for this. I did say a few things I shouldn't .

Thanks for your replies I have read them all and I'm starting to feel better already . My friends are sick to death of me going on about it so I thought I would give their poor ears a rest , and tbh I have been given more sensible advise here.

I think what was bothering me is that I was accused of being childish for being upset that I wasn't invited to the party. That's what was eating away at me. I think the general concensus is that I haven't over reacted - phew!

euronorris

flippin36 wrote: »

Thank you for this. I did say a few things I shouldn't .

Thanks for your replies I have read them all and I'm starting to feel better already . My friends are sick to death of me going on about it so I thought I would give their poor ears a rest , and tbh I have been given more sensible advise here.

I think what was bothering me is that I was accused of being childish for being upset that I wasn't invited to the party. That's what was eating away at me. I think the general concensus is that I haven't over reacted - phew!

And if none of you had been invited, I'd agree it would be childish. But....you SIL deliberately invited only your children in order to convey her feelings about you. Getting upset about her using your children as pawns in HER childish little games, is completely understandable.