Please help.....

AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH

Hi all, thank you all so much for your thoughts. You really are kind and are helping me through this difficult time.

Not surprisingly to most of you, I haven't told him yet. Mainly because he has been getting in very late from work and I didn't feel it was right to do it at that time. I'm thinking that the weekend when he is not working is maybe best. It has to be this weekend as he is talking of putting money in my name and of course that is the last thing that he should do.

I will tell him for sure because I am making myself ill and I have to think of my children.

In the meantime I have obtained all of my credit reports for him to back up what I tell him.

I'm sure he thinks something else is going on because he keeps telling me how much he loves me and how he would have nothing without me. This makes me feel much worse of course.

Will let you know when I've done it.

BILLIE

I really do feel for you - it isn't easy and none of us can put ourselves in your shoes, but for your own peace of mind and his because he is obviously thinking something like you are having an affair - or the unborn child isn't his - or whatever. Could you not face it tonight, even if you start the conversation as I have something I want to discuss with you but think the weekend would be best because of the pressure of your work, but I love you too and am not leaving. What do you think? Billie xx

SHELLSHOCK

I can understand your reasoning and maybe the weekend would be better. Have you got anyone who could have your baby for a couple of hours so that you have his undivided attention and no interruptions?

It sounds like he is a very caring husband who is worrying that his pregnant wife is not as happy as she usually is? I'm sure once you tell him and he has a while to let it sink in everything will be fine.

Keep in touch xx

AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH

Thank you.

I was thinking of maybe texting him and saying that I needed to talk to him about something tonight, that way I have to do it.

However, then he would immediately ring and would demand to know instantly. The same as if I started the conversation, there is no way it could be left unfinished.

He is unlikely to be home early tonight either and he commutes a long way for work that if we were up all night I would then worry about him driving.

I just don't know what the best time is.

There is no one unfortunately to have our daughter as we are pretty much alone here.

He is very loving and caring which is why I'm not even sure how it came to this in the first place!!! thinking back, if I had told him before we moved in together I'm sure it wouldn't have been an issue but I convinced myself I would lose him.

Well, live and learn I guess !!!!!!!!

bluebag

AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH wrote: »

Hi all, thank you all so much for your thoughts. You really are kind and are helping me through this difficult time.

Not surprisingly to most of you, I haven't told him yet. Mainly because he has been getting in very late from work and I didn't feel it was right to do it at that time. I'm thinking that the weekend when he is not working is maybe best. It has to be this weekend as he is talking of putting money in my name and of course that is the last thing that he should do.

I will tell him for sure because I am making myself ill and I have to think of my children.

In the meantime I have obtained all of my credit reports for him to back up what I tell him.

I'm sure he thinks something else is going on because he keeps telling me how much he loves me and how he would have nothing without me. This makes me feel much worse of course.

Will let you know when I've done it.

Babes, this is awful for you. There is no good time to do this, whenever you do it it will be hard for you. You know he loves you.

He maybe thinks something is going on and this is making him tell you he loves you, so not knowing is having an effect on him. You are clearly worried about it, so it is having a negative effect on you.

Just jump in and do it, the fallout will be whatever it is and you can't change that. But you can change the atmosphere that may be developing.

Take a deep breath and get it over with, you only have to do this once.

Wootball

Not trying to be mean or careless, but I would say to stop making excuses. You know you need to tell him and now you're putting it off again - there will always be a reason not to say something!

Percy1983

Wootball wrote: »

Not trying to be mean or careless, but I would say to stop making excuses. You know you need to tell him and now you're putting it off again - there will always be a reason not to say something!

I have to agree with this, it does seem you are just looking for excuses not to do it.

As mentioned above the fallout will be the same whenever you tell him, just think about it what you will say now, get any paperwork together and just do it tonight.

This may seem harsh but you really need to do this.

AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH

Harsh but fair point. Maybe I am making excuses so I'll come back and tell you when it's all done.

bluebag

AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH wrote: »

Harsh but fair point. Maybe I am making excuses so I'll come back and tell you when it's all done.

Remember you only have to do it once and you will feel relieved once it's done.


Deep breath and do it!!!

Pixiechic

You need to tell him, the stress this is causing you won't help you or your baby.

Your debts don't make you a bad, unlovable person. Not being truthful but trying to deal with the debt yourself has been misguided but to an extent commendable.

I am sure that if boot were on other foot as it were, you would try to understand and work it out. Have some faith in the man you married, all is not lost.

Be brave and just do it, all the best.