Please help.....

Yargo1

Hi. you may have seen that i told my oh on sunday just gone. I know how you feel and it makes you sick and tearful thinking that maybe it may be the end of you as a couple... that s how i felt.. BUT my oh was like really lovely.. he thought- as i went round my long winded way of telling him that it was going to be much worse (probably like i d been cheating on him or that i was pregnant!) So to hear i owed just over 7k was a much better result :-) Your husband will be ok im pretty much positive...

please be strong and tell him.. explain it all.. the in s and outs .. that it was before you were together..etc etc...

the more u can say in that you are dealing with will make him ok with it...He loves you for you..and for being a mum to his child (ren) not for the money...

good luck xxx

AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH

Thank you everyone.

Yargo 1,

I did read your posts and I'm really happy that it turned out well in the end for you. I'm hoping that I have a similar outcome.

I expect him to be angry but in my times of rational thought, which with hormones flying around aren't often at the moment, I think we can work it out.

It won't be the money, but the witholding of information - lying.

Thanks again.

woozywendy

Tell him. You are going to make yourself ill if you don't. At worst he will be angry and you will have to give him time to calm down. Have all the paper work ready to show him. Remember you are his wife and a family and you are not the only person in debt in todays society. Best wishes and thinking of you xxx

Percy1983

Got to say just tell him, its only the money and if your having a child togther I guess your love is much stronger.

As it is I am only engaged but before I proposed I put all the cards on the table, as it is I had never hid the fact I had large debts, I just never talked in detail about it.

Funnily enough due to lack of hiding it she actually thought I owed much more than I did when I listed it all. As it is she had a few debts herself and we just reviewed it all and put a plan together to clear it all between us which means there has been all sorts of credit cards transfers between us to between us we have worked them all into 0% deals now. As it is we are nearly there and will continue your tight budget and save a deposit for a house.

In short in our case it has actually made us stronger as a couple.

On the flip side if he can cover it with his savings as a couple that will save you a fortune in interest, as individuals it will save you money and lose him interest, it depends how you look at your finances.

In short this sounds like you are stressing yourself way too much here and you just need to get it out, from the sound of it thr reality probably won't be anywhere near as bad as you imagine it will be.

tallyhoh

You will have to tell him. My partner gets himself in debt over and over again & as you say its not the debt but the lies. I would be able to accept it if he told me but I have to find out.

StrongWork

Truth. Truth. Truth. It's the only way.

Good username btw!

CH27

AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH wrote: »

Thank you. He knows something is wrong because I keep crying all the time and he has said he knows something is wrong. I am very stressed and I know it's no good for all of us, including our unborn child.

I appreciate the support and I am going to try and tell him tonight. So many times over the past few weeks, it has been right in my mouth to say it.

Will definitely let you know how things go.

The longer you leave it the worse it will be.

Good luck:)

BILLIE

Any news to report - have you told him? Hope you are okay. Billie xx

SHELLSHOCK

Couldn't read and run.

I'm hoping that by now you will have told him and you will be working things out. Your marriage is still very young and new and I'm sure this situation will eventually make you stronger. We all go through trials and tribulations throughout our marriages/relationships but if you both love each other enough you will get through.

My husband "kept" something from me for many many years (I prefer to say kept rather than lying as although I don't agree with him keeping it from me I know he did it to protect me). We got through it though and we are now even stronger than before.

It sounds like you will have to means to clear the debt together so at least you don't have to struggle with that.

Hope everything turns out well.

the_alchemist

Thinking of you. As others have said, you need to tell him ... perhaps you already have.

If my husband told me something like that I would certainly forgive him, though I'd be sad he hadn't told me before.