We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.

This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.

📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

Don't know where to turn

1235

Comments

  • sp1987
    sp1987 Posts: 907 Forumite
    I am so glad this turned out well for you.

    Some great things can come from terrible starts and I am so pleased you and your son are beginning your lives together and you have that support from your mother.

    What a lovely name (though much like names like Siobhan I can never hope to pronounce it right, it is shobhan to me, lol)
  • alluring29
    alluring29 Posts: 114 Forumite
    Eejit wrote: »
    Sorry I haven't been back on before to update you all. It has been an absolute whirlwhind of events this past week and I've been too exhausted to log on never mind post a reply. :o

    The meeting with out Student Advisor couldn't have gone better if I had tried. She was lovely. Didn't judge me (didn't ask either) and offered not only practical advice but emotional support. She even offered to mediate between my Mum and I but I thought it best I made the call myself.

    I phoned my Mum pretending to have failed a pre-exam test (heck, I'm the first Uni student in the family, they don't know it doesn't exist :rotfl:) but she really surprised me. She told me to stop lying to her and tell her what was really wrong. I lied again and told her I was upset that I was about to fail my exams but she said, in her words "Emma, this is your Mum you're talking to, I know there's something wrong".

    I broke down and told her. She was on the next available flight here and she's hardly left my side since. Thank God she can't stay here overnight or I'd be smothered between her and Joanne. :D I can't believe I painted her and thought of her as this big Ogre. She's been great.

    She came with to see my SA and we've sorted out the practicalities of when/if I become a single student Mammy.

    It's such a weight off me (pardon the pun) just to know my Mum will be here for me whatever I decide when the time comes.

    Just now need to deal with the headf*ck that this is giving me. Hopefully I'll know what's for the best when I deliver him/her. :)

    Thank you again to everyone for your kind words and support through this. I honestly couldn't have got through this whirlwind few weeks without you all.

    Emma. :T

    That is great, us Mums are not too bad you know :) BTW only go to the Police if you feel comfortable about it...it is quite a gruelling experience, I have been through it.

    Good luck and well done.:T
  • alluring29
    alluring29 Posts: 114 Forumite
    alluring29 wrote: »
    That is great, us Mums are not too bad you know :) BTW only go to the Police if you feel comfortable about it...it is quite a gruelling experience, I have been through it.

    Good luck and well done.:T

    Just caught up and see you gave birth to a son. Congratulations xxxx
    :beer:
  • emsywoo123
    emsywoo123 Posts: 5,440 Forumite
    Oh Emma what a thread, you should be so so proud of what you have achieved in such a really short space of time :T :T :T

    Your thread has had me in tears and I am so pleased for you xxxxxx
  • fannyadams
    fannyadams Posts: 1,752 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    welcome to the world 'famously powerful' one!

    SO glad to hear you're both doing well, and a grand name for a lovely boy.

    wish we were allowed to see pictures, I'm sure he's a smasher.

    FA
    xx
    just in case you need to know:
    HWTHMBO - He Who Thinks He Must Be Obeyed (gained a promotion, we got Civil Partnered Thank you Steinfeld and Keidan)
    DS#1 - my twenty-five-year old son
    DS#2 - my twenty -one son
  • Eejit wrote: »
    I usually post/lurk on these forums under another name but I've found myself in an awful situation and want to remain anonymous. I hope that's ok?

    Basically I found out yesterday that I;m 32 weeks pregnant. I honestly had no idea. My friend rushed me to hospital when she found me in agony with "internal" pains on the floor of our student flat. That's the first I knew.

    If anything I've lost weight recently not gained it so no need to think I could be pregnant.

    To cut a long story short I was raped. I didn't report it as I was too ashamed and would shame my family (the first in the family to attend University, never mind move to mainland Britain) and they're devout Catholics. I come from a small community in N.I. I just know it'd be my fault as far as family/friends are concerned.

    I'm worried now that I'll be chucked out of my student accomodation and made to fend for myself. :(

    I don't know anyone here (besides my Uni friends) is there anywhere I can turn to?

    I don't expect benefits as I'll have to give the child up. Either that or be ostracised by my family and be totally own my own with a baby I'm not sure I'd want.

    I suppose my question is, if my student accom chucks me out on account of being pregnant is there anywhere I can live for a wee while?

    Gobsmacked and not going to say poor you as that is pratronising but I do feel for you :-) I don't know enough to advise about this well enough but do know a young lady, single mum who has a rented house with her 2 year old son, her council tax is paid and her rent through benefits and she then gets all her NHS stuff prescpritions, glasses etc free of charge. Then also benefits that are given to her to enable her to pay her bills and live. If you choose to keep this baby (and that is YOUR choice to make alone and should not be swayed by others advise or opinions) then yes you would be supported. This was not your fault and it is people like you that people do not begrudge benefits to in any shape or form because yours is a very genuine case. Really hope this works out the best possible way for you and your baby whatever you decide. GOOD LUCK!!
  • didn't read the thread before I posted my above post....CONGRATULATIONS and be VERY proud of yourself!!!!
  • mushy_pea
    mushy_pea Posts: 117 Forumite
    I am so glad you felt the way you did with your son. That sounds a bit odd, but i'm sure you know what i mean! Congratulations to you and your little red king, and both have my very best wishes for your future together.

    As someone mentioned, get you child benefit and tax credit forms in ASAP so you can still claim a sure start grant. As well as the benefits mentioned by other helpful people, there will be the healthy start, with money for milk and fruit and veg. Just check out the benefit entitlement calculator.

    Good luck with your new little family and lots of happy times together.
    DFW Long Hauler 292 / Sealed Pot Challenge Member #1452
    DFD - June 2027!! :eek:
  • Morglin
    Morglin Posts: 15,922 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Eejit wrote: »
    Sorry I haven't been back on before to update you all. It has been an absolute whirlwhind of events this past week and I've been too exhausted to log on never mind post a reply. :o

    The meeting with out Student Advisor couldn't have gone better if I had tried. She was lovely. Didn't judge me (didn't ask either) and offered not only practical advice but emotional support. She even offered to mediate between my Mum and I but I thought it best I made the call myself.

    I phoned my Mum pretending to have failed a pre-exam test (heck, I'm the first Uni student in the family, they don't know it doesn't exist :rotfl:) but she really surprised me. She told me to stop lying to her and tell her what was really wrong. I lied again and told her I was upset that I was about to fail my exams but she said, in her words "Emma, this is your Mum you're talking to, I know there's something wrong".

    I broke down and told her. She was on the next available flight here and she's hardly left my side since. Thank God she can't stay here overnight or I'd be smothered between her and Joanne. :D I can't believe I painted her and thought of her as this big Ogre. She's been great.

    She came with to see my SA and we've sorted out the practicalities of when/if I become a single student Mammy.

    It's such a weight off me (pardon the pun) just to know my Mum will be here for me whatever I decide when the time comes.

    Just now need to deal with the headf*ck that this is giving me. Hopefully I'll know what's for the best when I deliver him/her. :)

    Thank you again to everyone for your kind words and support through this. I honestly couldn't have got through this whirlwind few weeks without you all.

    Emma. :T

    Most mums usually turn up trumps when it comes down to it.:T:T

    Glad you told her, and it's great that she's been so supportive.

    Best wishes, with whatever you decide.

    Lin :)
    You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands..........for instance, if they are placed around your throat, she's probably slightly upset. ;)
  • Congratulations and I wish you and your lovely son all the best with your lives.

    Is his name the same as Rory?
    (AKA HRH_MUngo)
    Member #10 of £2 savers club
    Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 352.1K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.5K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 454.2K Spending & Discounts
  • 245.1K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 600.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 177.4K Life & Family
  • 258.9K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.