Don't know where to turn

Eejit_2

I usually post/lurk on these forums under another name but I've found myself in an awful situation and want to remain anonymous. I hope that's ok?

Basically I found out yesterday that I;m 32 weeks pregnant. I honestly had no idea. My friend rushed me to hospital when she found me in agony with "internal" pains on the floor of our student flat. That's the first I knew.

If anything I've lost weight recently not gained it so no need to think I could be pregnant.

To cut a long story short I was raped. I didn't report it as I was too ashamed and would shame my family (the first in the family to attend University, never mind move to mainland Britain) and they're devout Catholics. I come from a small community in N.I. I just know it'd be my fault as far as family/friends are concerned.

I'm worried now that I'll be chucked out of my student accomodation and made to fend for myself.

I don't know anyone here (besides my Uni friends) is there anywhere I can turn to?

I don't expect benefits as I'll have to give the child up. Either that or be ostracised by my family and be totally own my own with a baby I'm not sure I'd want.

I suppose my question is, if my student accom chucks me out on account of being pregnant is there anywhere I can live for a wee while?

mum2one

from the sounds of it you have a lot of decisions to make in a very short time, I would suggest reporting the rape, even after this time, then see a GP to arrnage councelling, I'm sure there be student services that you can talk to, that would be the next step, I'm so sorry that u were attacked, and finding out your 32 weeks gone your hormomes would be all over the place. I would suggest contacting brooke advisory service, (I always read the problem page in The Sun and Derdie always recommends brrok advisory as there for under 25s, so your get a lot of help and independant support and advice from there. xx

Eejit_2

mum2one wrote: »

from the sounds of it you have a lot of decisions to make in a very short time, I would suggest reporting the rape, even after this time, then see a GP to arrnage councelling, I'm sure there be student services that you can talk to, that would be the next step, I'm so sorry that u were attacked, and finding out your 32 weeks gone your hormomes would be all over the place. I would suggest contacting brooke advisory service, (I always read the problem page in The Sun and Derdie always recommends brrok advisory as there for under 25s, so your get a lot of help and independant support and advice from there. xx

Thanks Mum2One.

My hormones (or as I thought my emotions ) have been all over the place since that night. Given that I have lost weight in that time I never for one minute even considered pregnancy as a result of it.

I've never heard of Brooke but I;m just about to google them and get numbers/emails etc to contact them. Apart from posting on here I only have my flat mate to turn to - she's out tonight on my insistance that I'm not about to break but under orders not to say anything.

I feel awful for saying this but I don't know if I'd want this child even if I could support it.

If I do want it/can keep it, would I be punished for not chasing the father for payments?

VjbMusher

Hi,
I felt I had to reply. I'm so sorry for what you have been through. I went through similar and was torn on whether to keep my baby, my mind was a mess and hormones certainly don't help you to make this kind of decision. I was booked in for a termination- the whole time my gut instinct was telling me not to go through with it.

I'm so grateful that I listened to my intuition as I now have a happy beautiful boy. If anything, he saved me. I was lost and so low afer such an awful event, I feel he was actually a blessing- something great came from something bad.
He has his own personality and I love him!

I don't get any support from my family but that's another story. I met a man who was willing to raise him as his own and eventually had another baby. But now sadly we are separated, but my children are my life. I'm happier than ever.

I guess my advice to you is to listen to your instinct- it's never wrong.

Is there someone who you can confide in at uni? As with the benefits you don't have to tell them about the father. I just told them it was a drunken one night stand as I was uncomfortable telling them at the time.

I wish you all the best in whatever you decide. It does get easier

bestpud

Sorry you're having to face all this.

Contact the student counselling service at your Uni first thing Monday and ask for an urgent appointment.

As well as supporting you, they will help you access all the local services you will need, including advice on money, accommodation and your course.

They are completely confidential and there will be no record of your visits on your general student records.

With the right support you can make an informed decision that is right for you.

Best wishes.

nonnatus

I don't normally reply to these posts as I'm not sure I have anything constructive to say but my heart really goes out to you and I had to say something!
Please find some people in the "real world" to talk to and don't make any hasty decisions. You'll find there is a lot of non-judgemental support available to support you through whatever path you choose.
You sound intelligent (well, literate!), you'll be ok.

Thinking about you x

melbi_uk

Good luck in your decision and thinking about you. x

StrongWork

Terrible situation.

#1 Police.
#2 Police
#3 University - I'm sure they will be understanding. They have services in place for very unfortunate situations such as these.

The next massive question is whether you want to keep the baby. Very very difficult and not a decision to be taken lightly. As hard as it may be, I think it would be helpful to involve your family. In these instances feeling alone and unsupported is the worst.

Eejit wrote: »

If I do want it/can keep it, would I be punished for not chasing the father for payments?

The rapist is someone you know?

As I said above - police. Don't let him get away with it.

fannyadams

firstly you're not an edjit OK!

I am sending you a MASSIVE HUG hunnie.

Will your mate who found you and took you to the hospital be there for you?

Please talk to student services as they WILL help you. They've dealt with WAY worse situations than where you are now. Honestly.

Have a chat with the people at Brook they are REALLY REALLY helpful and don't judge you or anything.

Please also Go and have a chat with the Police (yes even after all this time) they will need to record what happened.

I wish you well.
FA
x

Skinticket

mum2one wrote: »

from the sounds of it you have a lot of decisions to make in a very short time,

thanked for stating the blinding obvious.

mum2one

Skinticket wrote: »

thanked for stating the blinding obvious.

#And where is your constructive comment, or can you only hide and lurk by pulling other peoples posts apart.

That poor girl has had her world turned upside down, and needs support, undertsanding, and someone to turn to, so yes with the baby due is 8 weeks she's fot a lot to go through.

get a life