What should I reasonably pay for DD to go to Uni

jennifernil

Have you looked into the University Bursary Schemes? These are generally either on merit, or something like "for ministers sons from ......" .

There may be something she can apply for. Plus, she sounds like a clever girl, so could do well in a merit award.

jennifernil

Bennifred wrote: »

I know it's easy to criticise after the event - I'm going to point it out though, in case other parents who read this are thinking of doing something similar - it's probably a mistake to tell your offspring in advance that you are saving for them or going to give them a lump sum at a certain age. It leads to a sense of entitlement, and may not be possible when the time arrives. Better to give them a lovely surprise!

It would have saved a lot of the bitterness in this case.......

Yes, a very good point. We are putting money aside now for our grandchildren (only wee as yet), but we certainly will not be mentioning it as we don't want them to have it till they are at least finished Uni!

When DD started Uni, the Graduate Endowment was in force. I started a regular monthly saver to pay the £2200 for her at the end of her course.(must treat brother and sister equally!) But by the time she graduated the GE had been abolished, so I got to keep the money.

DD did know I was doing this, but being a sensible girl, no way did she look on this as "her" money.

She would soon have been set straight if she had! :rotfl:

The_One_Who

ceebeeby wrote: »

I'm scared about them bringing in tuition fees in Scotland and then she will never go
She desperately doesn't want to stay at home which is the start of this whole thing - she could have gone to the local Uni

Does she really want to go to university or is it just being done because it is the done thing? I'm sorry, but this rings alarm bells for me. No one wants to be starting a life with debt, but sometimes it has to be done.

There is also nothing stopping her from going to the 'local' university (apart from her having already applied) simply because it is local. Nothing to say she had to live at home!

jennifernil wrote: »

Have you looked into the University Bursary Schemes? These are generally either on merit, or something like "for ministers sons from ......" .

There may be something she can apply for. Plus, she sounds like a clever girl, so could do well in a merit award.

These can be good, but they probably won't be worth much and can be few and far between. I know there's one for people who live in Renfrewshire, and from the Highlands/Islands. The universities list the big ones.

Oldernotwiser

Is there no way that she could leave home without going to university as it sounds as if this is the major motivating factor for her. Do you, for example, have relatives with whom she could lodge if she got a job or might she be interested in residential voluntary work?

ceebeeby

The_One_Who wrote: »

Does she really want to go to university or is it just being done because it is the done thing? I'm sorry, but this rings alarm bells for me. No one wants to be starting a life with debt, but sometimes it has to be done.

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Is there no way that she could leave home without going to university as it sounds as if this is the major motivating factor for her. Do you, for example, have relatives with whom she could lodge if she got a job or might she be interested in residential voluntary work?

Hi - she definitely DOES want to go to Uni. And this is solely her choice.

I have spoken to her about many other options - including joining the Armed Forces (which we have a strong family background in); apprenticeships; going to stay with relatives for a while in different countries - they all live abroad; travelling as in a gap year.

Funny you mention residential charities because this time last year her preferred option initially was to go and work with a childrens charity in Africa for a year, but she never followed this up - except with one that wanted £10k up front for having her - and I said fine, but she had to pay towards it also ..... so it never happened. We have close relatives that live in Africa, so she was given the option of exploring this avenue - but she never followed it up. Then Uni became the 'big' thing.

BFM

ceebeeby wrote: »

Hi - she definitely DOES want to go to Uni. And this is solely her choice.

.

then why are you the one on this website trying to find out how it all works?

and i wasn't suggesting she would come and work for you as an intern, it would need to be in another department. but if you can get something like that in motion it would also likely be a really useful way for her to spend summers both from a £ perspective and for her resume for when she graduates.

i have to say i think you need to spell out to her in the current climate she needs to pull her finger out and accept she will probably need to study at the local uni (can get her own place if she gets a job to do so)

and i'd also explain to her early doors she isn't getting a car before she passes her test as that could be the last straw in her eyes if you set that as a target for her. i passed first time and i was a horrible horrible driver back then.

Voyager2002

BFM wrote: »

then why are you the one on this website trying to find out how it all works?

and i wasn't suggesting she would come and work for you as an intern, it would need to be in another department. but if you can get something like that in motion it would also likely be a really useful way for her to spend summers both from a £ perspective and for her resume for when she graduates.

i have to say i think you need to spell out to her in the current climate she needs to pull her finger out and accept she will probably need to study at the local uni (can get her own place if she gets a job to do so)

and i'd also explain to her early doors she isn't getting a car before she passes her test as that could be the last straw in her eyes if you set that as a target for her. i passed first time and i was a horrible horrible driver back then.

In fairness, this thread begain with a question from the parent about how much it would be reasonable to plan to give to a student daughter. I would not expect a child to tell me how much would be a reasonable budget, nor rely on "advice" from that source.

There are excellent reasons for the daughter to study away from home: in general, going to university is the traditional time when children begin to live independently.

Since money is a problem, all thoughts of a car should be postponed indefinitely. Students don't need cars, and they certainly don't need the costs of insurance and other necessary expenses.

ceebeeby

Hi All,

Just to keep you updated - we are making really really good progress thanks to lots of the help from this thread. I'm doing most of the research work, but she is doing her part by speaking to people, filling out application form for SAAS etc. (all done).

I'm also the nominated "go back to the dads" person and have had a sensible discussion with them both regarding unacceptability of saying "no". I have mentioned this to them both that further talk was needed and why and her dad in particular seemed not to dismiss this out of hand ... so we'll see!

Thanks again

GothicStirling

I would make sure that he understands that SAAS expect him to make a contribution.

The job issue may end up a mute point as well. I was talking to a money advisor last week, and the student jobs pool is starting to dry up. So even if she does apply, she might not be able to find one. My sister has been lucky, she has worked for BHS since October, and was offered a summer job at Stirling Castle last week. I have really struggled. I worked for Debenhams [in Perth] over Christmas, I got a cleaning job in Boots in January to be told after ten days 'this isn't working out.' Since then I've been applying for every job I can. I've had 5 interviews with no luck. Keeping my fingers crossed for number 6 on Sunday, especially as it's a full time summer job.

The_One_Who

Voyager2002 wrote: »

There are excellent reasons for the daughter to study away from home: in general, going to university is the traditional time when children begin to live independently.

In Scotland things are, and always have been a bit differently. You'll find most universities intake a lot of students from within a thirty-mile radius, with a lot of students opting to live at home at least in the first year. This may be because of the relatively poor finance package, or because people just don't see a need to move away to go to a good university, or for other reasons or a combination of reasons.