What should I reasonably pay for DD to go to Uni

ceebeeby

evespikey wrote: »

I think it's appauling that your partner (her step-dad) is not contributing to her uni education, since it his his income (combined with yours) that is preventing her from getting financial help.

I think perhaps you're running two issues into each other:
1. the issue of the money you stole from her (sorry to be blunt, but it is what it is)
2. the issue of whether her family are going to financially support her at uni.

For some practical pointers, my parents gave me £200 a month (I've just graduated so this is recent pricing!) and I think that this would be my recommendation for you here. The points in favour of this are: it teaches her to budget, shows her you care about her and her education, yet shows her that if she wants more (cinemas, shopping) she has to get a part time job to pay.
HOWEVER this £200 that I recieved was for food and travel to uni. I used my (english) student loan to pay rent and bills. There was pretty much no extra money left, it was tight but happily bareable.
So even if you did give her a set amount each month she would still need to pay rent, and where would that money come from? In my case it was student loans so I would suggest doing that reseach and applying.

In addition I would thoroughly recommend getting a student bank account with interest free overdraft. These can be quite substantial (£1500), I can recommend Natwest- they offer other useful freebies like a student railcard.

I'm not sure you've read the thread in full, however, appreciate you posting.


Her step-father / father's willingness to contribute or not contribute is quite clearly discussed in previous posts. Their willingness DOES NOT affect how much she would be entitled to receive from the student loan as regardless of whether they disclose or not she's not entitled to anything other than the bare minimum of £915 per year because of our combined income. I don't disagree with your comment regarding her step-fathers attitude being appalling but would include her father in the same bracket.

I have NOT stolen off of her. Just to clarify HER money amounts to just under £1000. This sum is available as and when she wants it at any time after her 18th birthday - sooner if she can justify what she wants to use it for and its not a total waste. She understands that this will be difficult but not impossible for me to do. My original intention was to give her an additional £4000 of MY money to make the total sum available to her pre-Uni £5000 however, the money was used to buy a second house. That house is up for sale. Once the sale completes she will have the full £5000 - this may still happen before her 18th birthday in which case this is no different from the original plan. The issue arises if the house is not sold by the time of her 18th birthday, in which case as a minimum she would just have her original £1000 - if she wants it. There is no theft involved because she is not being deprived of anything that is rightfully hers at any time. I guess where you're coming from, you think she has a right to feel aggrieved that she is having to wait for her gift of £4000 due to a decision I made? I can understand but not agree nor respect that viewpoint.

Thanks for the guidance on your expenditure - that was good to know. I think someone else said they had circa £300 pcm for 'living' so as a ball park it seems to be between 200 and 300 (plus accommodation which is circa £300).

ceebeeby

BFM wrote: »

could she not work for a year before going to help fund her education. will also help her work ethic when she gets there enormously and reinforce the imporatnace of getting the best qualification she can in order to get a graduate job when she finishes.

if your income is decent assume one/both of you have good jobs, is it possible you or your DH can get her an "intern" type job for a year, if she's living at home can probably save up a bit and you should have her make contributions toward the house to help her be ready for living on her own away from home when she is ready to go - even if you are putting this rent/council tax/utilities payments she makes to one side for when she goes (without telling her you are doing so)

I'm scared about them bringing in tuition fees in Scotland and then she will never go
She desperately doesn't want to stay at home which is the start of this whole thing - she could have gone to the local Uni
Both DH and I have a 'decent' job - I could probably get her a years internship, however, and this makes me cringe as I type, but to be blunt, I wouldn't hire her as I need to do that ever juggling thing of balancing being a mum and a boss at work, and this just wouldn't be appropriate. She would 'play' the system with me as Mum. She needs the independence to be honest!

jennifernil

ceebeeby wrote: »

She has every luxury you could imagine except her own car, but she's expecting one for her 18th!

Please tell me you are not serious here!


From what you have said, this is not financially an option for you right now, and it doesn't stop with the car. Is she aware how much insurance would be?

Anyway, a car is probably a hindrance near most Unis......the parking is dire!

ceebeeby

melancholly wrote: »

it's a long way til september to live in a war zone!

I know - I've been here for the past 6+ months already with the bullets flying past

Quick update however, I have spoken to her post school and she has agreed to sit down with me later on so we can start a spreadsheet to work out the expenses etc. She's the maths buff so I've told her to bring a calculator and I'll bring the chocolates - wish me luck!!!

Rikki

jennifernil wrote: »

Please tell me you are not serious here!


From what you have said, this is not financially an option for you right now, and it doesn't stop with the car. Is she aware how much insurance would be?

Anyway, a car is probably a hindrance near most Unis......the parking is dire!

A lot of university's don't allow cars on campus for students in halls. When they are allowed when living in student housing off campus there is normally a permit charge.

Without a job she cannot afford to run a car.

ceebeeby

I'm not joking ... both the almost 18's are. We bought DD1 one for her 18th, however, she was working full-time and paid for her own insurance. I think we paid for the initial 6 months tax at the time of buying it (it was very second hand)

Fortunately both my 17 year olds have the same lethargy with driving as they do to life, and as they have been told in no uncertain terms they will not be getting any form of vehicle without a licence, I might get away with it! I should say, they both have to pay for their own lessons. DD2 (the one we're talking about) has one lesson a week / fortnight, paid for out of her Xmas money. DS1 has not had any! I would be willing to pay towards a vehicle, but am not entertaining paying towards insurance and they are clear on this.

As an aside, DD2 told me about a "great deal" the other day whereby she could be added on to my car insurance for £100 a month .... ehhhh!!! I only pay £20 a month as it is fully comp - how is paying an extra £80 a month a good deal??? I told her jokingly she was living in the land of fairies. No comprehension at all!

GothicStirling

Rikki wrote: »

A lot of university's don't allow cars on campus for students in halls. When they are allowed when living in student housing off campus there is normally a permit charge.

Without a job she cannot afford to run a car.

My university charges £90 a year, but if you're not there at 9am you don't have a chance. If you park anywhere that isn't a designated parking bay, the University grounds staff will slap you with a parking fine.

I'm sneaky, I use The Wallace Monument car par and do the 5min walk.

On the subject, the University have closed all parking on Friday because Prince Edward is opening our new library. This should be fun, 10,000 students using public transport . . .

ceebeeby

GothicStirling wrote: »

My university charges £90 a year, but if you're not there at 9am you don't have a chance. If you park anywhere that isn't a designated parking bay, the University grounds staff will slap you with a parking fine.

I'm sneaky, I use The Wallace Monument car par and do the 5min walk.

On the subject, the University have closed all parking on Friday because Prince Edward is opening our new library. This should be fun, 10,000 students using public transport . . .

This is one of the potential Uni's but she's not heard back from them yet. We came on the open day and it looked fantastic - really impressed. The library looked great too, although couldn't believe the cost of it.

Good luck for the public transport on Friday.

jennifernil

evespikey wrote: »

I think it's appauling that your partner (her step-dad) is not contributing to her uni education, since it his his income (combined with yours) that is preventing her from getting financial help.


So even if you did give her a set amount each month she would still need to pay rent, and where would that money come from? In my case it was student loans so I would suggest doing that reseach and applying.

To underline what ceebeeby said........here in Scotland, although we do not at present have fees to pay, the present grants and loans system is much less generous than in England.

I think the figure is that if household income is above around £52k, the student can only get the minimum loan of £915.

Everyone is entitled to this, so to claim it, and have fees paid, there is no need to submit income details.

Rikki

ceebeeby wrote: »

I know - I've been here for the past 6+ months already with the bullets flying past

Quick update however, I have spoken to her post school and she has agreed to sit down with me later on so we can start a spreadsheet to work out the expenses etc. She's the maths buff so I've told her to bring a calculator and I'll bring the chocolates - wish me luck!!!

My son wanted to live along way from home when he went to university but for him the best course was only twenty miles away. He lived in Halls and then student housing. He can be as close or as far away as he wants to, but in reality he is only a train ride away if needs be. He is very independent and I only see him every couple of months but he is only round the corner.

There are plus point being close to parents and still being independent.