Please help, this is tearing my family apart :(

gambit27

Yeah I see where your coming from, and agree, the only sensible way forward from this is the DNA test then take it from there.

WhiteHorse

richardfenn wrote: »

However, she sent my wife a Facebook message last night and said we could have the DNA test and then we'd never see him again so now we will have to wait and see.

Call her bluff.

If she refuses, case closed.

If she agrees and your son is not the father, case closed.

If she agrees and your son is the father, there are legal remedies, but it would certainly be better for you and your son if she clears off.

Mojisola

WhiteHorse wrote: »

Call her bluff.

Definitely. If your son did turn out to be the father - and I think it's highly unlikely - he can gain contact through the courts.

splashproof

To the OP.

Your'e getting embroiled into a moral debate on here that's not answering your key question.

I would suggest applying for PR in the family courts, this would highlight the paternity issues in front of a District Judge and CAFCASS. If it turns out your Son is not the Father, then PR can be removed. However, If your Son is the Father then PR is an important legal standing that will help secure future contact.

Focus on what you want and leave the moral debates for others.

DX2

richardfenn wrote: »

We spoke to the CSA this morning and said if she drops the DNA test then it is case closed. However, she sent my wife a Facebook message last night and said we could have the DNA test and then we'd never see him again so now we will have to wait and see.

Call her bluff.

DX2

mrsspendalot wrote: »

She sounds delightful!!!

Stick to your guns re the DNA test - it is only fair in the long run for your son and for the child involved. If the DNA test proves he is the father, the legal system will allow him the chance to maintain contact with his child regardless of what she says about never seeing him again. Just a silly little girl playing games she knows nothing about by the sounds of it. Chin up xx

The legal system will allow contact if he has enough money to take it through the courts.

Pinkruth

I had to go through the DNA/CSA testing experience for my eldest son. Although quite a while ago the test was completed at the request of his biological father and as he was found to be his dad he had to pay the cost of the DNA test. He wouldnt of had to do this if proved otherwise (which was never in doubt I hasten to add). I know the CSA has changed since then so not sure if this is still the case. I was on benefit at the time and it was a condition of my benefit that I had the test completed.

The fact that she doesnt want the test speaks volumes, but I would really suggest that you find a way of making it happen not only for your sons and yours sake, but also for the little boy who has a right to know. In all fairness I do doubt her claim, think she may have used your son as her dates dont add up.

You all need to move on and try to help your son kick his habit. It will be hard, but with clarification on the babies father he will be able to sort himself out.

All the best.

curlytop12

just wondering how things are going?hope all in the right direction.

Diamond78

Same here, hope everythings ok.