Please help, this is tearing my family apart :(

speedster

LovesDennys wrote: »

Did you mean parentel rights?





Can anyone confirm the official position between parental responsibility and parental rights?

same meat, different gravy. it's just different terms.

in law, the parents only generally have responsibilities, it's the children that have the rights, under the childrens act 1989

HelpMePay

speedster wrote: »

same meat, different gravy. it's just different terms.

in law, the parents only generally have responsibilities, it's the children that have the rights, under the childrens act 1989

.....in England and Wales.

Scotland has PRR (Parental rights and Responsibilities)

WhiteHorse

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Corrected for you

Ha.

Better still, keep it in his trousers altogether ...

Diamond78

Could you speak to your doctor regarding getting some help with the cannabis use? Although your son may not have a problem and in most cases people refuse to get help and advise, there is help out there for cannabis users. It will help him understand cannabis in more detail and the affects it has. I did a course on cannabis use, so PM if you need any details.

All the best.

Money-saving-gal

How awful for you - I agree with the others, there is no way your son should do anything else until he has proof that he's the father. It's blindingy obvious from what you say that she doesn't know who the father is - it sounds like she went for the easiest target to get money out of so it's vital that your son knows one way or the other. It also sounds like she panicked at the thought of a DNA test - sure sign that she either hasn't a clue or she knows the baby is not his. Good luck with it all, I hope that if it turns out you have a new grandson, that you can somehow make some sort of relationship with the mother. If not, at least you will know what's what.

Not wishing to be insensitive at a time like this but it's important...you don't say anything about lessons learned etc i.e., have you been able to talk to your son about the value of contraception, safe-sex etc. Whatever the outcome, the worst thing that could happen is if he goes in for casual sex again with her or anyone else and another pregnancy results. Hopefully, he will be once bitten, twice shy!

Good luck with it all, Money-saving-gal.:)

richardfenn

FBaby wrote: »

To start with, she might have a point to say that your son wasn't there for her during her pregnancy. Those allegations that she was with someone etc... might just be hearsay and not the facts.

She admitted it. That's a fact.

FBaby wrote: »

there is a small possibilities that she feels very offended that he would actually doubt he is the father and that might be alone for wanting nothing to do with him.

If she can sleep around three months into the pregnancy then it's hardly suprising my son now has doubts. The fact is proof is needed if we have to fight for his right to access. At the moment we have no proof whatsoever besides her word.

FBaby wrote: »

If he does drugs, of course she has very good reasons for refusing access.

Yep and he knows this. This is why we/he are doing everything we can to help him/himself.

FBaby wrote: »

Personally, I don't think your son is showing a lot of commitment in his desire to take his role as a father seriously. If he really does care about being a dad, he needs for once to stop taking drugs.

Personally, I don't care about your opinion. You don't know me or my family and the many steps we have taken to help him through this. Just because I haven't mentioned it on here you think you can comment on his desire? He was head over heels with this girl and she smashed everything into little tiny pieces. That wouldn't be easy to deal with for a 38 year old nevermind 18. Secondly, it isn't easy to stop something you're addicted to, try it. Thirdly, we had regular access for the first couple of months and everything was fine. My son was enjoying looking after the baby and was getting his life back on track. When she realised at Christmas they weren't going to be getting back together she started refusing access again and using the baby as a weapon against him. One step forward, two steps back.

FBaby wrote: »

Then he need to apply to court and request a dna test. If he is proven to be the dad, then he can decide how to play it, however, all this should be done with as little spit as possible as if he makes a point of proving he is not the dad etc... and then turn out to be wrong, she will most certainly use this against him and fight with all her might to have him out of her and the child's life.

He's not trying to make a point of proving he's not the dad. Have you even bothered reading the whole thread?

richardfenn

Money-saving-gal wrote: »

Not wishing to be insensitive at a time like this but it's important...you don't say anything about lessons learned etc i.e., have you been able to talk to your son about the value of contraception, safe-sex etc.

He joked the other day about becoming gay because at least men can't get pregnant

Yes he's learnt his lesson.

gambit27

I agree with the others, she wouldn't know a week later that she was pregnant, it wouldn't show up in any test after just 1 week, the earliest you can usually tell is about 4 weeks! It does sound like she's at it, but for your family's peace of mind, I'd go and see a lawyer to see if there's any way you can push for a DNA test. You should get a consultation free to see what route you take with this, if the child is your son's, you should take this girl to court immediately for contact, if not, at least it's some closure. I feel sorry for the child having a mother like her, it's an absolute disgrace the way she's behaved!

richardfenn

Diamond78 wrote: »

Could you speak to your doctor regarding getting some help with the cannabis use? Although your son may not have a problem and in most cases people refuse to get help and advise, there is help out there for cannabis users. It will help him understand cannabis in more detail and the affects it has. I did a course on cannabis use, so PM if you need any details.

All the best.

Yes we have been to see the doctor and he's had some treatment and weaned himself off it for a couple of weeks. After Christmas she started her tricks again and he turned back to it.

He's know where near as bad as he was before, but he knows he needs to stop permanently. In fact I don't think he's smoked anything for the last 4 days and long may it continue.

Grand Turismo 5 has helped

gambit27

richardfenn wrote: »

She admitted it. That's a fact.



If she can sleep around three months into the pregnancy then it's hardly suprising my son now has doubts. The fact is proof is needed if we have to fight for his right to access. At the moment we have no proof whatsoever besides her word.



Yep and he knows this. This is why we/he are doing everything we can to help him/himself.



Personally, I don't care about your opinion. You don't know me or my family and the many steps we have taken to help him through this. Just because I haven't mentioned it on here you think you can comment on his desire? He was head over heels with this girl and she smashed everything into little tiny pieces. That wouldn't be easy to deal with for a 38 year old nevermind 18. Secondly, it isn't easy to stop something you're addicted to, try it. Thirdly, we had regular access for the first couple of months and everything was fine. My son was enjoying looking after the baby and was getting his life back on track. When she realised at Christmas they weren't going to be getting back together she started refusing access again and using the baby as a weapon against him. One step forward, two steps back.



He's not trying to make a point of proving he's not the dad. Have you even bothered reading the whole thread?

To FBaby, as Richard said, the girl was sleeping around at 3 months pregnant after his son had commited to her!! I think she'd have a damn cheek to be offended...

And the fact that the family looked after the baby so much to begin with, I think proves he is commited to being this baby's father, and is emotionally involved, so would LOVE to be the baby's father, but to get any kind of contact, he first has to prove via DNA that the baby is his, or not as the case may be.

Richard, I sincerely hope this works out for you all, and the girl in question needs a serious wake up call if she's to be a fit mother!!!