Please help, this is tearing my family apart :(

HelpMePay

First of all you done the right thing asking for the test, don't let yourself think it wasn't. If you hadn't of asked your son could have spent the next 18 years paying and fighting for a child that may turn out not to be his.

It does sound very telling how her attitude has changed now her bluff has been called, although there remains a slight chance she is just being stroppy.

Talk to the CSA, the case belongs to the child they may be able to help you push for a test. Talk to the CAB, they should be able to advise you on your sons rights etc.

I would also consider asking your son to talk to a councillor, if he can start to see the same thing we are all seeing he may be able to let go and move on.

Good luck

richardfenn

Thankyou all for your replies

We will contact the CSA tomorrow and see what they say and recommend. Then dependant on what they say we will also make an appointment with the CAB.

Thanks again for all your kind words and help, it really is much appreciated

speedster

firstly, if parentage is disputed and PWC refuses DNA then the case stops. period. end of.

with regard to gaining a DNA test, you're in for a struggle if she refuses. you could try applying for PR as he's on birth certificate and also a contact order, but even if you're successful in gaining an order, there's no guarantee she'll comply.

i agree with the other posters on here, all the facts point to your son NOT being the father, and her actions are doing nothing to say any different. so now may be a good time to step aside and put it behind you and all move on.

Mojisola

speedster wrote: »

firstly, if parentage is disputed and PWC refuses DNA then the case stops. period. end of.

with regard to gaining a DNA test, you're in for a struggle if she refuses. you could try applying for PR as he's on birth certificate and also a contact order, but even if you're successful in gaining an order, there's no guarantee she'll comply.

i agree with the other posters on here, all the facts point to your son NOT being the father, and her actions are doing nothing to say any different. so now may be a good time to step aside and put it behind you and all move on.

He isn't on the birth certificate, is he?

You could get advice from a solicitor about forcing a DNA test. Your son is probably going to need that to accept that she has conned him otherwise he may not be able to move on from this. It will always be at the back of his mind that the child may be his.

DX2

richardfenn wrote: »

Is there any legal way to make her have a DNA test done though?

You would be surprised how easily some men can do this.

speedster wrote: »

with regard to gaining a DNA test, you're in for a struggle if she refuses. you could try applying for PR as he's on birth certificate and also a contact order, but even if you're successful in gaining an order, there's no guarantee she'll comply.

He ain't on the BC, and why would anyone want PR of a child that might not be their's? How would PR stand with the CSA? Seek advice before even doing anything that might remotely tie your son to this child for life if he isn't the father.

sjc3

richardfenn wrote: »

12 months ago my 18 year old son slept with a girl after knowing her for just a few hours. A week later she said she was pregnant and it was his.

However the girl had him registered and refused to let my sons name be put on the birth certificate.

As the DNA testing date gets closer she has got more and more agitated and has now decided that we can have no access whatsoever and that she will drop the CSA so that the DNA test can't be done.

How terribly sad for you all. I got to the 2nd sentence and alarm bells rang. I dont know many people who sleep with someone on a first date and a week later they can say hand on heart they are pregnant by them. The timing just seems all wrong.

Unfortunately the two other comments you made that I have quoted above seem to back this train of thought.

I hate to say it as it will no doubt shake a very vulnerable young man but I think your son has been tricked and treated horrendously. I doubt very much the baby is his.

kelloggs36

No there is no legal way to force her to do one, however, if the CSA can't get her approval, then 1, the case is closed and no further action. Secondly, if he applied to the courts, he could get a declaration of NON parentage so that she can't go back and try again. NOt sure of the whole process.

speedster

DX2 wrote: »

You would be surprised how easily some men can do this.

He ain't on the BC, and why would anyone want PR of a child that might not be their's? How would PR stand with the CSA? Seek advice before even doing anything that might remotely tie your son to this child for life if he isn't the father.

my bad. i mis read and thought he was on BC.

doesn't affect csa, DNA is deciding factor.

sjc3

AnxiousMum wrote: »

I highly doubt your son is this little boy's father! She knew one week later that she was pregnant and that it was his? If she's on a regular 28 day cycle, there is no way - as it would've been day 13-15 or so that he would've had to sleep with her, meaning she would've had to have known around days 20-22 that she was pregnant. Even the best of pregnancy tests don't let you know until a few days prior to a missed period. I'm thinking she was pregnant when she slept with your son. Face it - if she's sleeping with someone else when she was 3 months pregnant, she's not exactly the loyal partner is she?

I agree with this 100%, the time frames you mentioned OP just dont add up. How awful for your family. I think its despicable to mess with peoples emotions the way this girl has. Your son may well need alot of counselling to get through this. I wish you alot of luck.

DX2

speedster wrote: »

my bad. i mis read and thought he was on BC.

doesn't affect csa, DNA is deciding factor.

Parental rights doesn't affect CSA?