NCT membership

kidtechnical

s&#64 wrote: »

I'm not allowed to have a home birth because it's an IVF baby it has to be 'consultant-led' care...not that I'd be brave enough to opt for one first time round!

Technically there's no such thing as "not allowed" when it comes to choosing where you give birth... unless you're sectioned under the mental health act where you give birth is your choice. They may recommend you don't & use language that implys your not allowed, but they can't actually disallow you, they'd be breaking the law. (for example when DS2 was due the midwives told me that "the hospital will let you go 10 days over your due date before giving you an appointment for induction"... "oh that's nice of them, but I won't be induced, I'll be monitored after my due date"... )

Anyone interested in homebirth or childbirth should have a squint at this website http://www.homebirth.org.uk/
I wish I'd found it when I had no1 in hospital, I think most of the info in it is invaluable wether you're giving birth at home or hospital, lots of research, explains your rights etc...

jellyhead

i too was under the impression that i'm 'not allowed' a home birth. i wonder why IVF conceptions have to be hospital births though, if mum and baby are healthy then in what way are they different to other births?

i was in hospital over night monday and yesterday there were 2 women put into my room for monitoring (not very fair to them as i was in for infection, vomiting etc. so even though i hadn't vomited for 9 hours i still think these ladies might have preferred to avoid my germs if they'd been given the choice). both were overdue, both got induced against their will really, you could see that one wanted to wait a bit longer as she was only 5 days late, the other wanted a home birth, she'd had her last child at home and she thought ten days overdue wasn't a problem, the tests and trace etc. were all fine and there was no reason to think the baby was at risk of anything. in both cases the midwife inserted prostin or something as neither woman was anywhere near ready to dilate. i may be cynical but it seemed to me like both women could have gone longer with just monitoring but maybe the ward was a bit quiet so they wanted to get these 2 births out of the way? the prostin etc. was done for both at the same time, as a job lot really, it seemed that they weren't being treated as individuals. okay they were given the chance to say no but it didn't really seem that way. they didn't have their bags so i don't think either of them had expected more than a bit of monitoring that day. the one who'd had a previous home birth seemed to be in pain and panicky really early, she started labour in less than an hour, i bet she was much more relaxed when she had her home birth last time. i did wonder why they couldn't insert the prostin, lie her down for half an hour for it to start working and then let hubby take her home again? i don't know much about labour though. it was just the way both women seemed unhappy with the prostin but didn't seem to feel brave enough to say no, made me think i really need hubby there to speak up for me when it's my turn because i REALLY don't want that placenta jab unless there's a medical need.

carpool72

Quite right kidtechnical, but the problem is that most of us have it ingrained in us that 'doctor knows best', after all they are the experts aren't they. As Jellyhead illustrates, it can be very difficult to go against the 'advice' of your doctor / midwife even when they are heading for a path you didn't really want to go down. It's also in the way they speak to you - you often aren't offered a choice, but are told 'we'll do such&such', the assumption being that you'll agree, which most people do, and it can take a bit of gumption to disagree and say you'd rather do something else.

I'll get off my soapbox now, but if you do want something, don't be afraid to ask for it. Some health professionals may be surprised to hear an opinion being voiced, but they should at least discuss the issue with you and make an effort to respect your wishes. This is where I found the NCT invaluable, as a source of information which helped me to make informed choices, and when I voiced an opinion I knew that what I was saying was valid. It wasn't easy to speak up, but I was glad I did - I was nearly induced at 5 days overdue, which I didn't want, but managed to stop myself saying 'OK' and asked if I could leave it a week instead - the SHO was surprised but agreed & I started naturally 2 days later.

Jellyhead, I included in my birth plan, which my hubby had a copy of to refer to in times of brain numbness, that I wanted to deliver the placenta naturally if possible. DH remembered this & told the midwife while I was pushing - we discussed it (briefly lol!) and agreed to wait 15-20 minutes and see what happened. It was all very relaxed and the placenta came out no problem within 10-15 minutes while I was getting to know my baby. The choice is yours and there's plenty evidence to support you.

I think what I'm trying to say is that some people just want to go with the flow and that's fine, but equally, some people want more involvement and choice and the more information and support there is for that the better IMO.:D

jellyhead

i'm mostly happy to go with the flow, i don't want to be difficult or neorotic, there are just a couple of drugs i'd rather not have. i'll write a birth plan and make sure hubby knows about it lol!

s@sha

kidtechnical wrote:

Technically there's no such thing as "not allowed" when it comes to choosing where you give birth... unless you're sectioned under the mental health act where you give birth is your choice. They may recommend you don't & use language that implys your not allowed, but they can't actually disallow you, they'd be breaking the law.

She probably didn't actually say the words 'you're not allowed'. But she asked me which hospital (out of two) did I want to attend...which I hadn't even thought about at only 10 weeks. I can't remember how I brought up the subject of home birth, I didn't actually say I wanted one...but I did want to sort of 'test the waters' to see what she'd say.
But straightaway she said that there were two types of care,midwife-led or consultant-led, and that there were certain situations where the care was consultant -led. Apparently, fertility treatment fdalls under consultant-led care. So,with that & it all being new to me, I just accepted that I 'had to' have a hospital birth.

I have wondered since, as Jellyhead said, why does it matter, if both the baby & I are healthy? I mean, giving birth is giving birth, how the baby was conceived is all in the past?

Although I like the idea in theory of home birth, I think with a first baby I'm too unaware of what chilbirth will be like to really know if I could do it. I am really scared of the pain! But I also am scared of having no control in hospital, and of not being able to assert myself and not knowing how much say I will get in how things go.

There was also a really off-putting story about home birth in our local paper last week...because of the chronic midwife shortage, a woman who had opted for a home birth was left completely on her own in labour, as there was no midwife to attend. Her mother ended up delivering the baby. They had rung the hospital 3 times. The first time was when they were told no midwives were available. She rang again 5 hours later when her contractions were 10 mins apart & the hospital said 'don't bother to ring again until they're 5 mins apart' !!
So she did & they told her she'd have to go to another hospital, but by then the woman knew she'd never get there in time. Her mother delivered the baby half an hour later. ( and knowing where the other hospital is, she was right...it would have taken her about an hour to get there from where she lived)

I thought that story was awful. The woman concerned said it was really traumatic & that she felt completely let down by the system, after being given so much ecouragement to have a home birth. The Welsh Assembly currently has a drive to get 1 in 10 women to give birth at home, but as she said, this just makes a mockery of that.

I don't know if this midwife shortage is nation-wide, or just local to us in Cardiff, but I found that story quite worrying.

jellyhead

scary story! poor woman. when i was in hospital on monday night they were short staffed and really busy, if somebody had wanted one of those midwives to leave and attend a home birth i can't see that they'd have found anyone. i'm sticking with hospital, i think i'll want pain relief. my friend had a home birth recently, no reason to think anything would go wrong but the baby got her shoulders stuck and when she was born she didn't breathe for absolutely ages, something ridiculous like 8 minutes!!!! she was rushed to hospital and is fine now. i think part of the problem was that they didn't realise the baby would be a big one, no scans after the 20 week one. i think if i had a home birth i'd be trying to get up and clear up, do some washing, etc. whereas after a hospital birth you can just lie around for a bit lol!

CDP

Hi

I have had two homebirths ( with big babies too!) and they were fantastic. My only regret is that I didnt have my first at home as I thought it would be better in hospital. How wrong was I???

With the homebirths my DH was there all the time, none of this visting lark, homecooked food, cups of tea when you want. Also undivided attention of midwife too. In hospital they often look after more than one woman at a time.

The thing to remember is that if you book for a homebirth and you decide when in labour you want to go to hospital no one will stop you going in. However if you go to hospital and then decide you want to go home to birth you wont be able to do it! Its really just keeping your options open.

HTH
CDP

jellyhead

what pain relief can you have at home (just wondering, for the scaredy cats among us lol!). i know they bring gas and air but can they give anything else, like injections? it would be nice to be able to eat and drink when you want to and you wouldn't have to share a room with other screaming women, etc. i suppose if you were in the situation of the scary story above you could always decide to go into hospital if they thought there was a chance of nobody coming to assist you. i live less than a mile from hospital road-wise, and only a 5 minute walk (the roads go the long way around) but if i lived a long way from the hospital i'd worry about the baby having problems breathing and being too far from the hospital. i think that's what upset my friend, that they were a long way from hospital and something went wrong, it was all fine in the end though.

Bun

Hiya,

Hope everything is going well for you pregnant ladies!
Couple of things mentioned here which I'd like to comment on. Firstly, the papers of course would latch onto a difficult stressful birth. Makes good news. The very good births (no pain control, waterbirth etc) also make the news because this is what midwife care can and often leads to, and is how they are encouraging women to go, with as few drugs and interventions as necessary. You only generally hear about those at these ends of the spectrum. It's the same with caesareans, you only hear about Posh at the Portland hospital, not the necessary life-saving ones. My cousin brags she had no gas and air or anything, but this was because the first time it made her sick!She wasn't superwoman. People have different pain thresholds and that's that, which should be put forward. I makes me really cross that women brag about lack of pain relief - as Ruby Wax says nobody says they go to the dentist and have a tooth taken out with no pain relief! Horror stories scare you, women like my cousin make others who don't wish to experience their level of pain fell inadequate. Mine was active up until the end when mini-bun got stuck (ironically as he was only 5lb 2 and the contractions spun him round as he didn't have gravity on his side due to his weight) so have done both bits. Overall it was a very positive labour and I could choose my positions etc. I know which bits worked for me (all pain and contractions in my back) and which I'd do again (tens and birth ball) and which I wouldn't (birthing pool). Due to the end though I am no longer classed as no risk, and the low birth weight runs in my family, so will have to have any future babies at a more medically orientated hospital which I am not as keen on, but I s'pose just because it's different. But at the end of the day, as long as you have put any wishes in a birth plan so you feel you are at least putting forward your views , whether they pan out or not (I used 'as far as possible' lots) and your baby is ok then you have done the best you can. Also many doctors surgeries "don't support" home births. If you are dead set then you can often move to somewhere that does if you are low risk.
Sorry for the long and rambly rant!
There was a phone in on Jeremy Vine on pain free births being superior that I almost had to restrained from phoning....probably for the best!

Bun

Sorry, so as not to offend anybody (I only had gas and air and they took it off me at the end, you wouldn't think it from my rant!!!) fear does definitely raise your level of pain. Mine shot up only when things went wrong. I 'm sure that's why homebirths are recommended so well, as you must be more relaxed from the offset.