NCT membership

jellyhead

i got my membership stuff through today and there's no mention of a chequebook. ah well ...

kidtechnical

jellyhead wrote:

i got my membership stuff through today and there's no mention of a chequebook. ah well ...

I think the branches tend to have supplies of the chequebook, so if you go to bumps & babes or coffee mornings ask one of the committee or email or call whoever the chairperson is & ask if they have any. I found it pretty useless to be honest, vouchers for stuff I didn't buy, only used a couple of them & probably only bought the stuff cos I had money off vouchers (can't pass up a bargain even if it's a rule of MSE not to buy stuff you don't need!)

jo_b_2

kidtechnical wrote:

I think the branches tend to have supplies of the chequebook, so if you go to bumps & babes or coffee mornings ask one of the committee or email or call whoever the chairperson is & ask if they have any. I found it pretty useless to be honest, vouchers for stuff I didn't buy, only used a couple of them & probably only bought the stuff cos I had money off vouchers (can't pass up a bargain even if it's a rule of MSE not to buy stuff you don't need!)

Yes. I picked my chequebooks up from the ante-natal classes and then afterwards at the coffee mornings.

Kidtechnical, you can use money off vouchers for things that you haven't actually bought at most branches of Tesco and Asda.

There's a whole thread about this on the Discount Voucher board.

KK

I have already posted on this thread and given my positive experiences of the NCT but would like to add a few more observations.

I was lucky to get a group who were all lovely people and we still get together now. The classes went into much more depth than the NHS ones and were much more informed. The husbands were also very much a part of the class and lots of questions were encouraged. In fact my husband piped up and said he didn't want to be at the birth and was congratulated at the group for his honesty - BUT the information he gained at the classes actually changed his mind - for me this was extraordinary. The knowledge we gained felt very empowering and it felt as if this baby was happening to both of us and not just the mum. I ended up having a caesarean and although I don't think the teacher approved of me not even trying going into labour (medical advice) she was still terribly supportive and gave me lots of books to read. We had a reunion when all the babies had been born which was fun.

Classic quote from the NCT teacher: she came up to me at an event and said 'Did you know such and such have had their babies?' 'Wow', said I 'what did they have?' (meaning girls or boys), the teacher replied 'caesareans' - I laughed my socks off later! Our teacher was very pro home birth and breastfeeding and knitting your own yoghurts, but I wouldn't say she 'disapproved' of hospital births or bottle feeding.

I always remember the collective gasp from the husbands/partners at our first class when shown a life size poster of a size 12 woman with a 34 week pregnancy (we were on average 32 weeks) in cross section and how much room the baby took up and how all the internal organs were pushed aside to make room for the foetus - that was worth the money in itself!

A friend of mine who has 3 children and didn't do NCT classes said she always though they were for people whose houses had names not numbers! It does have a white middle class 'nothing is too good for my baby' image but it is changing and as a charity they have done a huge amount for the rights of women in childbirth. My birth and new baby experiences wouldn't have been nearly as positive without them and the support I received.

jellyhead

i hope those yoghurts were made from organic hemp must admit i'm worried about not fitting in, we're poor and scruffy, hubby has long hair and wears a leather jacket. i've joined and was sent a list of coffee mornings etc. and it all seems very friendly and welcoming, i'm just too shy

that was brave of your hubby to admit he didn't want to be there. i'd rather not be there myself :rotfl: it came up at the weekend, there's something on over a weekend that hubby was invited to, all his friends are going but he had to say no because the baby might be arriving or will have been born. i told him he can go, i don't mind if he misses the birth and everyone was horrified. he doesn't want to miss the birth and isn't going, but if he had booked it he'd get no end of hassle off family and friends about it. i was there when my sister had her first and although it was nice to see the newborn baby to be perfectly honest i felt sick when the doctor was ferreting about with forceps in his wellies and a pool of gunge, i don't know how the father managed to cut the slimy revolting cord and when i saw the placenta i did actually vomit. very embarassing! if i was male i'd be at the birth but i'd want to stay near the wife's head, i know it sounds really pathetic but i just wouldn't be able to cut the cord or anything like that, i'd faint or be sick so i do feel for men who'd rather not be there lol!

Lillibet_2

jellyhead wrote:

that was brave of your hubby to admit he didn't want to be there. i'd rather not be there myself :rotfl: it came up at the weekend, there's something on over a weekend that hubby was invited to, all his friends are going but he had to say no because the baby might be arriving or will have been born. i told him he can go, i don't mind if he misses the birth and everyone was horrified. he doesn't want to miss the birth and isn't going, but if he had booked it he'd get no end of hassle off family and friends about it. i was there when my sister had her first and although it was nice to see the newborn baby to be perfectly honest i felt sick when the doctor was ferreting about with forceps in his wellies and a pool of gunge, i don't know how the father managed to cut the slimy revolting cord and when i saw the placenta i did actually vomit. very embarassing! if i was male i'd be at the birth but i'd want to stay near the wife's head, i know it sounds really pathetic but i just wouldn't be able to cut the cord or anything like that, i'd faint or be sick so i do feel for men who'd rather not be there lol!

My Hubby has said no way does he want to cut the cord, he doesn't want to see Spud being born & intends to stay near my head & facing away from the birth area, if I have to have a ceserean he seriously doesn't think he'll be able to go in with me. I want him to be with me but really don't mind that he isn't interested in the business end! I think given the option he would gladly stay in the waiting room & send my mum in with me instead! Unfortuantley for him I can't imagine having my Mum there!

jellyhead

lol! i don't actually want my hubby at the other end, i've told him he's only allowed in if he stays by my head lol! i think if you have a caesarian they put a screen up and hubby does stay at the head end, i've never had one though so i can't confirm. i haven't asked hubby about the cord yet, i suppose i should mention it, he wasn't there when i had spud so he probably doesn't know he'll be offered such a delightful opportunity

carpool72

my hubby came in, although he didn't want to cut the cord or anything messy like that. He stayed next to my head, where I needed him most. In a caesarean they do indeed put a screen up & your partner generally stays at your head end. If you want they'll put a mirror up so you can see your baby being born.

Gather your courage and have a look at the groups jellyhead - mine was very unscary & very supportive and I'm really glad I went. Most new members sit quietly and take it all in anyway so if you're shy and don't feel like talking much no-one will think anything of it.

s@sha

jellyhead wrote:

must admit i'm worried about not fitting in, we're poor and scruffy, hubby has long hair and wears a leather jacket. i've joined and was sent a list of coffee mornings etc. and it all seems very friendly and welcoming, i'm just too shy

Oh I'm glad someone else said that, it's exactly how I've been feeling! I've plucked up the courage to put my name on the provisional list for the ante-natal classes, but hubby & I are both rather shy when it comes to speaking up & taking part in groups. Hubby is certainly not one who would normally go in for 'sharing his feelings' in a group, even if it is relaxed...though he is a lovely, sensitive caring person

I'm just not sure if it would end up being something I dread going to every week rather than something to enjoy.

Also, there seems to be a lot of emphasis ion the group forming a support base for each other for after the births, and keeping in touch with the other members & forming friendships...but the classes are taking place too far from home for us to get there without a car, and I'm thinking that this means most of the people will also be coming from a widespread area. I don't drive due to a disability...even if I did hubby has the car for work so I wouldn't have one during the day... so I'm wondering if this will make it difficult for me to meet up with the others outside of the classes & get much out of the support side of things.

And I do feel a bit that we aren't 'middle-class enough' to fit in either!

s@sha

And talking of the partners being at the birth...mine says he wants to be there, but a friends of mine (who keeps giving me un-asked for advice on what I should be doing & what to expect) spent ages telling me how useless men are because they don't know how to help & don't say/do the right things, and that I'd be better off having my sister or some other female I feel close to who's been through it herself! She said she ended up getting more stressed because she was worrying about her partner as well as herself and the baby.

So that just reminded my of what hubby was like during my IVF treatment, when we were having the embryos transferred in....the nurses kept telling him to help me, to hold my hand and encourage me to think nice, calming thoughts (it was quite painful)...but he just stood there like he was suddenly paralysed!

Afterwards he said it was because he felt useless because the nurses kept talking to me & smoothing my brow etc..he felt there was no room for him. So what on earth is he going to be like when I'm in the middle of labour & there's doctors and nurses around me then? D'oh! I still want him to be there, though I think I might end up telling him to go out & come back in just in time to see it born!